Francine Jay - the joy of less Flashcards
2
You are not what you own
Contrary to what marketers would have you believe, you are not what you own. You are you, and things are things.
Therefore, we must account for another sub-category of items we own: “aspirational stuff.” These are the things we buy to impress others, or to indulge our “fantasy selves”—you know, the one that’s twenty pounds thinner, travels the world, attends cocktail parties, or plays in a rock band.
We may be reluctant to admit it, but we likely acquired many of our possessions to project a certain image.
We can satisfy our need for transportation with a simple car that gets us from Point A to Point B.
A small, basic house more than satisfies our need for shelter.
We’re told that the contents of our homes are reflections of ourselves—and we should take care to display the “right” things to convey the desired impression.
Ads also encourage us to define ourselves through our clothing—and ideally, with brand name apparel.
It’s not easy to be a minimalist in a mass media world. Advertisers constantly bombard us with the message that material accumulation is the measure of success.
But consider this: if these things haven’t delivered on their promises yet, it may be time to let them go.
Similarly, consumer products are not surrogates for experience.
As we examine our things with a critical eye, we may be surprised how much of it commemorates our past, represents our hopes for the future, or belongs to our imaginary selves. Unfortunately, devoting too much of our space, time, and energy to these things keeps us from living in the present.
By eliminating the remnants of unloved pastimes, uncompleted endeavors, and unrealized fantasies, we make room for new (and real) possibilities. Aspirational items are the props for a pretend version of our lives; we need to clear out this clutter, so that we have the time, energy, and space to realize our true selves, and our full potential.
3
Less stuff = less stress
Think of the life energy expended in the ownership of a single possession: planning for it, reading reviews about it, looking for the best deal on it, earning (or borrowing) the money to buy it, going to the store to purchase it, transporting it home, finding a place to put it, learning how to use it, cleaning it (or cleaning around it), maintaining it, buying extra parts for it, insuring it, protecting it, trying not to break it, fixing it when you do, and sometimes making payments on it even after you’ve disposed of it. Now multiply this by the number of items in your home.
Entire industries have sprung up to help us service our stuff.
First of all, we stress about not having stuff.
Next we stress about how to acquire this thing.
Now that we’ve spent good money on it, we’re going to have to take good care of it. We’ve acquired not only a new possession, but also a load of responsibility.
We have to make sure we clean it regularly, as dust and dirt may inhibit its function and its lifespan. We have to keep it out of reach of the kids and pets. We have to use extra caution when we use it ourselves, so that we don’t break or ruin or stain it.
Then when something goes wrong with it—as it inevitably will—we stress over how to fix it. We pore over manuals or search the Web for advice. We go out and buy the appropriate tools, or replacement parts, for the repair. When we fail, we drag it into a repair shop. Or maybe we procrastinate because we can’t figure out how (or don’t particularly want) to deal with it. It sits there in the corner, or in a closet, or in the basement, weighing on our minds. Maybe we didn’t break it, but simply got bored of it. Whatever the case, we feel a little guilty and uneasy for spending so much time and money on it.
We simply need to put our stuff in its place, so it doesn’t command the lion’s share of our attention.
We’re beginning to see the beauty of becoming minimalists.
4
Less stuff = more freedom
What if you were presented with a fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—but you had to move across the country in three days in order to take it?
Would your stuff have the power to hold you in place? For many of us, the answer may very well be “yes.”
Things can be anchors. They can tie us down, and keep us from exploring new interests and developing new talents. They can get in the way of relationships, career success, and family time. They can drain our energy and sense of adventure.
Look around at all the things in the room where you’re sitting. Imagine that each of these objects—every individual possession—is tied to you with a length of rope. Some are tied to your arms, some to your waist, some to your legs. (For extra drama, visualize chains instead.) Now try to get up and move around, with all this stuff dragging and clinging and clanging behind you.
It takes much less effort to stay where you are.
In a similar way, too much clutter can weigh on our spirits. It’s like all those items have their own gravitational field, and are constantly pulling us down and holding us back. We can literally feel heavy and lethargic in a cluttered room, too tired and lazy to get up and accomplish anything. Contrast this with a clean, bright, sparsely furnished room—in such a space, we feel light and liberated and full of possibility. Without the burden of all those belongings, we feel energetic and ready for anything.
