Slides Session 7

Question 1

Sternberg’s triangular model of love

Answer 1

This theory suggests that each love relationship is made up of three basic components that are present in varying degrees in different couples

One component is intimacy—the closeness two people feel and the strength of the bond that holds them together.
Intimacy is essentially companionate love. Partners high in intimacy are concerned with each other’s welfare and happiness, and they value, like, count on, and understand one another.

The second component, passion, is based on romance, physical attraction, and sexuality—in other words, passionate love. Men are more likely to stress this component than women

The third component, decision/commitment, represents cognitive factors such as the decision that you love and want to be with the other person plus a commitment to maintain the relationship on a permanent basis.

When all three angles of the triangle are equally strong and balanced, the result is consummate love—defined as the ideal form, but something difficult to attain.
Other forms are: 
Romantic love (intimacy and passion)
compassionate love (intimacy and commitment)
Fatuous love (passion and commitment)

Question 2

What is affiliation and why do we do it?

Answer 2

1. The need for affiliation (a basic motive to seek and maintain interpersonal relationships) seems to be very basic in our psychologucal make-up
2. It may have a neurobiological basis
   - -> e.g. babies are born with the predisposition to look at faces, it is suggested that affiliation is a basic need such as hunger.
3. From an evolutionary perspective, it also makes sense
   - -> it increases the changes of humans obtaining food and surviving danger

Question 3

What are different sources of liking each other?

Answer 3

A. Internal Sources of liking each other
- Our initial feelings of liking or disliking others also stem from internal sources – our basic needs, motives and emotions

1. The importance of affiliation in human existence and the need to belong
2. The role of moods (affect) in liking others

B. External Sources of liking each other

1. Proximity
2. Familiarity
3. Observable Characteristics

C. Sources based on social interaction

1. Similarity
2. Reciprocal Liking
3. Social Skills
4. Personality
5. One’s Desire

Question 4

Internal Sources of liking each other

Answer 4

Our initial feelings of liking or disliking others also stem from internal sources – our basic needs, motives and emotions

1. The importance of affiliation in human existence and the need to belong

• The need for affiliation is a
  (a) basic motive to seek and maintain interpersonal relationships,
  (b) may even have a neuro-biological basis and
  (c) makes sense from an evolutionary point of view.
  (d) if these needs are not met, it is hurtful
  (e) there are individual differences, which may relate to attachment styles, experiences and genetics.
  (f) social exclusion leads to increased sensitivity to interpersonal information and result in less effective cognitive functioning
  (g) social influence can temporarily boost or reduce affiliation needs

2. The role of moods (affect) in liking others
   - affect can have a direct (behaviour of the person) or indirect (classical conditioning, simply being present) effect on liking someone

(a) Positive affect leads to positive evaluations of others and results in liking them
(b) Negative affect leads negative evaluations of others and results in disliking them
(c) affect can be manipulated (e.g. advertising).

Question 5

External sources of liking someone

Answer 5

1. Proximity
   - determines awareness, interaction and then attraction –> The more we see someone, the more we like them.

• The “mere exposure effect” theory (Zajonc, 1968) states that repeated exposure to any mildly negative, neutral or positive stimulus results in an increase in positive evaluation (a liking) of that stimulus (person)

2. Familiarity
   - The more we see someone, the less uncomfortable we are around them, the more we like them
3. Observable Characteristics
   (a) Physical Attractiveness
   majority : physical attractiveness
   People considered attractive are responded to positively in many situations and believed to have many positive traits more than less attractive people
   - “What is beautiful is good effect”- We want to socialize with them
   - “Appearance-rejection sensitivity” – a concern about our appearance and a fear that others will reject us because we don’t measure up
   (b) Nice Clothes
   (c) Walking style

Question 6

Sources based on social interaction

Answer 6

1. Similarity
   - Similarity hypothesis – Similarity is often the basis for friendship
   - The similarity-dissimilarity effect - focused on the importance of attitude similarity – people liked those with similar attitudes more than those with dissimilar attitudes
   - Proportion of similar attitudes – the higher the percentage of similar attitudes the more they liked each other
   - -> Balance theory
   - -> Social comparison Theory
   - -> Adaptive response
2. Reciprocal Liking
   Almost everyone wants to be liked and we enjoy being evaluated positively
   The effects of reciprocity – treating others the way they treat us
   Therefore, we use tactics like those used in impression formation to get people to like us
3. Social Skills
   – A combination of aptitudes that help individuals who possess them to interact effectively with others
   - This skill increases peoples liking of us, job opportunities and greater success in romance
   Social astuteness – a capacity to perceive and understand others

Interpersonal influence – Ability to change others attitudes and behaviours

Social adaptability – Can manage in different social settings and mix with different people

Expressiveness – ability to express emotions appropriately

4. Personality
BIG FIVE (personality) THEORY: there are 5 broad aspects of personality namely; openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, extraversion and emotional stability
People high in agreeableness and extraversion are viewed as likable and rated higher on interpersonal attractiveness by others 
- Narcissists are only initially liked by others but not for long

5. One’s Desire
   There are certain traits that we value in all our relationships namely; trustworthiness, cooperativeness, agreeableness and extraversion.

Question 7

WHY IS SIMILARITY IMPORTANT?

Answer 7

A) the effect of similarity and dissimilarity on attraction can be explained by the balance theory.
It is tested by
1.) a person’s liking for someone
2.) her attitude about a given topic
3.) the one person’s perceived attitude about the same topic

B) Social comparison theory
We compare ourselves to others to gauge the accuracy of our attitudes and behaviour. Perceived similarity then confirms our good taste

C) Adaptive response – we are programmed to dislike those different from us to survive (evolutionary approach), which may explain prejudice and discrimination

Question 8

Explain attachment styles

Answer 8

• During Infancy, close relationships are mainly formed with parents and sibling.
• During that time children acquire 2 basic attitudes:
  1. Self-esteem
  2. Interpersonal trust
• These attitudes can either be high or low and result in 4 different attachment styles:

1. Secure attachment
   High Interpersonal trust
   High Self-esteem
   –> Able to form lasting relationships
2. Fearful-avoidant attachment style
   Low Interpersonal trust
   Low Self-esteem
   –> Avoid relationships all together
3. Preoccupied attachment style
   High Interpersonal trust
   Low Self-esteem
   –> Need for relationships but prone for depression
4. Dismissing Attachment Style
   Low Interpersonal trust
   High Self-esteem
   –> Know they deserve a good relationship but are fearful of others

• Attachment styles are fairly stable but can change with relationship experience