chapter 10 Flashcards
what are the three major ego states?
parent, child, adult
type of parent ego state that uses advising responses that are judgmental, opinionated, demanding, disapproving
critical parent
type of parent ego state that uses reassuring responses that are protecting permitting, consoling, nurturing, etc
sympathetic parent
the two types of parent ego states
critical and sympathetic
type of child ego state that responds to probing style showing curiosity, fun, fantasy, or impulsiveness
natural child
type of child ego state that responds with rebelliousness, pouting, anger, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, or procrastination
adapted child
the two types of child ego states
natural and adapted child
the ego state where responses are rational, calculating, factual, and unemotional; behavior is cool and calm; avoid getting caught up in others’ emotions; and is the most effective behavior
adult ego state
what are the three types of transactions within the ego states
complementary, crossed, and ulterior
type of transaction when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver
complementary
type of transaction when the sender of the message does not get the expected response from the receiver
crossed
type of transaction where the person appears to be in one ego state, but his or her behavior comes from a different ego state
ulterior
what are life positions in human relations?
your attitudes toward yourself and others; “OK” = positive attitude and “Not OK” = negative attitudes
any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence
stroking
strokes can be:
positive (praise) or negative (being hurtful)
the process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way
assertiveness
avoidance of behavior or an accommodation of the party’s wishes without standing up for one’s own rights (comes from the “I’m not OK” life position)
passive behavior
_________ behavior is often based in fear: fear of rejection, retaliation, hurting others, or being hurt
passive
behavior that comes primarily through the adapted child and the critical parent ego states, often through anger
aggressive behavior
the three ways passive-aggressive behavior is displayed
sporadically, situationally, and building up hostility
a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where a person is aggressive one time and passive the next
sporadiaclly
a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where a person is passive during the communication but aggressive later
situationally
a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where after the repeated behavior happens often enough, the passive person becomes aggressive
building up hostility
behavior that comes from the adult ego state and the “I’m OK–you’re OK” life position
assertive behavior
traits of assertive people
not threatened by others, do not let others control their behavior, stay calm, have a positive self-image
what are the steps of assertiveness?
set an objective, determine how to create a win-win, develop assertive phrases, and implement your plan persistently
what are the causes of anger?
frustration, fear, stress, ostracism, bullying, abusive coworkers or supervisors
effects of anger
less productive, can cause anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, and heart problems
how to deal with your own anger
don’t dwell, let it go, be assertive and not passive, develop a positive attitude, use rational thinking, look for positives, etc
how to deal with others anger
keep distance, stay calm, slow down, return hostility with kindness, be empathetic
what to watch to prevent workplace violence:
verbal threats, nonverbal communication, stalking, harassment, and bullying
exists whenever two or more people disagree
conflict
conflict arises when our expectations aren’t being met; we don’t let others know what we expect, we do not find the expectations of others, and we assume everyone’s expectations are the same as ours
psychological contract
what are the five conflict management styles
forcing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and collaborating
conflict style where user attempts to resolve conflicts by using aggression
forcing conflict style
conflict style where user tries to passively ignore the conflict instead of resolving it
avoiding conflict style
conflict style where the user attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving into the other party
accommodating conflict style
conflict style where where the user attempts to resolve through assertive give-and-take concessions
compromising conflict style
conflict style where the user has an assertive attempt to resolve conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties
collaborating conflict style
steps for….
step 1: plan to maintain ownership of problem using XYZ model
step 2: implement your plan persistently
step 3: make an agreement for change
initiating conflict resolution
steps for….
step 1: listen and paraphrase the problem using XYZ model
step 2: agree with some part of the problem
step 3: ask and/or give alternatives
step 4: make an agreement for change
responding to conflict resolution
steps for….
step 1: each party states their side using the XYZ model
step 2: agree on problems
step 3: develop alternative solutions
step 4: make an agreement for change and follow up
mediating conflict resolution steps
