Animal Jokes Flashcards
Bring joy with clever jokes featuring various animals and their characteristics.
What’s that joke about a dog doing magic tricks?
Q: What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A: A Labracadabrador.
Explanation: “Abracadabra” is a word said by magicians when performing a magic trick.
What’s a funny comment to make when you see a squirrel?
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut.
Explanation: Here, the word nut is being used informally to mean “a crazy or eccentric person.”
What’s that joke about a buffalo and his kid?
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
A: Bison.
Tip: Be sure to articulate the two syllables of “bison” individually, so that it sounds equally like “bison” as “bye, son.”
What’s that joke about walking your dog?
I named my dog “five miles,” so that I can say “I walked five miles today.”
What’s that pun about a horse walking into a bar?
A horse walks into a bar.
A scared bartender shouts out in confusion, “Hey?!”
The horse sits down at the bar and says, “You read my mind!’”
Explanation: Here, the word hey has a double meaning. Hay is grass, legumes, or other herbaceous plants that are used as animal fodder, whereas hey is a common salutation.
What’s that pun about brie cheese?
Q: Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
A: There was nothing left but de’ Brie.
Tip: Make sure “de’ Brie” sounds closely like “debris” (i.e. rubble).
What’s that joke about a dog chasing bikes?
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Explanation: This joke exploits the double-meaning of “chase people on a bike”, implying that I’d meant my dog was riding a bike while chasing people.
What’s that joke about cow hooves?
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose.
Tip: Articulate the phrase “lack toes” in a way that sounds almost like “lactose.”
What’s that joke about a terrible zoo?
I went to a zoo once…
But the only animal they had was a dog.
It was a shit zu.
Explanation: A shih tzu is a type of dog, but to execute this joke well, it should be pronounced more like shit zoo.
What’s that joke about a horse getting up after a fall?
Q: What did the horse say when he tripped?
A: Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up.
What’s that joke about a chicken and a ghost?
Q: Why did the chicken go looking for ghosts?
A: To get to the other side.
Explanation: “The other side” is a common phrase for “the other dimension”, where ghosts and spirits live.
What’s that joke about watchdogs?
My brother has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex.
They are watchdogs.
What’s a funny comment to make when you see a toad?
Listen closely .. that frog looks like he’s tapping something with his foot.
I think it’s morse toad!
What’s that joke about down feathers?
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t. You get down from a goose.
Explanation: The down of birds is a layer of fine feathers found under the tougher exterior feathers.
What’s that joke about bees in the winter?
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?
Swarm.
Tip: Be sure to pronounce “swarm” similarly enough to “it’s warm” to emphasize the double entendre.
