Lecture 10 Flashcards
Who do we affiliate with?
People who are proximate, familiar, available, reciprocative and similar.
Define self disclosure
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with another person, this is essential for long relationships.
How does self disclosure maintain closeness?
Because people only disclose this information to people they like, we like people more when they disclose information and we like people more after we disclose information with them.
What did Cotrell find about what we desire in the other?
We desire people who have similar attitudes, beliefs, values and interests, people who like us (you do not like people who don’t like you), we also want the other to be trustworthy, agreeable and cooperative. Humour is also important but intelligence isn’t important unless the friendship is within a project group.
How do people act when they have a close friendship?
We are more modest around friends, whereas we brag around stagners. We also begin to use inclusive pronouns such as we and our when talking about our friends. Close friends spend an increasing amount of time with the other and they begin self disclosing and providing emotional support. We feel free to be our true selves when with a close friend. Women say they have more close friends and put more importance on intimacy compared to men.
People feel very upset when a friendship ends.
What are the 8 elements of friendship according to Davis?
Understanding; you understand what is important to each other. Spontaneity; you can be your true self around each other Enjoyment; like each other's compamy Acceptance Trust Respect Support Confiding
What’s different between friendship and romantic love?
Romantic love has two additional aspects; passion and caring. Passion involves fascination of the other, sexual desire and exclusiveness. Caring involves defending and supporting the other as well as giving/sometimes self sacrificing.
What are the 4 elements of mature love according to Curtis?
Needing, giving, romance and companionship
Discuss Stenberg’s triangle model of love
Love has many types, some involve commitment, some passion and some intimacy. This triangle of aspects forms 8 types of love. Consumate love: all 3 aspects. Romantic love: intimacy and passion (this is deep and intense and needs to be continually reanimated). Companionate love: commitment and intimacy. Fatuous love: commitment and passion. Liking: just intimacy. Infatuation: just passion. Empty love: just commitment. Non-love: none of the aspects.
Discuss the attachment theory
This was found when Bowlby researched the relationship between children and their mothers. The style of attachment depends on the degree of security an individual feels towards interpersonal relationships. Children acquire these two attitudes: self esteem (feeling valued, important and loved) and interpersonal trust (trust, depend and rely on the caregiver). If the child has high self esteem but low trust then they dismiss attachment. Low trust, low esteem: fearful/avoidant attachment. Low self esteem, high trust: preoccupied attachment. High trust, high self esteem: secure attachment. Secure attachment: Lasting, commited and satisfying relationships, high need for achievement, low fear of failure and strong curiosity. Fearful avoidant: Doesn’t form close relationships or if they do, they are unhappy ones. Preoccupied: Wants close relationships, clings to others but expects to be rejected due to low self worth. Dismissive: Doesn’t have close relationships as they expect the worst of others and fear closeness.
Discuss immature/maladaptive love
It consists of elements such as power, possession, protection, pity and perversion. Immature romantic love is also referred to as love addiction if it permeates daily life and is out of control, causing negative consequences. One craves constant union with the love object and goes through a cycle of elation and craving which leads to decreased adaptive functioning. They believe relationships are capable of overcoming all emotional obstacles. Love addiction can encompass sex addiction. Love addiction can have an influence from the media as music lyrics often encompass the charactersitics of love addiction.
Discuss Feeney and Noller’s study about attachment
Individuals that are securely attached trust family relationships and have stable love relationships. Individuals that are avoidant reported having childhood separation and that they mistrust people. Individuals that are anxious/ambivalent desire commitment but have the least stable relationships. They are obsessive, dependent and need attention and they idealise their partner.