But even stuff that’s hidden away (be it in the hall closet, down the basement, or across town in a storage unit) stays in the back of our minds. In order to free ourselves mentally, we must shake off the stuff
In addition to crowding us physically, and stifling us psychologically, things also enslave us financially, via the debt used to pay for them.
Minimalism, on the other hand, makes you nimble. Imagine traveling with only a light backpack.
It’s much the same with life. The less baggage we’re dragging around (both physically and mentally), the more living we can do!
5
Become detached from your stuff
We’ll build up our minimalist muscles—and gain the psychological strength and flexibility we’ll need for a showdown with our stuff.
We’ll start out with something easy to get ourselves warmed up: let’s imagine life without our stuff.
Many of us look back on our young adult days as one of the happiest, most carefree times of our lives.
We’ll come to recognize that much of the stuff that surrounds us is hardly necessary to our health and happiness.
Pretend you’re moving overseas, transporting items across the globe is complex and costly; so you’ll have to pare down to what you can’t live without.
Survey the contents of your house and decide exactly what you’ll take. Doesn’t it feel great? It’s amazing what you’re able to ditch when you suddenly have the “permission!”
It’s the middle of the night, and you’re awakened by the piercing sound of the fire alarm. Holy smokes! You have only minutes—maybe seconds—to decide what you’ll save as you head out of the house.
Admittedly, you’ll have little opportunity for decisions here, and will have to rely mainly on instinct. In all likelihood, however, you’ll have to sacrifice all your stuff in order to get yourself, your family, and your pets out alive. In that moment, you won’t care a whit about all those things that so thoroughly consumed your attention in the past.
Let’s take a moment after that one to slow down our heartbeats. Actually, we’re going to slow them way, way down…until they stop.
As much as we hate to think about it, our time here on earth will someday end; and unfortunately, it could occur sooner than we expect. And what’s going to happen after that? People are going to look through our stuff.
Like it or not, the things we leave behind become part of our legacy—and I can’t imagine any of us want to be memorialized as junk collectors or packrats. Wouldn’t you rather be remembered as someone who lived lightly and gracefully, with only the basic necessities and a few special items?
Take some time and mentally catalog your “estate.” What story does your stuff tell about you?
Do your heirs a favor, and don’t make them slog through a houseful of clutter after your demise. Otherwise, when you peer down from your afterlife, you’ll likely see strangers pawing through your “treasures” at a giant yard sale.
Such scenarios help us see that in the grand scheme of things, our stuff isn’t all that important; and with that realization, we can weaken the power it has over us, and be ready (and willing) to let it go.
6
Be a good gatekeeper
British writer and designer William Morris penned one of my favorite minimalist quotes: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” It’s a wonderful sentiment, but how exactly do we put it into practice? The solution: we have to become good gatekeepers.
Things come into our houses by one of two ways: we buy them, or they’re given to us. We let them in.
As you evaluate your possessions, ask how each item came into your life.
Of course, we have the power to exercise complete control over what we buy; we just need to use it. Don’t let down your defenses when something slips into your cart—in fact, don’t escort any item to the checkout counter without extensive questioning. Ask the following (in your head!) of each potential purchase: “Do you deserve a place in my home?” “What value will you add to my household?” “Will you make my life easier?” “Or are you going to be more trouble than you’re worth?” “Do I have a place to put you?” “Do I already have something that could accomplish the same task?” “Will I want to keep you forever (or at least a very long time)?” “If not, how hard will it be to get rid of you?”
All we need to do is stop and think “Why?” before we buy.
But what about those things we don’t choose to acquire—and oftentimes don’t even want? Learning to decline them politely is a valuable technique, which comes in handy more often than you think. Turn down the perfume and cosmetic samples at the mall, the miniature detergents and dishwashing liquids from the supermarket.
If you’re attending a professional meeting or conference, review the booklets, pamphlets, and other materials while you’re there. And by all means, leave those little lotions, shampoos, and conditioners in the hotels where they belong. Unless you honestly plan to use them, don’t let these miniatures clutter up your cabinets and drawers.
