Chapter 12: Managing Conflict

Question 1

conflict

Answer 1

an expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources and/or interference from the other party in achieving their goals

Question 2

for it to be a conflict…

Answer 2

1. both parties have to express it to each other (expressed struggle)
2. there is one winner and one loser (perceived incompatible goals)
3. not enough of something to go around (perceived scarce resources)
4. each of your well beings depends on each other to a certain extent (interdependence)
5. conflict is bound to happen (inevitability)

Question 3

avoidance conflict style

Answer 3

ignore or stay away from conflict (lose-lose)

Question 4

accommodation conflict style

Answer 4

allow other to have their own way rather than asserting our own point of view (lose-win)

Question 5

competition conflict style

Answer 5

approach that involves high concern for self and low concern for others (win-lose)

Question 6

compromise conflict style

Answer 6

gives both people at least some of what they want, but both sacrifice part of their goals (negotiated lose-lose)

Question 7

collaboration conflict style

Answer 7

each person gets what they want (win-win)

Question 8

Toxic Conflict (“the four horsemen”)

Answer 8

criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling

Question 9

conflict rituals

Answer 9

repeating pattern of interlocking conflict behaviors

Question 10

complementary conflict

Answer 10

the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behavior

Question 11

symmetrical conflict

Answer 11

both people use same tactics

Question 12

escalatory spiral

Answer 12

both partners treat one another with matching hostility, each threat and insult leading to another

Question 13

de-escalatory spiral

Answer 13

partners both withdraw from one another instead of facing their problems

Question 14

conflict in young children

Answer 14

boys get their way by ordering people around, girls make proposals for requests

Question 15

conflict in adolescence

Answer 15

girls use indirect aggression (gossiping), boys use verbal / physical fights

Question 16

conflict in adulthood

Answer 16

men vs. other men: competing behaviors
men vs. female: avoidance
female vs. female. compromise w male or female

Question 17

conflict in different cultures

Answer 17

some focus on saving face while others prefer competing style
collectivistic more about conflict compromise

Question 18

How we Collaborate (7 steps)

Answer 18

1. Define your needs
2. Share your needs with the other person
3. Listen to the other person’s needs
4. Generate possible solutions
5. Evaluate possible solutions and choose best one
6. Implement the solution
7. Follow up on the solution