The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Question 1

fundamental result of neuroscience

Answer 1

We are what we focus on

Question 2

2010 study

Answer 2

Everytime we have something on on our mind, we are literally using up energy.

Question 3

The kickstart question

Answer 3

What’s on your mind?

Question 4

No james bond movie

Answer 4

starts off slowly. Starts off with an action scene.

You don’t need a runway to pick up speed. You can just take off.

Question 5

If you need a lead in phrase do

Answer 5

“out of curiosity, {QUESTION}?”

no need to set up the question, frame it etc.

Question 6

“best coaching question in the world”.

Answer 6

“The AWE question”. “And What Else”? With seemingly no effort creates more.

Question 7

“best coaching question in the world”.

Answer 7

“The AWE question”. “And What Else”? With seemingly no effort creates more.

Question 8

the first answer someone gives you

Answer 8

is rarely the real answer and almost never the best answer

this is less obvious than you realize

Question 9

Heath. Paul Nutt study

Answer 9

71% of decisions: the choice preceding the decision was binary. “Should we do this or should we not”.

Decisions made from these binary choices had a failure rate of >50%

Having at least 3 options lowered failure rate to ~30%.

More and better options leads to better decisions

Question 10

Paul Nutt

Answer 10

may know more than anyone else alive about how managers make decisions

Question 11

The coaching habit published year

Answer 11

2016

Question 12

if this book was a haiku

Answer 12

tell less and ask more
your advice is not as good
as you think it is

Question 13

why do we like giving advice instead of asking questions?

Answer 13

because our brains are wired for comfort and security. They don’t like the ambiguity of asking questions. Our minds leap to finding an answer (whether the answer is correct or not). ( I’m guessing this is an energy saving/caching mechanism)

Question 14

1984 Beckman and Franklin study

Answer 14

average time to interruption for doctors is 18 seconds

author of book anecdotally says managers and leaders have a similar average

Question 15

When you need a moment or two to figure things out what can you do?

Answer 15

ask “And what else?” to buy yourself some time.

Question 16

You can’t just ask the question. What else do you have to do?

Answer 16

Ask it with genuine interest and curiosity. Or else it will end up boring.

Question 17

Second other thing to know about what else?

Answer 17

Ask it again. Usually more than 3 times. Less than 5.

Question 18

When someone says “there is nothing else”

Answer 18

This is the response you are looking for. You can go on to another question.

Question 19

A variation of AWE

Answer 19

“Is there anything else?” . leaves door open to continue but to also move on.

Question 20

The focus question

Answer 20

“What’s the real challenge here for you?”

Question 21

bad ways to ask the focus question

Answer 21

“What’s the challenge”. “What’s the real challenge”.