Chapter 10 - Intimacy Flashcards
What is intimacy?
emotional attachment between 2 people
“caring, daring, and sharing”
concern for other’s well-being
willingness to disclose honest and sensitive information
sharing of commonalities
NOT the same as intimacy
What did Bowlby suggest about intimacy?
intimacy during adolescence directly related to history of close relationships
particularly attachment in infancy
Describe the strange situation.
infant and caregiver enter unfamiliar room
child explores room with parent watching
stranger enters and approaches
parent leaves briefly, returns and comforts child
3 patterns of response (4th discovered later)
What are the 3 (4) patterns of response to the strange situation?
anxious avoidant
anxious resistant
secure
disorganized
Describe anxious avoidant attachment.
not distressed by separation
avoid contact with caregiver upon return
indifference
results when caregiver is rejecting, distant, or unpleasant
infant:
- cries a lot
- not easily soothed by caregiver
- strong need for security
defends self against rejection by avoiding contact with caregiver after separation, ignoring efforts to interact
Describe anxious resistant attachment.
cautious
stays close to parent in stranger’s presence
distressed by separation but angry and resistant upon return
results when caregiver is unpredictable and not appropriately responsive to baby’s needs
infants want to be close to reduce uncertainty but become frustrated at the inability to predict or control caregiver’s responsiveness
Describe secure attachment.
explore and interact with stranger in caregiver’s presence
distressed by separation, but easily comforted upon return
results when caregiver is accessible, and responds consistently and appropriately
infant comes to expect responsiveness and this trust allows them to explore and accept brief separations
Describe disorganized attachment.
no organized response
odd/ambivalent behaviour
- freezing
show confusion/apprehension
first impulse is to seek comfort but as they approach they are afraid to be close
results when caregiver is unpredictable or abusive
- may act destructively to child’s needs/distress
- parent may be dealing with trauma and can’t respond to child’s needs
How do infant attachments influence adolescent intimacy according to Bowlby?
early attachment relationships form basis for more general models of interpersonal relationships throughout life
- internal working model: set of beliefs and expectations about close relationships
intimacy is cumulative
- experiences build
How does secure attachment in infancy impact adolescence?
develop healthy ideas about relationships (positive internal working model)
more advanced social competencies
allow adolescents to enter into more satisfying intimate relationships
easier to develop trusting relationships when having many positive past ones
How does insecure attachment during infancy impact adolescence?
develop negative internal working model
become more vulnerable/sensitive to rejection in romantic relationships
- rejection sensitivity
choose/find selves in relationships that are unsatisfying
- self-fulfilling prophecy
What does Sullivan say about the emergence of intimacy? (chumships, integration)
intimacy first surfaces in preadolescence through same-sex friendships (chumships)
- learn important skills for later relationships
- private and intimate information
- caring friendships involving honesty, loyalty, and trust
in adolescence, need to learn how to integrate need for intimacy with sexual impulses/desires
- integrate sexuality into already established capacity for intimacy
- shift to romantic relationships
Describe the intimacy vs. isolation phase.
only after a real sense of identity can be established can real intimacy become possible
intimacy = ability to fuse your identity with someone else’s without feeling you will lose something
those with unformed identities will only be able to establish shallow relationships; pseudointimacy
- will experience sense of isolation
essential struggle is risking developing a sense of “we” with others or suffering feelings of isolation
Describe the key difference between Eriksons and Sullivans theories of intimacy.
