What do you say after you say, Hello? Flashcards
3 Ego States of Every Human Being
Each human being exhibits 3 types of ego states. The sum of these states equals the persons personality and all that he will think, fee, say, or do.
a. The Parent- derived from parental figures. He feels, thinks, acts, talks, and responds just as one of his parents did when he was little.
b. The Adult- he appraises his environment objectively, and calculates its possibilities and probabilities on the basis of past experience. It functions like a computer
c. The Child- the little girl who feels, thinks, acts, talks, and responds just the way he did when he was between 2 and 5 years old. It is important for him to understand his child and it is also the most valuable part of his personality.
We can interact with each other while different ego states are active.
Humans NEED to be loved
**People have, stimulation hunger, this is the need to be stimulated in life (this explains why people prefer cocktail parties vs. being by themselves or why roller coasters make a lot of money. People also have, recognition hunger, which is where we need special sensations which can only be fulfilled by other human beings. **For humans and monkeys, mother milk is not enough, they need the warmth, love, and tenderness of Mother or else they wither away. The 3rd need is, structure hunger, which is why groups tend to grow into organizations.
The Games we play
Rituals, are interactions that are the safest forms of social interactions which are predictable, i.e. activities, work, past times. Another form of social interaction is, Games. These are a set of ulterior transactions, repetitive in nature, with psychological and feeling payoffs.
Genuine Intimacy
Bilateral intimacy is defined as candid, game free relationship, with mutual free giving and receiving and without exploitation.
Definition and explanation of, Script
Scripts- a preconscious life plan. He structures longer periods of time- months, years, or his whole life- filling them with ritual activities, pastimes, and games which further the script while giving him immediate satisfaction. Everyone lives their lives according to a script (ones that are themed for, “winners,” “losers,” “good guys,” “bad guys,” etc. People can live their lives according to scripts that are deemed pleasurable or where they are “the winner”, as well, but it is not good. If you change your lines within your script or choose a different one, you can alter your script. You must behave spontaneously and be a real person. You cannot live by a script of any kind, and be happy and successful.
How you consciously or unconsciously further your Script
**You gravitate toward people who fit your script and other people gravitate toward you because you fit their script. ***If you meet someone who does not fit your script, then you feel flustered with the person and do not know what to say after you say Hello because the person does not fit your script. If the person fits your script (or you fit theirs) then suddenly you know what to say and do, and you feel comfortable, because the person fits in to your model of prescribed living. If your script calls for killing a king and marrying his queen, he has to find a king whose script calls for being killed and a wife whose script is to leave him for his killer. Life script scenes have to be set up and motivated ahead of time, just like theatrical scenes. For example, “running out of gas”. This is set up 2 or 3 days in advance by looking at the gauge, “planning” to get gas “sometime soon,” and then not doing it. The only time you could authentically run out gas is if something goes wrong with your car gauge unexpectedly. **Winners (those without scripts) go a whole lifetime without ever running dry.
Human beings follow Scripts from fairy tales and myths
Human beings follow the same similar scripts from popular myths and fairytales that have existed since the beginning of man because of its universal appeal to the primitive layers of the human mind. **Relating the patient’s life or his Child’s plan to a coherent myth or story that has survived for thousands of years can give precise clues as to what needs to be done to avert or change a bad ending (if you are following a predictable pattern a.k.a. myth, you can be stopped because your behavior and motives are now predictable and you can make a conscious decision to change your mind).
Definition and Explanation of the term, Transactional Analysis
Transactional analysists in psychology is the study of the life scripts that people devise for themselves. The life of man is made to fit into the 5th act much like character drawn by a good dramatist. Every phenomenon can only be grasped and understood if regarded as a preparation for some goal and life plan. In other words, the person draws up their own dramatic play.
The gene is softening over time, creating consciousness
DNA is evolving into ever softer and more pliable forms. It started out as the brittle gene molecules, which cannot be molded, but it thawed out enough so that it could be slightly altered by repeated gentle blows of conditioning. Then it softened still more so that it could record the echoes of vanished voices and events , long after they were forgotten. In still more flexible form, it created memory and consciousness. It its most sensitive form to date, it gives us thinking and invention (capable to monkeys, apes, humans, and dolphins). What will come forth when it becomes even more delicate in its responses, none of us are sure at the moment.
Character themes
Similar to common running themes in movie plot lines, we run through common character themes in our lives. For example, “The Spouseless, spinster”…if a mother has a script of being a spouseless, spinster in her old age, she will rear one of her children with a script to take care of her in her old age and the other four children will play the script of the ingrate children who do not live with them.
The Razor’s Edge
The “Razor’s Edge”, is an expression that states that you are never far off from winning you are right on the edge (the razor’s edge). There is not much difference from those who are winning and losing. You have to simply make a commitment to completion. If you do, that is what gets you past the Razor’s edge to success. It is so simple.
Antiscript
An antiscriipt is where the person is doing the exact opposite of what their childhood script is. Where the Mother says, drink, he does not drink. Where the Mother says do well in school, he dorps out. Where the Mother says don’t fall in love with any girl, he gets married. You are still bound by the script but you are simply doing the exact opposite. He is programmed to disobey rather than to follow the directives. This rebellion is a illusion of freedom.