Gifts, on the other hand, require a different game plan. I’ve found it best to accept them graciously, without going overboard on the gratitude. Yet that leaves a dilemma: what should you do with gifts you don’t want?
The solution is simple: never let them settle in. Keep a donation box outside of your living space (like in the basement), and stash unwanted stuff in there immediately. When it’s full, cart it to your favorite local charity. The time delay between receiving the item and donating it (while waiting to fill the box), can actually work in your favor. Photographing the gift also works wonders: pose for a picture. Send the photo to the gift giver, and the item to charity, and happiness will reign all around.
In order to be a good gatekeeper, you have to think of your house as sacred space, not storage space. A simple refusal up front will save you tons of decluttering down the road!
7
Embrace space
“Music is the space between the notes.” - beauty requires a certain amount of emptiness to be appreciated— “Life is the space between our things.” Too much clutter can stifle our creativity, and make our lives discordant. Conversely, the more space we have, the more beautifully and harmoniously we can live.
Space: it’s not anything, really, but we never seem to have enough of it. The lack of it distresses us to no end: “Where did all our space go?”
We have fond memories of how it looked the first day we moved into our homes; oh, all that glorious space! But what happened? The space didn’t change; our priorities did. We focused so much of our attention on stuff that we completely forgot about the space. We lost sight of the fact that the two are mutually exclusive: that for each new thing we bring into our homes, a little bit of space disappears. The problem: we put more value on our stuff than on our space.
Space may be easy to lose, but it’s just as easy to reclaim. Get rid of an item, and voilà! Space! Get rid of another item, and voilà! More space!
Take advantage of all that newfound space and do a little happy dance!
The amount of stuff we’re able to own is limited by the amount of space we have to contain it.
When we want to relax, create, and play with our families, we need some empty space in which to do it.
We also need space for our ideas and thoughts—a cluttered room usually leads to a cluttered mind.
Even activities of a more mundane variety benefit greatly from space and clarity; for instance, it’s much easier to give your full attention to your partner or toddler when there aren’t a million doodads around to confuse and distract you.
By creating space in our homes, we put the focus back where it should be: on what we do, rather than what we own.
8
Enjoy without owning
In our modern society, to have access to so many of mankind’s masterpieces—without having to acquire and maintain them ourselves.
Our cities are such amazing resources of art, culture, and entertainment, we have no need to create artificial approximations of them within our own four walls.
Finding ways to “enjoy without owning” is one of the keys to having a minimalist home.
In pursuing a minimalist lifestyle, we need to resist the temptation to recreate the outside world within our abodes.
But instead of purchasing, maintaining, and repairing all that equipment, why not have a fun night out at the movies, go to the gym (or take a walk), or treat yourself to a day at the local spa? That way, you can enjoy such activities when it strikes your fancy—without having to store and care for all the stuff.
For even less work and worry, apply the same principle to your backyard. Keep it neat and maintained, but don’t feel compelled to create a botanical extravaganza behind your house.
If you’re particularly susceptible to buying “pretty” things, repeat “enjoy without owning” as a mantra when you’re out shopping.
In our quest to become minimalists, we want to reduce the amount of things in our homes that require our care and attention. Fortunately, we have ample opportunity to do so—simply by shifting some of our pleasures and activities into the public realm.
By breaking down the walls of stuff around us, we’re able to get out into the world and enjoy fresher, more direct, and more rewarding experiences.
9
The joy of enough
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzuwrote, “He who knows he has enough is rich.”
Enough—it’s a slippery concept. Dictionary.com defines it as “adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire.” In order to experience the joy of “enough,” that’s where we’ll need to focus. It’s quite simple, actually: happiness is wanting what you have. When your wants are satisfied by the things you already have, there’s no need to acquire any more.
So unless we truly believe we’re going to become the richest people in the world, it’s an exercise in futility to define our “wealth” relative to others.
