Chapter 10- Interpersonal Attraction: From First Impressions to Close Relationships Flashcards
self-expansion
- desire to blend with another person, so that you have access to that person’s knowledge, insights, and experience
- broadens your own experience
propinquity effect
- the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
- b/c of familiarity
- relationships develop b/c “at the right place at the right time”
what determines attraction and propinquity
- ) physical distance
2. ) functional distance- how often paths cross
familiarity
- mere exposure effect
- more exposure to stimulus, the more we like it
- typically associate positive feelings with familiar things
- breeds attraction
similarity
- match between our demographics, interests, attitudes, values, background, experiences, looks or personality
- more similar -> more attracted
perceived similarity
- degree on how much one believes to be similar to another
- attraction as long as FEEL similar
reciprocal liking
- we like to be liked
- powerful enough to outweigh dissimilar aspects
What determines who we like
- ) propinquity
- ) similarity
- ) reciprocal liking
- ) physical appearance
- ) familiarity
what is attractive
- symmetrical faces
- big eyes
- prominent cheekbones (maturity)
- similar views across cultures
familiarity and propinquity
-people we see frequently become familiar
familiarity and similarity
-people who are more similar to us seem more familiar
familiarity and reciprocal liking
-people who like each other get to know and become familiar with each other
beauty matters proof
- ) more attractive infant is healthier
- ) more attractive candidate wins
- ) more sociable and extroverted
- ) more assertive
self-fulfilling prophecy
-the way we treat people affects how they behave and ultimately perceive themselves
evolutionary approach to make selection
- fitness measured by reproductive success
- symmetrical faces = better genes
- females focus on investment
- males focs on # of mates
definition of love
- includes passionate, giddy feelings
- includes deep, long-term devotion
- both compassionate and passionate
compassionate love
- feelings of intimacy and affection we have for someone
- not accompanied by passion
- experienced in sexual and nonsexual relationships
passionate love
- intense longing for another person
- experience physiological arousal
- strong, uncontrollable thoughts of affection
romantic love across cultures
- we all love, but not in the same way
- individualistic societies make it personal experience
- collectivist societies consider wishes of family/society
attachment styles
- expectations people develop about relationships with others based on relationships they had with primary caregiver
- serve as schemas for future relationships
1. ) secure
2. ) avoidant
3. ) anxious
secure attachment
- caregivers responsive to needs
- positive interactions
- trust
- not worried about abandonment
- more likely to develop lasting relationships
avoidant attachment
- caregivers aloof and distant
- attempt to establish intimacy
- desire to be close to caregiver
- difficult to trust
- hard time developing lasting relationships
- hesitant to rely on others for support
anxious attachment
- caregiver inconsistent w/ affection
- hard to predict when they will respond to needs
- want to be close, but worry of no reciprocation in affection
- find others unpredictable
- fear of rejection
- very difficult to establish long term relationships
social exchange theory
- how people feel about relationship depends on
1. ) perception of rewards
2. ) perceptions of costs
3. ) beliefs on what they think they deserve
4. ) beliefs on whether or not they could do better
rewards of relationship
- gratifying aspects that make relationship worthwhile
- personal characteristics/behaviors
- external resources- money, friends, etc
outcome of relationship
- costs minus rewards
- needs to be positive to last
determinants of relationship satisfaction
- ) rewards and costs
- ) comparison level
- ) comparison level for alternative
comparison level
- what you expect the outcome of your relationship to be in terms of rewards
- high means lots of rewards and few costs
comparison level for alternative
- perception of likelihood that you could replace relationship with a better one
- if low, most likely to stay in relationship b/c fear no other option
investment model
- anything people have put into a relationship that will be lost if they leave it
- finances, time, energy, emotion, integrity
- greater investment -> less likely to leave
predicting if will stay in relationship
- ) how satisfied
- ) are there alternatives
- ) amount of investment
equity theory
- rewards, costs, and contributions should be equal
- if equal -> happy and stable
- prevents uneasiness of under or over-benefitted
exchange relationships
-people keep track of who is contributing what and feel taken advantage of when they feel they are contributing more than the other, but getting less out of it
communal relationship
- partners governed less by equity and more by desire to help each other in times of need
- don’t expect to get “paid back”
- contributions will eventually balance out
four stages of relationship dissolution
- ) intrapersonal
- ) dyadic
- ) social
- ) intrapersonal
intrapersonal beginning dissolution
-think about dissatisfaction of relationship
dyadic dissolution
-discuss breakup with partner
social dissolution
-announce breakup
intrapersonal end dissolution
-recover from breakup and form internal account of how and why it happened
4 behaviors in troubled relationship
- ) actively harming (destructive)
- ) allowing relationship to deteriorate (destructive)
- ) trying to improve (constructive)
- ) remaining loyal (constructive)
* more destructive results in termination
mutual breakup
- each partner effectively plays role of breaker and breakee simultaneously
- more potential for future friendship
- role played is major factor in how breakup is handled
fatal attraction
-qualities in a person that wer once attractive become the qualities that repel and lead to breakup
Melanie doesn’t find it easy to trust other people and says that she “doesn’t need anybody.” In all likelihood, Melanie’s _____ attachment style can be traced to a caregiver who _____
avoidant
aloof and distant
Dave took Jennifer out for an elaborate birthday date, including an expensive gift. However, when Dave’s birthday came, Jennifer gave him some flowers, and told him that she had too much work to do anything special that night. Dave was very upset. Jennifer could not understand his anger; she thought he had given her a gift because he loved her, not because he expected an equal gift in return. Dave believes they are in a (n) _____ relationship whereas Jennifer believes they are in a(n) ______ relationship.
