LECUTRE 8: RELATIONAL MAINTENANCE Flashcards

1
Q

Relational Maintenance

A
  • Keeping relationship going & satisfied
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2
Q

Relational Maintenance refers to what part of the relational pyramid?

A

Integrating > bonding > Differentiating > circumscribing

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3
Q

7 Relational Maintenance Strategies

A
Positivity 
Openness
Assurances
Social Networks 
Sharing Tasks
Conflict Management 
Joint Activities
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4
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Positivity

A

Refers to the kinds of behaviors that we engage in that let’s our partner know we’re excited/happy etc. to see them/be around them

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5
Q

Positivity has a ____ correlation with high relational satisfaction

A

STRONG

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6
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Openness

A

Basically self-disclosure

Sharing what you’re thinking/feeling about life with your partner

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7
Q

Openness has a _____ relationship with satisfaction

A

Curvilinear

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8
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Assurances

A

The things we say/do that communicate to our partners that we are not going anywhere
- Communicating that we’re committed

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9
Q

Assurances has a _____ _____ correlation relational commitment

A

Strong POSITIVE

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10
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Social Networks

A

Willing to invest and spend time with your partner’s social networks

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11
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Sharing Tasks

A

Willing to help people out when needed, like favors

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12
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Conflict Management

A

Willing to engage in the conflict

Try to work out the conflict in the best way possible

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13
Q

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Joint Activities

A

Doing/spending time together

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14
Q

Primary Love STYLES (2)

A

Passionate

Companionate

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15
Q

Passionate Love

A

State of extreme absorption
Intense feelings all over
Usually comes on quickly….but also can fade just as fast

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16
Q

Companionate Love

A

Friendly/deep affect
Less intense
Endures after passion evaporates

17
Q

Primary Love TYPES (3)

A

Eros
Storge
Ludus

18
Q

Eros

A

Similar to passionate love
Tend to have > relational satisfaction
- Passion, Chemistry, Excitement

19
Q

Storge

A

Friendship Love
Compatibility
Can be boring

20
Q

Ludus

A

Those who enjoy the chase over the conquest

Game players

21
Q

Secondary Love TYPES (3)

A

Mania
Agape
Pragma

22
Q

Mania

A

Eros + Ludus

  • High passion and game playing put together
  • Think of a roller coaster
  • A lot of distrust
  • High degree of jealousy/possessiveness
23
Q

Agape

A

Storge & Eros

  • Unconditional Love
  • Agape love = Jesus love (1 Corinthians 13)
  • Putting other’s love before your own
  • Can be bad –> pedestal effect
24
Q

Pragma

A

Storge & Ludus

  • Thought out on what you want
  • Thing of the checklist in Ugly Truth
  • High degree of companionability
  • Can be boring if no sign passion is on the list
25
Q

Relational Dialectics Theory

A
  • The concept of contradiction
  • Things exist in opposition
  • Tensions exist in our relationships pulling us apart
26
Q

Dialectics (Tensions) (3)

A

Autonomy > Togetherness
Novelty > Predictability
Expressive > Protective

27
Q

Autonomy vs. Togetherness

A

Autonomy = sense of self
Togetherness = everything you do, you do as a couple
You and your partner = in different places –> Must negotiate

28
Q

Novelty

A

Everything is new
Don’t know what’ll happen next
Behaving differently than you’re used to

29
Q

Two ways you can RESPOND to dialectical tensions (don’t always work)

A

Destructively

Constructively

30
Q

Responding DESTRUCTIVELY to dialectical tensions

A

Denial

Disorientation

31
Q

Destructive response to dialectical tensions: Denial

A

The inability to see that there is a problem present

Ignoring the issue

32
Q

Destructive response to dialectical tensions: Disorientation

A

Freaking the fuck out
Lashing out
Fleeing the relationship
Incapable of dealing with the issue

33
Q

Responding CONSTRUCTIVELY to dialectical tensions

A

Spiraling Alteration
Segmentation
Balance
- All suggest how we are willing to make the relationship work

34
Q

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Spiraling Alteration

A

Moving back and forth between autonomy and togetherness as a way to keep the relationship going

35
Q

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Segmentation

A

Compartmentalizing the relationship

Carve out things in the relationship to meet needs

36
Q

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Balance

A

How do we find our happy place?

What do we need to do & how do we adjust?