Chapter 12

Question 1

Shaver and Hazen (1993) have examined the continuity between childhood attachment relationships and romantic relationships in a number of studies.

Answer 1

They find that the quality of childhood attachment relationships is linked with the quality of adult romantic relationships

Question 2

as adults, individuals who were securely attached to a caregiver in childhood

Answer 2

find it easy to get close to others,

Question 3

individuals who were not securely attached to a caregiver in childhood

Answer 3

find it difficult to development intimate relationships and are often less trusting, which makes them more possessive and jealous, than securely attached adults.

Question 4

Why do we like to associate with people who are similar to us?

Answer 4

Consensual validation is one reason. Our own attitudes and behaviors are supported, people tend to shy away from the unknown, implies that we will enjoy doing things with another person.

Question 5

We even date/marry people who are

Answer 5

similar to us in attractiveness.

Question 6

matching hypothesis

Answer 6

although we may prefer a more attractive person in the abstract, in the real world we end up choosing someone who is close to our own level.

Question 7

in some limited cases and on some isolated characteristics

Answer 7

opposites may attract.

Question 8

Erikson’s 6th stage

Answer 8

Intimacy vs. Isolation

Question 9

intimacy vs isolation

Answer 9

at this time, individuals face the task of forming intimate relationships with others. Erikson describes intimacy as finding oneself yet losing oneself in another person. If young adults form healthy relationships and an intimate relationship with another individual, intimacy will be achieved. If not, isolation will result.

Question 10

What are the three components of love?

Answer 10

passion, intimacy and commitment

Question 11

passion

Answer 11

is a physical and sexual attraction to another.

Question 12

intimacy

Answer 12

is emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship.

Question 13

commitment

Answer 13

is our cognitive appraisal of the relationship and our intent to maintain the relationship even in the face of problems.

Question 14

romantic love (passion and intimacy)

Answer 14

often predominates in the early part of a love relationship. In our culture, romantic love is the main reason we get married.

Question 15

affectionate love (intimacy and commitment)

Answer 15

also called companion love, is the type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person.

Question 16

There is a growing belief that the early stages of love have more romantic ingredients

Answer 16

but as love matures, passion tends to give away to affection, a pattern often found among couples who have been married for many years.

Question 17

consummate love (passion, intimacy and commitment)

Answer 17

highest form of love

Question 18

if passion is the only ingredient in a relationship (with intimacy and commitment love or absent)

Answer 18

we are merely infatuated.

Question 19

if passion and commitment are present but intimacy is not

Answer 19

sternberg calls the relationship fatuous love.

Question 20

advantages to single adults

Answer 20

time to make decisions about one’s life course, time to develop personal resources to meet goals, freedom to make autonomous decisions and pursue one’s own schedule and interests.

Question 21

The percentage of US couples who cohabit before marriage has increased from

Answer 21

approximately 11% in 1970 to almost 60% at the beginning of the 21st century.

Question 22

In the US, cohabiting arrangements

Answer 22

tend to be short-lived, with 1/3 lasting less than a year.

Question 23

Less than 1 out of 10 cohabiting arrangements

Answer 23

lasts five years.

Question 24

It is easier to dissolve a cohabitation relationship than

Answer 24

a divorce.

Question 25

A number of couples view their cohabitation

Answer 25

not as a precursor to marriage but as an ongoing lifestyle. These couples do no want the official aspects of marriage.

Question 26

although cohabitation offers some advantages, it also can produce some problems.

Answer 26

Disapproval from others can place emotional strain on the cohabiting couple, difficulty own property jointly, legal rights on the dissolution of the relationship are less certain than in a divorce.

Question 27

Does cohabiting help or harm the chances that a couple will have a stable and happy marriage?

Answer 27

Couples who cohabited before they became engaged were at greater risk for poor marital outcomes than those who cohabited only after becoming engaged.

Question 28

researchers have found that couples who cohabit before marrying have more negative interaction patterns

Answer 28

prior to marriage than their counterparts who do not cohabit.

Question 29

also the more nontraditional lifestyle of cohabitation may

Answer 29

attract less conventional individuals who are not great believers in marriage

Question 30

The united states is still a marrying society, In 2010

Answer 30

77% of U.S. adults have eventually married at least once and for a little while by the time they were 40 years of age.

