Module 19: Listening Actively Flashcards
Listening
Means decoding and interpreting both verbal and non-verbal symbols, as the speaker intends them
Good listening is active because, to truly tune in to another person, we must
Focus on accurately interpreting the speaker’s words, gestures, and tone in the moment
Reduce physical, emotional, and psychological distractions
Clear our minds of our own preoccupations and biases
What Do Good Listeners Do?
They prepare by using PAIBOC to analyze the situation. Then they consciously follow four practices.
After analyzing the listening situation,
good listeners pay attention, focus on the other speaker(s) in a generous way, avoid making assumptions, and listen for feelings as well as for facts.
Good listeners
use enlightened self-interest to block out the noise inside their heads. They focus on the message, not on the messenger’s shortcomings.
Focus on the content, on what the speaker says, not his or her appearance or delivery
Spend time evaluating what the speaker says, not just planning a rebuttal
Consciously work to learn something from every speaker
You avoid listening errors caused by faulty assumptions when you
Focus on the other person’s background and experiences. Why is this point important to the speaker? What might he or she mean by it? How can its importance to the speaker benefit you?
Politely query instructions you think are unnecessary. Before you do something else, check with the order giver to see if there is a reason for the instruction.
Paraphrase what the speaker has said, giving him/her a chance to correct your understanding.
You can learn to avoid listening errors caused by focusing solely on facts by
Consciously listening for feelings
Paying attention to tone of voice, facial expression, and body language
How Do I Make Good Listening Active?
Active listening includes feeding back the literal meaning, or the emotional content, or both.
In active listening
receivers actively demonstrate that they’ve heard and understood by feeding back to the speaker either the literal meaning or the emotional content, or both. Other techniques in active listening include asking for more information and stating your own feelings.
After listening without interrupting, use these five strategies to create active responses.
Paraphrase the content. Suggest the meaning, as you understand it, in your own words.
Mirror the speaker’s feelings. Identify the feelings you think you hear.
State your own feelings neutrally. This strategy works especially well when you are angry (Module 20).
Ask for information or clarification.
Ask how you can help.
Benefits to active listening
Active listening is essential to providing the feedback necessary for true meaning exchange (Module 2).
Active listening enables you to identify and solve problems.
Active listening helps you identify what motivates the speaker, since you must really pay attention to understand someone else’s point of view
How Do I Show People That I’m Listening to Them?
Acknowledge their comments in words, in non-verbal symbols, and in actions.
conversation regulators
nods, uh-huhs, smiles, frowns—also help carry the message that you’re listening.
Can I Use These Techniques If I Really Disagree with Someone?
Truly listening to someone opens the door to understanding.
Most of us do our worst listening when:
We are in highly charged emotional situations, such as talking with someone with whom we really disagree, getting bad news, or being criticized
