Chapter 10 - Intimacy

Question 1

What is intimacy?

Answer 1

emotional attachment between 2 people

“caring, daring, and sharing”

concern for other’s well-being

willingness to disclose honest and sensitive information

sharing of commonalities

NOT the same as intimacy

Question 2

What did Bowlby suggest about intimacy?

Answer 2

intimacy during adolescence directly related to history of close relationships

particularly attachment in infancy

Question 3

Describe the strange situation.

Answer 3

infant and caregiver enter unfamiliar room

child explores room with parent watching

stranger enters and approaches

parent leaves briefly, returns and comforts child

3 patterns of response (4th discovered later)

Question 4

What are the 3 (4) patterns of response to the strange situation?

Answer 4

anxious avoidant

anxious resistant

secure

disorganized

Question 5

Describe anxious avoidant attachment.

Answer 5

not distressed by separation

avoid contact with caregiver upon return

indifference

results when caregiver is rejecting, distant, or unpleasant

infant:

• cries a lot
• not easily soothed by caregiver
• strong need for security

defends self against rejection by avoiding contact with caregiver after separation, ignoring efforts to interact

Question 6

Describe anxious resistant attachment.

Answer 6

cautious

stays close to parent in stranger’s presence

distressed by separation but angry and resistant upon return

results when caregiver is unpredictable and not appropriately responsive to baby’s needs

infants want to be close to reduce uncertainty but become frustrated at the inability to predict or control caregiver’s responsiveness

Question 7

Describe secure attachment.

Answer 7

explore and interact with stranger in caregiver’s presence

distressed by separation, but easily comforted upon return

results when caregiver is accessible, and responds consistently and appropriately

infant comes to expect responsiveness and this trust allows them to explore and accept brief separations

Question 8

Describe disorganized attachment.

Answer 8

no organized response

odd/ambivalent behaviour
- freezing

show confusion/apprehension

first impulse is to seek comfort but as they approach they are afraid to be close

results when caregiver is unpredictable or abusive

• may act destructively to child’s needs/distress
• parent may be dealing with trauma and can’t respond to child’s needs

Question 9

How do infant attachments influence adolescent intimacy according to Bowlby?

Answer 9

early attachment relationships form basis for more general models of interpersonal relationships throughout life
- internal working model: set of beliefs and expectations about close relationships

intimacy is cumulative
- experiences build

Question 10

How does secure attachment in infancy impact adolescence?

Answer 10

develop healthy ideas about relationships (positive internal working model)

more advanced social competencies

allow adolescents to enter into more satisfying intimate relationships

easier to develop trusting relationships when having many positive past ones

Question 11

How does insecure attachment during infancy impact adolescence?

Answer 11

develop negative internal working model

become more vulnerable/sensitive to rejection in romantic relationships
- rejection sensitivity

choose/find selves in relationships that are unsatisfying
- self-fulfilling prophecy

Question 12

What does Sullivan say about the emergence of intimacy? (chumships, integration)

Answer 12

intimacy first surfaces in preadolescence through same-sex friendships (chumships)

• learn important skills for later relationships
• private and intimate information
• caring friendships involving honesty, loyalty, and trust

in adolescence, need to learn how to integrate need for intimacy with sexual impulses/desires

• integrate sexuality into already established capacity for intimacy
• shift to romantic relationships

Question 13

Describe the intimacy vs. isolation phase.

Answer 13

only after a real sense of identity can be established can real intimacy become possible

intimacy = ability to fuse your identity with someone else’s without feeling you will lose something

those with unformed identities will only be able to establish shallow relationships; pseudointimacy
- will experience sense of isolation

essential struggle is risking developing a sense of “we” with others or suffering feelings of isolation

Question 14

Describe the key difference between Eriksons and Sullivans theories of intimacy.

Answer 14

Erikson: must develop coherent sense of identity before forming genuine intimate relationships with others

Sullivan: development of intimacy precedes development of coherent sense of self

Question 15

What are some potential sex differences in the development of intimacy?

Answer 15

males:

• self-definition of great importance, development of intimacy a more distant concern
• Erikson’s model may be more applicable

females:

• intimacy fundamental concern, tasks of intimacy and identity more merged
• Sullivan’s model may be more applicable

Question 16

Describe Gilligan’s findings on female identity development.