Question 31

despite being a marrying society

Answer 31

marriages occur later, the percentage of adults married at any one point in time has declined and divorce is commonplace.

Question 32

in 2011 the average age for a first marriage

Answer 32

climbed to almost 28 yo for men and just over 26 for women.

Question 33

approximately 1/3 of couples become divorced

Answer 33

before their 10th wedding anniversary.

Question 34

on average, a first marriage lasts for approximately 9 years,

Answer 34

a second marriage about 7 years before a divorce.

Question 35

an unhappy marriage increases an individual’s risk of getting sick

Answer 35

by approximately 1/3 and can even shorten a person’s life by an average of 4 years.

Question 36

On the other hand, individuals who are happily married

Answer 36

live longer, healthier lives than divorced individuals or those who are unhappily married.

Question 37

People in happy marriages liekly

Answer 37

feel less physically and emotionally stressed, which puts less wear and tear on a person’s body.

Question 38

marriage may offer a health advantage by

Answer 38

social support and protecting against risks associated with the social isolation.

Question 39

Gottman found that seven main principles determine whether a marriage will work or not

Answer 39

• establishing love maps
• nurturing fondness and admiration
• turning toward each other instead of away
• letting your partner influence you
• solving solvable conflicts: perpetual vs solvable
• overcoming gridlock
• creating shared meaning

Question 40

The divorce rate was increasing annually by 10 percent

Answer 40

but has been declining since the 1980s.

Question 41

while divorce has increased for all socioeconomic groups

Answer 41

those in disadvantaged groups have a higher incidence of divorce.

Question 42

Who are associated with increases in divorce?

Answer 42

young, low education levels, and low income and so too is premartial pregnancy.

Question 43

Once study revealed that half of the women who were pregnant before marriage

Answer 43

did not live with the husband for more than five years

Question 44

if divorce is going to occur it usually

Answer 44

takes place early in a marriage, peaking in the firth to 10th years of marriage.

Question 45

both divorced women and divorced men complain

Answer 45

of loneliness, diminished self-esteem, anxiety about the unknown in their lives and difficulty forming satisfactory new intimate relationships

Question 46

Separated and divorced women and men have higher rates

Answer 46

of psychiatric disorders, admission to psychiatric hospitals, clinical depression, alcoholism and psychosomatic problems, such as sleep disorders, than do married adults.

Question 47

men show only a modest decline

Answer 47

in income following a divorce but women reveal a significant decline in income following a divorce, with estimates of the decline ranging from 25-35%.

Question 48

The complex histories and multiple relationships

Answer 48

make adjustment difficult in a stepfamily. The difficulty of adjusting to life in a stepfamily is borne out by the data. only 1/3 of stepfamily couples stay remarried.

Question 49

Why do remarried adults find it so difficult to stay remarried?

Answer 49

Many remarry not for love but for financial reasons, for help in raising children and to reduce loneliness. They also might carry into the stepfamily negative relationship patterns that resulted in the failure of an earlier marriage. Remarried couples also experience more stress in rearing children than parents in never-divorced families.

Question 50

gay and lesbian adults

Answer 50

researchers have found that gay and lesbian relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships in their satisfactions, loves, joys and conflicts.

Question 51

Parenting consists of a number of interpersonal skills and emotional demands

Answer 51

yet there is little in way of formal education for this task. Unfortunately when methods of parents are passed on from one generation to the next, both desirable and undesirable practices are perpetuated.

Question 52

The needs and expectations of parents have stimulated many myths about parenting:

Answer 52

• the birth of a child will save a failing marriage
• as a possession or extension of the parent, the child will think, feel and behave like the parents did in their childhood.
• children will take care of parents in their old age.
• having a child gives the parents a second chance to achieve what they should have achieved.
• if parents learn the right techniques they can mold their children into what they want.
• it’s the parents fault when children fail
• mothers are naturally better parents than fathers
• parenting is an instinct and requires training.

Question 53

in 2005 the average age at which women gave birth for the first time

Answer 53

was a record high of 25.2 years old, up from 21 in 2001.

Question 54

one child families

Answer 54

are on the increase.

Question 55

fathers are increasing their participation

Answer 55

in household & parenting responsibilities.