Erikson: must develop coherent sense of identity before forming genuine intimate relationships with others
Sullivan: development of intimacy precedes development of coherent sense of self
What are some potential sex differences in the development of intimacy?
males:
- self-definition of great importance, development of intimacy a more distant concern
- Erikson’s model may be more applicable
females:
- intimacy fundamental concern, tasks of intimacy and identity more merged
- Sullivan’s model may be more applicable
Describe Gilligan’s findings on female identity development.
development of identity and intimacy is interdependent
women define themselves in terms of their relationships
men define themselves by what they do, are separate from relationships
What are the contemporary views on the development of intimacy and identity?
identity and intimacy are complementary tasks
intertwined and occur together, influence and reinforce each other
not much argument over which comes first
In what ways are adolescent’s relationships more intimate than childrens?
natures/notions of friendship
displays of intimacy
targets of intimacy
How do notions/nature of friendships become more intimate in adolescence?
in childhood, friendships based on proximity and mutual interest
in adolescence, much more based on trust/loyalty
- ideas on what friendship is has expanded
How do displays of intimacy become more intimate in adolescence?
in childhood, intimacy displayed through activities (asking to play)
in adolescence:
- share personal feelings/thoughts
- more knowledgable about their friends
- acknowledge and understand feelings and problems
- resolve conflict by negotiation rather than coercion
- more self-disclosing
How do targets of intimacy become more intimate in adolescence?
childhood: primarily family oriented
early adolescence:
- confidants broaden to include peers
- same sex chumships, platonic and non-romantic
later adolescence:
- expands to include romantic relationships
- more likely to distinguish between close friends and acquaintances
How do intimate relationships with parents and peers differ?
parents
- imbalance of power in exchanges
- receive advice
peers
- more balanced and mutual
- involve equal exchanges (equally likely to give and receive advice)
According to Sullivan’s stages of interpersonal needs, what are the interpersonal needs in preadolescence, early adolescence, and late adolescence?
pre - need for intimacy and consensual validation in chumships
early - need for sexual contact, intimacy with other-sex partner
late - need for integration into adult society
Describe the findings of the adult attachment interview?
structured interview used to assess an individual’s past attachment history and “internal working model” of relationships
most categorize as secure, dismissing, or preoccupied
secure attachments correlated with superior outcomes
What gender is especially susceptible to jealousy over their friend’s friends during early adolescence?
girls
especially girls with low self-esteem and high in rejection sensitivity
What is co-rumination? Who is more likely to engage?
excessive talking with another about problems
can bring friends closer but also contributes to depression and anxiety
girls more likely, possibly due to patterns of socialization
What is machismo?
strong and sometimes exaggerated sense of masculinity
What is the reaffiliation motive?
normal and adaptive motivation which prompts us to reconnect with others when we feel lonely
What is considered a normal shift in intimacy/attachment?
shift in intimacy is normal but shift in primary attachment figure is not
adolescents who report strongest attachments to a friend or romantic partner are more likely to have insecure attachments with their parents
How do sibling relationships change over adolescence?
conflict decreases but also spend less time together compared to childhood
warmth and closeness also decrease
When do friendships with the other sex start to develop?
not until late adolescence
substantial individual differences in patterns of time allocation to same and other-sex relationships
transitional period can be a trying time
- anxieties over being in situations too close to being romantic
- reason for mutual physical playfulness: satisfies normal curiosity about sexual feelings while being ambiguous enough to be denied as motivated by romantic interest
Who is most likely to date in high school? Who are they dating?
very common though percentage that have actually gone on a date has decreased
Asian Americans date more
early maturers
when age norms within school/peer group dictate early dating
those with older siblings
those who are less close with parents or have single mothers
Why do adolescents date?
no longer to do with finding potential spouse
provide context of expression of intimacy for females while intimacy is developing for males
How is adolescent behaviour towards their partners different than young adults?
more negative and controlling
major sources of conflict are jealousy, neglect, betrayal, dishonesty, and trust
What is the impact of early or delayed dating?
early starters and late bloomers both at risk for negative consequences
- poor mental health and self-image
- slowed social development
When is dating “valuable” to social development?
moderate dating
delaying any serious involvement until 15 or so
What are the consequences of breaking up or experiencing an abusive relationship?
mental health and substance use issues
increased likelihood of experiencing or perpetrating violence later in life
