attraction & relationships Flashcards
true or false
people seek out company of others, even strangers in times of stress
true
need to belong is..
fundamental, pervasive, basic human motive.
those with close network of social ties tend to be …
3 evidence:
happier healthier, more satisfied with life that those who are more isolated.
- joy when form social attachments
- distress, anxiety when neglected.
- close network of social ties = higher self esteem than those who are more isolated
condition of people not accepted as fully human by wider society
AKA rejection, exclusion, stigmatization, ostracism defined as =
social death
what is the desire to establish social contact with peers
need for affiliation.
- motivated to establish and maintain optimum balance of social contact
central human motivation for human contact/connection = overlap with another person to access their knowledge, insights, experiences =?
self-expansion
gain information about how to feel from others
cognitive clarity
stress & affiliation
- fear vs embarrased
fearful misery loves company. waiting with others before fearful experiment = reduce negative impact of the situation.
embarrased misery seeks solitude = affiliation has little to offer, more likely to increase stress than reduce it.
therefore misery loves the company of those in the same miserable situation
2 broad ways a relationship may be rewarding. examples of each
directly rewarding: information, status
indirectly rewarding: feels good to be around smart, funny, pretty person.
evolutionary perspective on attraction
patterns of attraction and male selection favour conception, birth, survival of offspring.
- costly for women to reproduce: choose wisely, on someone that will get them healthy kids.
- but maybe society and media have on influence here, and it’s not due to evolution?
what is the single best predictor of attraction?
physical proximity = proximity effect
the more we see and interact with people, the more likely ther are to become our friends
propinquity effects
what is proximity effect:
physical proximity or nearness, influences the friends we make.
architectural design that determines which people you cross paths with most often
functional distance
- MIT experiment, crossed paths with more = more likely to consider each other friends.
more often we are exposed to a stimulus, the more we come to like that stimulus
mere exposure effect.
mere exposure effect?
associate positive feelings with things that are familiar.
negative feelings? more exposure = more dislike.
familiarity can influence self evaluations. = the women who was seen most in class rates most popular, honest, intelligent, attractive.
stimulus can be presented without conscious awareness, mere exposure effect still works tho - effect is stronger when not aware.
- you prefer your mirror image; friends like actual image = like view of face that you normally look at.
relationships online
more comfortable revealing self over internet.
both extrovert and introverts benefit.
make connections quickly, fizzle quickly
idea that extroverted people use internet as an extra tool, and introverted people who may lack social skills, use computers to help them interact in less awk situations
social compensation hypothesis
physical attractiveness & opinion
react more favourably to others who are physically attractive than to those who are not.
true or false: infants do not discriminate between faces considered attractive vs unattractive in their culture
FALSE
3 pieces of evidence that beauty is an objective quality
- agreement
- common features
3 babies preferences
beauty is objective = agreement
regardless of how high their own rating was, rated others the same as other ppl - know whether you are hot or not. know who else is hot or not.
- faces: certain features deemed more attractive than others, high agreement btw ages & cultures
- body: agreement about hot body. men like hourglass figure in women; assoc w reproductive fertility. women like tapering V in men; more muscle than fat. women prefer taller men.
beauty is objective: common features
smooth skin, pleasant features, youthfullness
- average face: people liked composit of faces more than actual faces. assume hottest women are least average, but they’re actually prototypical faces.
- average objects and animals preferred as well.
- symmetry: evolutionarily adaptive = shows biological health, fitness and fertility
beauty is objective: babies preferences
unaffected by culture: babies arent susceptible to society’s views on attractiveness.
but, still spend more time looking at what we consider “attractive” faces.
4 pieces of evidence that beauty is a subjective quality
- people from difference cultures enhance their beauty in very difference ways.
- ideal body shapes vary across cultures, as well as among racial groups within a culture
- standards of beauty change over time
- situational factors can influence judgements of beauty
beauty is subjective: diff cultures - diff enhance
make up, face paint, tattoos etc.
- what one person finds attractive in 1 culture may vary in other cultures. althoguh same on average, individual preference is still present
beauty is subjective: ideal body shapes differ
in places with short food supply, heavy-set ppl deemed more attractive than slender ppl
-within culture: white ppl say heacy set is less attractive. black ppl say there is no difference in attractiveness based on weight.
maybe bc white popln generally has smaller bodies so prefer ingroup to outgroup? maybe white more susceptible to media portrayal.
beauty is subjective: change over tiem
generation to generation there are changes. used to like curvy ladies, not prefer more boy-ish, straight bodied.
beauty is subjective: situational factors
perception of beauty may increase/decrease due to non-physical qualities.
- more likeable if funny, kind, intelligent - seen as attractive.
- when individual satisfied with love towards partner - member of partners sex seen as less attractive.
3 ways blinded by beauty
- inherently rewarding to be in company of aesthetically pleasing
- tendency to associate physical attractiveness with other desirable qualities
- media influences on the bias for beauty
blinded by beauty - inherently rewarded
intrinsic: fMRI study - areas of brain known to activate to rewards activate to facial beauty
extrinsic: when surrounded by beauty: BIRG - seem more attractive when other person is good looking vs when other person is average
the idea that your physical attractiveness may be judge by those you surround yourself with
contrast effect
- surrounded by more attractive - you look more attractive.