Answer 16

development of identity and intimacy is interdependent

women define themselves in terms of their relationships

men define themselves by what they do, are separate from relationships

Question 17

What are the contemporary views on the development of intimacy and identity?

Answer 17

identity and intimacy are complementary tasks

intertwined and occur together, influence and reinforce each other

not much argument over which comes first

Question 18

In what ways are adolescent’s relationships more intimate than childrens?

Answer 18

natures/notions of friendship

displays of intimacy

targets of intimacy

Question 19

How do notions/nature of friendships become more intimate in adolescence?

Answer 19

in childhood, friendships based on proximity and mutual interest

in adolescence, much more based on trust/loyalty
- ideas on what friendship is has expanded

Question 20

How do displays of intimacy become more intimate in adolescence?

Answer 20

in childhood, intimacy displayed through activities (asking to play)

in adolescence:

• share personal feelings/thoughts
• more knowledgable about their friends
• acknowledge and understand feelings and problems
• resolve conflict by negotiation rather than coercion
• more self-disclosing

Question 21

How do targets of intimacy become more intimate in adolescence?

Answer 21

childhood: primarily family oriented

early adolescence:

• confidants broaden to include peers
• same sex chumships, platonic and non-romantic

later adolescence:

• expands to include romantic relationships
• more likely to distinguish between close friends and acquaintances

Question 22

How do intimate relationships with parents and peers differ?

Answer 22

parents

• imbalance of power in exchanges
• receive advice

peers

• more balanced and mutual
• involve equal exchanges (equally likely to give and receive advice)

Question 23

According to Sullivan’s stages of interpersonal needs, what are the interpersonal needs in preadolescence, early adolescence, and late adolescence?

Answer 23

pre - need for intimacy and consensual validation in chumships

early - need for sexual contact, intimacy with other-sex partner

late - need for integration into adult society

Question 24

Describe the findings of the adult attachment interview?

Answer 24

structured interview used to assess an individual’s past attachment history and “internal working model” of relationships

most categorize as secure, dismissing, or preoccupied

secure attachments correlated with superior outcomes

Question 25

What gender is especially susceptible to jealousy over their friend’s friends during early adolescence?

Answer 25

girls

especially girls with low self-esteem and high in rejection sensitivity

Question 26

What is co-rumination? Who is more likely to engage?

Answer 26

excessive talking with another about problems

can bring friends closer but also contributes to depression and anxiety

girls more likely, possibly due to patterns of socialization

Question 27

What is machismo?

Answer 27

strong and sometimes exaggerated sense of masculinity

Question 28

What is the reaffiliation motive?

Answer 28

normal and adaptive motivation which prompts us to reconnect with others when we feel lonely

Question 29

What is considered a normal shift in intimacy/attachment?

Answer 29

shift in intimacy is normal but shift in primary attachment figure is not

adolescents who report strongest attachments to a friend or romantic partner are more likely to have insecure attachments with their parents

Question 30

How do sibling relationships change over adolescence?

Answer 30

conflict decreases but also spend less time together compared to childhood

warmth and closeness also decrease

Question 31

When do friendships with the other sex start to develop?

Answer 31

not until late adolescence

substantial individual differences in patterns of time allocation to same and other-sex relationships

transitional period can be a trying time

• anxieties over being in situations too close to being romantic
• reason for mutual physical playfulness: satisfies normal curiosity about sexual feelings while being ambiguous enough to be denied as motivated by romantic interest

Question 32

Who is most likely to date in high school? Who are they dating?

Answer 32

very common though percentage that have actually gone on a date has decreased

Asian Americans date more

early maturers

when age norms within school/peer group dictate early dating

those with older siblings

those who are less close with parents or have single mothers

Question 33

Why do adolescents date?

Answer 33

no longer to do with finding potential spouse

provide context of expression of intimacy for females while intimacy is developing for males

Question 34

How is adolescent behaviour towards their partners different than young adults?

Answer 34

more negative and controlling

major sources of conflict are jealousy, neglect, betrayal, dishonesty, and trust

Question 35

What is the impact of early or delayed dating?

Answer 35

early starters and late bloomers both at risk for negative consequences

• poor mental health and self-image
• slowed social development

Question 36

When is dating “valuable” to social development?

Answer 36

moderate dating

delaying any serious involvement until 15 or so

Question 37

What are the consequences of breaking up or experiencing an abusive relationship?

Answer 37

mental health and substance use issues

increased likelihood of experiencing or perpetrating violence later in life