Problem 8 Affiliation and love Flashcards
How are relationships formed?
- Warmth-trustworthiness – showing care and intimacy
- Vitality-attractiveness – signs of health and productive fitness
- Status-resources – being socially prominent and financially sound
- Evolutionary attraction
Social exchange
People often use a from of everyday economics when they weigh up costs and reward when deciding what to do (relationship market place)
Parts of social exchange
o Cost-reward ratio: Liking for another is determined by calculating what it will cost to be reinforced by that person
o Minimax strategy: We try to minimise the costs and try to maximise the reward that come with a relationship
o Profit: When the rewards are more significant in a relationship compared to the costs
o Comparison level: A standard we gained over time (former experience) which tells us if a new relationship is profitable or not (can be negative an positive)
The need to affiliate
The urge to form connections and make contact with other people
Isolation and anxiety
Being alone (isolated) increases anxiety, in other words company reduces anxiety →other people might serve as distraction or as an instrument for social comparison
Proximity
do they live or work close by?
→important in early status in forming relationships (accessible so little effort)
Familiarity
do we feel we know them?
→when we become more familiar with a stimulus, we feel more comfortable with it and we like it more (mere-exposure effect) (less is more effect when you get to know a person better it can happen that you discover more and more features you don’t like so you dislike the person)
Physical similarity can increase in a relationship
Similarity
are they people who like us?
→similarity of attitudes is one of the most important positive, psychological determinations of attraction
Assortative mating
A non-random coupling of two individuals based on their similarity on one or more characteristics
Self-disclosure
The sharing of intimate information and feelings with another person (important for long term intimacy)
→important base for trust
Partner-regulation
Strategy to encourage a partner to fulfil an ideal standard of behaviour
Equity theory
A special case of social exchange that defines a relationship as equitable when the ratio of inputs and outputs are seen to be same by both partners
→a mutual exchange of resources (marriage)
→an exchange where limited resources must be distributed
→distributive justice (fairness of an outcome)
Social support network
People who know and care about us and can provide back-up in difficult times
Three factors that contribute an ongoing relationship
- Personal dedication: positive attraction to a particular partner and relationship
- Moral commitment: a sense of obligation, religious duty or social responsibility controlled by values and moral principles
- Constraint commitment: factors that make it costly to leave a relationship
Commitment
The desire or intention to continue an interpersonal relationship. These factors feed into commitment:
- Strong psychological attachment.
- A long-term orientation
- An intention to persist
Differences of gender in relationships
- Men see love more as a game
* Women are more friendship orientated and pragmatic but also more possessive (parent potential)
Seeing red
The colour red makes a women more attractive for a man
The hourglass figure
Men prefer women who have an hourglass figure but there are differences in culture (thin or thick women are more attractive)
Averageness effect
Humans have evolved to prefer average faces over faces with unusual or distinctive features
Hormonal markers
Feminine faces are preferred by women and men (women like different faces depends on which kind of men the women looks for long term or short term
Reinforcement-affect model
Model of attraction that which states that we like people who are around when we experience a positive feeling (reinforcement)
→associating people with positive feelings like e.g. dogs associate a certain stimulus with food
Social deprivation(sozialer Entzug)
o Hospitalism: A state of apathy and depression noted among institutionalised childs/babys deprived (beraubt) of close contact with a caregiver
→ a mother is the first link in the chain of the babies experience of socialisation
Attachment behaviour
The tendency of in infant to maintain a close physical proximity with the mother/main caregiver (infants tend to stay close to their mother)
Attachment styles
Description of the nature of peoples close relationships, thought to be established in childhood
- Securely attached: find it easier to get close to others, enjoy long lasting relationships, have a feeling of energy and willingness so explore their social and physical environment
- Avoidantly attached: less comfortable with being close with others, more likely to be jealous and less likely to disclose, more likely to be unfaithful, more likely to generate fight-flight schemas when threatened, less likely to be empathically accurate when interpreting the thoughts and feelings of strangers
- Anxiously attached: fall in love more easily, experience more up and downs in their relationship and are more often unhappy, are often more vigilant to possible threat, show hurt feelings that transform threat into guild in their partner, yet they do not succeed in forming a satisfying relationship
Emotion-in-relationship model
close relationships provide a context that elicits strong emotions due to the increased probability of behaviour interrupting interpersonal expectations.
Love
A combination of strong emotions, thoughts and actions which are often associated with intimate relationships
→love adds the element of trust, being in love adds sexual desire and excitement
o Passionate (romantic) love: State of intense absorption in another person involving physiological arousal
o Companionate love: The caring and affection a person that usually arises from spending time together
Three-factor theory of love
- A cultural determinant that acknowledges love as a state
- A presence of an appropriate love object – in most cultures, the norm is a member of the opposite sex and similar age
- Emotional arousal, self-labelled love, that is when interacting with, or even thinking about, an appropriate love object
Consummate love
Sternbergs argues that the ultimate love involves passion, intimacy and commitment
Michelangelo effect
Manipulate the self-concept of the partner to create more similarities
Relationship dissolution model
Ducks proposal of the sequence through most long-term relationships proceed if they brake up
- Intrapsychic phase: the hope of putting things right. Can lead to needling the partner and talking to a third person about your concerns
- Dyadic phase: Some action should be taken, two person decision. Contains talking about difficulties and problems
- The social phase: The relationship is near an end so they may start with compromising. Each social network will take a side and will sanction the dissolution
- Grave dressing phase: can involve more than leaving the partner. May include the division of property and working to assure ones reputation. Public distribution of own version
Attractiveness
Among women positive correlation between ones own attractiveness and that of ones best friend
Sexual competition
Competition between you and another person interested in the same sex when it comes to finding a partner
Love activate VTA
The reward part of the brain is activated so it brings you the same experience as taking cocaine or drinking alcohol
Immunsystem
we can smell and taste the MHC system of others if its different to yours the person is considered as a good kisser
Good smell
good smell is based of the MHC system of another person we want to have a partner with a different MHC system so that our potential children have the most effective MHC system