- less attractive person, can look less attractive next to them or more attractive next to them.
blinded by beauty: assoc desirable qualities with other desirable qualities
- what is beautiful is good stereotype.
- in fairytales, princess is kind, intelligent & pretty. villain is mean, cruel, ugly
study: watch and rate main characters in movies. more attractive most likely portrayed as virtuous/succesful.
- in fairytales, princess is kind, intelligent & pretty. villain is mean, cruel, ugly
- what implicit message are present in literature? what are we exposing our kids to?
blinded by beauty: media influence
- beauty seen as good, more likley to favour physically attractive applicants over non-attractive.
- watch stereotypical film: significantly more likely to rate attractive applicants higher than non-attractive.
- watch non-stereotypical film: almost equal in rating of attractive and plain applicant. rate attractive higher after both films - but even moreso after stereotypical film
TRUE or FALSE: people who are physically attractive are happier, have higher self-esteem than those who are unattractvie
FALSE
good looking ppl do tend to have what kinda of things?
more friends, better social skills, and more active sex life.
self-fulfilling prophecy maybe?
good looking people are happier and greater self esteem? - why
no. beauty not related to objective measures of intelligence, personality, adjustment or self-esteem.
- - specific nature of the stereotype depends on culture - korea/more collectivist = believe physically attractive are higher in integrity
attributional problems with being good looking
are they rating me well based on my skill or my beauty?
study: first rates self as attractive or not. then wrote essay and were evaluated by person who either can see them or cannot see them.
- unattractive: believed good rating was due to talent. - attractive: believed good rating was due to them being attractive.
the phenomenon that when you’re attractive, better things happen to you
halo effect
cost to beauty - pressure
to maintain one’s appearance.
- in north america, specificallly strong pressure to fit the mold. may be unhealthy consequences..
- women more likely to suffer from “modern mania for slenderness” - more likley to have bulimia, anorexia.
how seeing slim model causes oneself to feel more dissatisfied than when shown neutral model. women more likely than men to suffer from..
modern mania for slenderness
TRUE or FALSE: when it comes to romantic relationships, opposites attract
FALSE
four types of similarity that are most relevant
demographic - age, ses, race, education, height.
attitude - similar views, opinions. slower time course for acquinting. but mre similar in values and opinions = more happy & likely to stay together.
attractiveness:
subjective experience: bonded by joke, reaction to experience. sense of connection - more likely to like each other.
enigma of beauty
how each person modifies their body in different ways. different modifications seen as “attractive” in different cultures
similarity in attachment styles
3 reasons why we like ppl that are similar to us
people more similar in attachment styles, not so much in personality. similar in interpersonal style and communication skills.
- people similar to us will like us
- similar people give social validation
- reward-of-interaction: if person feels same way you do, you enjoy spending time with them.
liking someone who likes us in return.
– self-fulfilling prophecy: only works when?
reciprocal liking. - can come about with self-fulfilling prophecy.- only when like self. negative self concept = more skeptical of others.
similarity doesnt breed attraction rather…
rather dissimilarity enhances avoidance. avoid people who are too different.
- low similarity = indifference towards people
high similarity = attraction, continued contact
people who are different are more exciting to be around
complementarity hypothesis
people tend to become romantically involved with others who are equivalent in their physical attractiveness
matching hypothesis.
- desire person who’s attractiveness level is about same as yours.
why dont opposites attract?
while differences are interesting, exciting. mutual needs are harder to meet. differences become impossible to negotiate.
intimate relationships -3 basic components
feeling of attachment, affection and love
fulfillment of psychological needs
interdependence between partners, each of whom has meaningful influence on other.
3 stages of murstein’s stimulus-value-role theory
stimulus stage: attraction sparked by external attributes such as physical appearance
value stage: attachment is based on similarity of values and beliefs
role stage: commitment is based on performance of such roles as husband /wife.
attachment theory
3 attachment styles = 2 subtypes.
attachment theory: behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents and caregivers.
- secure: trust, lack of concern for abandonment, belief one is worth and loved.
- avoidant: suppression of attachment needs in youth = difficulty trusting, less satisfied.
- subtype: fearful: desire, but avoid bc afraid to trust.
- subtype: dismissive: claim they do not need close relationships
- anxious/ambivalent: not reciprocated desire for intimacy, resulting in higher levels of anxiety. less satisifed and more obsessive in relationship
social exchange theory
- motivated to?
- development assoc w?
intimate marketplace.
- people motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs in their relationships with others
- benefits: companionship, support, sexual gratification.
- costs: conflict, time, sacrifice.
development of relationship assoc w overall level of rewards
– greater reward = more likely to stay together than decline in reward or small rewards.
