Chapter 3 "Describe the Gap" Flashcards
When you’ve created enough safety you can?
talk to almost anybody about almost anything
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever _______.
regret.
What do most business schools not teach?
Leadership
Violated Expectation:
a gap: difference between what you expected and what actually happened.
GAPS are thought of as:
Violated Promises
Broken Commitments
Bad Behaviors
For the purpose of this book GAP means:
serious, consequential, and complex deviations, something that might be hard or even risky to discuss.
When starting Accountability Conversations do NOT do the following:
- Play Games
- Play Charades
- Pass the Buck
- Play “Read my Mind”
A form of “Playing Games”:
Sandwiching - good intentions married to bad logic
Surprise Attack - Starting with small talk than moving in for the kill.
A form of “Playing Charades”:
Relying on nonverbal hints and subtle innuendo
A form of “Passing the Buck”:
This would involve making your issue with the employee someone else’s problem and your are merely talking to them about it.
What are the steps to “Describing the Gap”?
- Start with Safety
- Share your Path
- End with a Question
Start with Safety:
Simply describe the gap between what was expected and what was observed.
Make the conversation as safe as possible so that the person does not go to?
Silence or Violence
People feel unsafe when they believe one of two things:
- You don’t respect them as a human being (Mutual Respect)
- You don’t care about their goals (Mutual Purpose)
If your tone of voice, facial expressions, or words show disrespect you could be losing?
Mutual Respect
If it becomes clear to others that your purpose is at odds with theirs you could be losing?
Mutual Purpose
Typically we care so much about the content of the conversation that we forget to watch for?
Fear and Forget to restore safety
_______ is a preemptive tool for stopping disrespect?
Contrasting
Contrasting consist of 3 parts:
1 - Imagine what other might erroneously conclude
2 - Immediately explain that this is what you don’t mean
3 - Explain what you do mean.
The bigger the problem the more likely the other person will feel?
Disrespected
When an accountability discussion turn ugly much faster than you imagined odds are the person misunderstands your?
Intent
To Establish Mutual Purpose:
Build a common ground before stating the problem
A powerful sign of respect when speaking to someone is to?
Ask for Permission, especially on sensitive subjects.
Accountability discussion should always be held in what type of setting?
Private
Common Violations made when you should be speaking in Private are:
- Inappropriate Humor
- Group Attacks
- Combining Safety Skills
When Sharing your Path its best to start with the facts:
what you saw and heard
When describing what the person did:
- Stay External
- Explain what, not why
- Gather facts
Humans move from Observations to Action via the:
Path to Action Model
Accountabilities worst enemy is?
Lack of Clarity
What is the homework required for holding an Accountability Discussion?
Gathering the Facts
Once you have done your best to make it safe and described your path what is next?
End with a Question
What is a simple diagnostic question?
What happened?