exchange
communal
Lorie’s parents were rather neglectful, and growing up she had an avoidant attachment style. When she starts dating Nick, who is securely attached, what is likely to happen to Lorie?
she may become securely attached over time and with experience
When Leon Festinger and his colleagues studied friendship patterns among married couples in an apartment complex at MIT, they found that people who lived at the foot of the stairs or near mailboxes had more friends on upper floors than did other people who lived on the first floor. This illustrates the power of _____ to influence friendship patterns.
functional distance
Dave is low-skilled in his interpersonal style – he tends to see interactions as simple and focuses on what was accomplished. His partner, Lynn, is high-skilled and tends to focus on the psychological aspects of their conversations. According to information in your text, what is likely to happen between Dave and Lynn?
they are likely to be frustrated with each other b/c they are dissimilar
Claire and Matt are involved in a romantic relationship. Matt has recently given Claire a gold bracelet. Because there was no special occasion, Claire now feels the need to reciprocate the gift. The _____ theory of relationships is most applicable in this case.
equity
Recall that Judith Langlois and her colleagues (1990) used computer graphics to generate composite faces that reflected the exact mathematical average the facial features of a large number of individual photographs. They then asked participants to rate the attractiveness of the composite photograph and the individual photographs that were combined to make up the composite. These researchers found that
participants preferred the composite photo over the individuals
According to research conducted by Robin Akert (1998), what is the single best predictor of how well ex-partners cope in the aftermath of the dissolution of their relationship?
the role they played in the decision to break up
Recall that Elaine Hatfield (Walster) and her colleagues (1966) randomly paired incoming students for a first-year orientation dance. They found that men _____
and women valued physical attractiveness
According to Steve Duck (1982), relationship dissolution doesn’t happen all at once; instead, it is characterized by a series of stages. These stages are, in order:
intrapersonal
dyadic
social
intrapersonal
Ramona cares deeply about Raül, but does not feel any physical arousal towards him. Raül, on the other hand, has feelings of great longing accompanied by physical arousal whenever she’s near. In this situation, Ramona is feeling _____ love for Raül, whereas Raül, is feeling _____ love for Ramona.
companionate
passionate
Which of the following ideas is not consistent with Rusbult’s investment model of commitment?
you commitment, your rewards, and your costs determine your investment in the relationship
Evolutionary theory suggests that
women should be attracted to older, more financially stable men
_____ refers to the notion that the more we encounter a stimulus, the more we grow to like it.
mere exposure
John and Patricia are miserable in their relationship. If John were to use a tactic that is bothe destructive and passive he might
ignore the problem and spend less time with Patricia
People from Asian cultures are more likely to be concerned that _______________ than are North Americans.
their romantic relationship doesn’t disrupt the existing family network
Sheila is considered to be very attractive by both men and women. Which of the following features is she most likely to have?
large eyes
When people are asked to rate the attractiveness of faces, the faces that they most prefer
most resemble their own
People are most likely to associate physical attractiveness with
social competence
Art needs a date for Friday night. All things being equal, who will he be most likely to ask out?
Brittany, who told Art she likes him
Cliff believes that his relationship with Kristi provides as many rewards and as few costs as he expects in a relationship. Cliff considers himself fortunate, because he does not believe that he can get nearly as good an outcome with anyone else. Cliff can be described as having a _____ comparison level and a __________comparison level for alternatives.
high
low
Social exchange theory posits that relationship satisfaction depends on our perceptions of the rewards and cost associated with the relationship, what kind of relationship we believe we deserve, and whether
we believe relationship with someone else would be better
Research suggests that there is _____________ between babies and adults, men and women, and people from several cultures as to what is considered physically attractive.
amazing consistency
According to the authors, the greatest amount of research supports the notion of ______ over the notion of ______.
similarity
complimentarily
The more we see and interact with other people, the more likely they are to become our friends. This statement captures the essence of the ______ effect.
propinquity