– honeymoon phase - after few months, more costs come into play. break up f too costly.
comparison level?
average expected outcome in relationships
- higher = expect relationship to be rewarding
low = relationship not expected to be rewarding. someone with low comparison may see a bad relationship as rewarding
eye-share
if otherwise dissimilar, connection at event = more likely to like each other
comparison for alternative
expectations of what would receive in an alternative situation
- higher alternative = less committes, more likely to get out.
- low alternative = more likely to stay.
investment in relatinship increases?
commitment. more contributions, harder to get out . kinda like sunk-cost fallacy.
social exchange theory “equation”
satisfaction - CLalt + investmenrs = commitment
commitment and protecting
- positive illusions
more commitment = more protecting the relationship., more forgiving.
- positive illusions : find redeeming features in partner’s faults - maintain positive perceptions. more idealization = greater satisfaction.
sunk-cost fallacy in relationship
commitment can set up into trap. investment usually determines whether person stays in unhealthy/bad relationship
equity theory
deals with social exchange theory. equity is important so that benefits and contributions is similar for both partners.
equity =/= equality. overbenefitted feel guilty. under-benefitted = resentful, more unpleasant than overbenefitted.
2 types of relationship
exchange relationships
communal relationships
participants expect and desire mutual responsiveness to each other’s needs.
communal relationship
- compensate over time, not concerned about immediate. assumed things will balance out.
participants expect and desire strict reciprocity in their interactions
exchange relationships.
- reward based model. characterized by repayment of benefit cost offset by compensation
lee’s love styles (6)
primary:
- eros (erotic)
- ludus (uncommitted)
- storge (friendship love)
secondary love:
- mania (demanding and possessive)
- pragma (pragmatic love)
-agape (other-oriented, altruistic love)
men vs women – most expressed styles of Lee’s love styles?
male: ludus (uncommitted)
female: storge, pragma, mania
sternbergs triangular theory of love (9)
passion: infatuation
commitment: empty love, devotion
intimacy: liking
passion+commitment = fatuous love
passion+ intimacy = romantic love
commitment + intimacy = companionate love.
passion+ commit+intimate = consummate love
none= absence of love
rubin’s 2 types of love
liking: platonic feeling
loving: romantic partner
hatfield’s 2 types of love
passionate: feelings of intense longing, accompanied by physiological arousal. fear of rejection
companionate love: intimacy, affection felt toward someone with whom our lives are deeply intertwined.
passionate love requires 2 things
heightened state of physiological arousal
belief that this arousal was triggered by the beloved person.
fMRI study of love - what 2 areas activated?
ventral tegmental area. & caudate nucleus. both major reward centres
arousal from one stimulus added or transferred to other stimulus
excitation transfer
gender and love
men fall in love more quickly, believe true love lasts forever, experience love at first sight.
women: practical, friendship-based orientation to lvoe.
* generally there are lots of similarities tho*
culture & love
romantic love has less value in collectivist society. take into account family wishes.
misattribute physiological arousal to passionate love.
excitation transfer
- -even when know where arousal comes from, physiological arousal can still be attributed to attractive person rather than the situation.
- bridge; running*
is diminishment of passionate love inevitable. ?
yes, but not as significantly as thought. obsessional part decreases. romantic aspects of passionate love stays
companionate love
form of affection found between close friends & lovers. - trust, caring, long term commit.
- less intense than passionate. deeper and more enduring. more emotionally involved. more self-disclosure.
passion: arousal :: ??
companionate : self disclosure
TRUE or FALSE: after the honeymoon period consistent decline in levels of marital satisfaction
TRUE
trajectory in spousal satisfaction over time
1st year = marital bliss. increased satisfaction
after 1st year - decline in marital satisfaction= usually assoc w kids.
sharp decline after 8 years - 7 year itch.= not sure what assoc is.
marital satisfaction can increase after kids leave home.
relationship issues - communication and conflict
- negative affect reciprocity = tit-for-tat of negative emotions. at war emotinoally, inability to break cycle.
- demand/withdrawal interactions: men more withdrawn, women more expressive = large difference between communication style = conflict
ways to reduce negative affect
look for rewarding aspects of relationship: marital stability rests on balance between +/- behaviour
- take other’s perspective - allow enhancement of relationship.
change in life satisfaction before and after divorce.
downward trajectory. over time in marriage. 1 year before divorce = lowest. increase in satisfaction as divorce is being settles. increases afterwards but not as high as before.
closeness of relationship?
line between self and other
- more incorporation of partner into self more likely to last, but more distreess if break up.
breaking up
likely long-lasting couple if
- incorporated each other into on’es sense
- become interdependent and have invested into relationship
== intensify stress and making coping more difficult after the relationship
4 strategies to end romantic relationships/friendships
- withdrawal/avoidance
- positive tone
- manipulative strategies
- open confrontation
qualities intialy attractive are reasons why relationship ended.
fatal attractions.
distressed couple
vs satisfied couple
every behaviour is inherent, enduring and irritating.
- satisfied: more forgiving, believe not persistent, believe not global.
more incorporation of other individual into your life. increased satisfaction - will last. but if doesnt last - more distress
inclusion-of the other in the self
