02/03/2023 Flashcards
When Jay asks me a question, don’t …?
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on what?
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked …?
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I …?
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself.
It is understandable, after how many times I felt my emotions were invalidated, but this causes problems, arguments and makes Jay feel MUCH worse.
Jay means EXACTLY what he …?
Jay means EXACTLY what he asks
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself.
It is understandable, after how many times I felt my emotions were invalidated, but this causes problems, arguments and makes Jay feel MUCH worse.
Jay means EXACTLY what he asks.
In his question, is the possibility that I am still …?
In his question, is the possibility that I am still remorseful
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself.
It is understandable, after how many times I felt my emotions were invalidated, but this causes problems, arguments and makes Jay feel MUCH worse.
Jay means EXACTLY what he asks.
In his question, is the possibility that I am still remorseful.
That’s why he is asking - to do what?
That’s why he is asking - to find out
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself.
It is understandable, after how many times I felt my emotions were invalidated, but this causes problems, arguments and makes Jay feel MUCH worse.
Jay means EXACTLY what he asks.
In his question, is the possibility that I am still remorseful.
That’s why he is asking - to find out.
Even if he believed I wasn’t, him asking and my answer (being clear, concise and making sense) and reaction (not getting defensive, actually answering his question and it making sense, showing up, with honesty about how I am feeling and vulnerability) is what will …?
Even if he believed I wasn’t, him asking and my:
1. Answer (being clear, concise and making sense)
2. Reaction (not getting defensive, actually answering his question and it making sense, showing up, with honesty about how I am feeling and vulnerability)
is what will change his mind
When Jay asks me a question, don’t interpret them - only focus on the question he has asked, the words he has said.
Like when Jay just asked why my tone of voice doesn’t sound remorseful and I started talking about how there have been times …, because I was defending myself.
It is understandable, after how many times I felt my emotions were invalidated, but this causes problems, arguments and makes Jay feel MUCH worse.
Jay means EXACTLY what he asks.
In his question, is the possibility that I am still remorseful.
That’s why he is asking - to find out.
Even if he believed I wasn’t, him asking and my answer (being clear, concise and making sense) and reaction (not getting defensive, actually answering his question and it making sense, showing up, with honesty about how I am feeling and vulnerability) is what will change his mind and then I can reassure him and give him love and care
Even if he believed I wasn’t, him asking and my:
1. Answer (being clear, concise and making sense)
2. Reaction (not getting defensive, actually answering his question and it making sense, showing up, with honesty about how I am feeling and vulnerability)
is what will change his mind and then I can reassure him and give him love and care
Jay will word things in ways that are less critical, but sometimes he won’t because of how he feels.
I need to do what?
I need to:
1. Understand him, by listening intently to every single word he says and paying attention.
2. Show up for him
3. Then reassure him
Whenever Jay asks me anything or is triggered, even when really, really triggered, he is just asking for what?
Whenever Jay asks me anything or is triggered, even when really, really triggered, he is just asking for:
1. Reassurance
2. Care
3. Love
