Chapter 1 "Choose What and If" Flashcards
No amount or preparation can save a conversation if the person who brings up the failed promise isn’t …?
in the right frame of mind.
When approaching accountability discussions who must we work on first?
Ourselves
Before saying anything what must you ask yourself?
What and If
The WHAT question is?
WHAT violation or violations should be actually addressed?
The IF question is?
You have to decide IF you’re going to say anything?
What may be the most important concept of this book ?
The question of WHAT you should discuss.
What are some signs that you are dealing with the wrong problem?
- Your solution doesn’t get you what you really want
- You’re constantly discussing the same issue
- You’re getting increasingly upset
If the solution you are applying doesn’t get you the results you really want, its likely you’re dealing with?
the wrong problem.
Living the same problem over and over, day after day, is referred to as?
Groundhog Day
The ability to reduce an infraction to its bare essence takes?
Patience, Proportion, and Precision
To make sure you are “Confronting the Right Issue” you must….
1 - Take time to unbundle the problem
2 - Must decide what is bothering you the MOST
3 - You must be concise
The issue should be distilled to a?
Single Sentence describing the problem
The acronym CPR stands for?
Content
Pattern
Relationships
What has just happened? refers to the ______ of CPR.
“C”ontent
What has been happening over time? refers to the _____ of CPR?
“P”attern
What is happening to us? refers the the ______ of CPR?
“R”elationship
Of the 3 concerns of CPR, which is the biggest concern?
“R”elationship
What helps you determine what is the most important issue to discuss?
Analyzing Consequences
What 2 factors should be considered when determining CPR issues that routinely pop-up in accountability discussions?
Consequences and Intentions
What 3 essential aspects should you think about when picking out the possible infraction when there are many on the list?
- What do I want for myself
- What do I want for the other person
- What do I want for the relationship
To Decide what Issue to Confront use the following:
- Think CPR (Content, Pattern, Relationship)
- Expand the list by considering “Consequences” and “Intentions”
- Choose from the list using what you do and do not want for: yourself, other, and relationships
Once you have unbundled the issue you must ask yourself?
IF you are going to say something.
It is sometime better to consider ________ before deciding whether to bring up the issue.
Consequences
When it comes to not speaking when you should what is the prominent issue?
Going to silence
You should ask yourself the following 4 questions if you find yourself clamming up when you should be speaking up:
- Am I acting out my concerns
- Is my conscience nagging me
- Am I choosing silence over the risk of speaking up
- Am I telling myself that I’m hopeless
What kind of time are employees working if not using the standard 8-5 hours?
Flex-time
Sometimes you don’t hold others accountable because you feel isolated…. meaning?
You fear you are the ONLY one who see a problems (this is your conscience nagging you)
What can compel people to act against their best judgement?
Peer Pressure Coupled w/ Formal Authority
2 Silence-Driving Math Tricks are:
- downplaying the cost of not speaking up
- exaggerating the cost of expressing our views
When downplaying the cost of not speaking up we often:
- look exclusively at what’s happening to us in the moment rather than at the total effect
- underestimate the severity of the existing circumstances because we become inured to the consequences we’re suffering
- we can’t see our own bad behavior when we fail to remain silent.
When exaggerating the cost of expressing our view we often:
- conjure up bad things that might happen
- often imagine appalling outcomes no matter how unlikely
At the heart of most decision to stay quiet is?
the fear that we won’t be able to make a difference
Telltale signs the you should speak up:
Sign 1 - You’re acting out your feelings
Sign 2 - Your conscience is nagging you
Sign 3 - You’re downplaying the cost of not taking action while exaggerating the dangers of speaking up
Sign 4 - You figure that nothing you do will help
When breaking tradition and deciding to enforce standards that were not enforced before you must?
Issue a fair warning
You have to reset others expectations in a way that doesn’t look smug.
Inconsistency breeds ________.
Insecurity.