The fact of the matter is, once we’ve covered our basic needs, our happiness has very little to do with the amount of stuff we own. Beyond this point, the marginal utility (or satisfaction) derived from consuming additional goods diminishes rapidly; and, at what economists call the “satiation point,” it actually turns negative.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is far more conducive to a minimalist lifestyle. If we recognize the abundance in our lives, and appreciate what we have, we will not want for more. We simply need to focus on what we have, rather than what we don’t have. If we’re going to make comparisons, we have to look globally, as well as locally; we have to look down the ladder, as well as up.
Now that we have a better understanding of where we stand in the world (and not just compared to celebrities or our neighbors), let’s wrap up our discussion of “enough” with a little exercise.
Go through your house, and make a list of everything you own. Make a list of every book, every plate, every fork, every shirt, every shoe, every sheet, every pen, every knickknack—in short, every single object—that resides inside your home. Too difficult? Try just one room. Still can’t do it? How about just one drawer. It’s pretty overwhelming, isn’t it? Do you still feel like you don’t have enough?
10
Live simply, so that others may simply live
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Live simply, so that others may simply live.” As it turns out, this may be the greatest incentive of all for becoming a minimalist.
Now that we’re thinking globally, let’s consider this: we share the world with over six billion other people. Our space, and our resources, are finite. How can we guarantee that there’s enough food, water, land, and energy to go around?
We must realize that we don’t live in a vacuum; the consequences of our actions ripple throughout the world.
Our choices as consumers have an environmental toll. Every item we buy, from food to books to televisions to cars, uses up some of the earth’s bounty. Not only does its production and distribution require energy and natural resources; its disposal is also cause for concern.
Our purchases have a human toll as well. Unfortunately, global outsourcing has fostered an out-of-sight, out-of-mind mentality with regards to this issue. Whenever we purchase something, we need to consider the people who made it. Under what kind of conditions did they labor? What effect did the production of this item have on their lives, their communities, and their environment? If it’s negative, is our need (or desire) for this thing worth their suffering?
However, we can do an end run around this issue, and still minimize our personal consumer footprints: by buying local, buying used, and buying less.
Buying local has significant ethical, environmental, and economic benefits.
Buying used enables us to obtain the things we need, without putting further pressure on the earth’s resources. Why waste materials and energy on a new item when an existing one will do? Thrift shops, classifieds, and websites such as eBay (www.ebay.com), Craigslist (www.craigslist.org), and Freecycle (www.freecycle.org) are treasure troves of perfectly good, previously used items.
Finally, buying less is the cornerstone of our minimalist lifestyles. Limiting our purchases to essentials is the best way to curb the impact of our consumption.
Let’s base our purchasing decisions on our needs, and the entire life cycle of a product.
Let’s reject being “consumers,” and become “minsumers” instead. We’ll strive to minimize our consumption to what meets our needs; minimize the impact of our consumption on the environment; and minimize the effect of our consumption on other people’s lives.
STREAMLINE
The STREAMLINE method:
ten sure-fire techniques to rid our houses of clutter, and keep them that way.
S - Start over T - Trash, Treasure, or Transfer R - Reason for each item E - Everything in its place A - All surfaces clear M - Modules L - Limits I - If one comes in, one goes out N - Narrow it down E - Everyday maintenance
11
Start over
The most difficult aspect of any task is knowing where to start. As we look around our houses, we see piles of stuff everywhere—
Decluttering doesn’t happen instantaneously; it’s something we have to work at, slowly and deliberately. As we get into the groove, we get better at it; and it actually becomes fun!
The high I experienced while decluttering was like no other; it’s as if I could feel the physical weight being lifted from my shoulders.
We’re not going to vacate the premises, or empty the contents of our houses onto our front lawns. We’re just going to redo moving day—but now we’re going to take our time, breaking up the gargantuan task into little pieces. We’re going to orchestrate a fresh start for each area of our homes. We’ll simply pick a single section at a time—as big as a room or as small as a drawer—and start over again, as if it’s the first day we moved in.
The key to Starting Over is to take everything out of the designated section.
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of completely emptying the section on which you’re working. We become so accustomed to seeing certain things in certain places, it’s like they’ve earned the right to be there (whether they belong there or not).
Decluttering is infinitely easier when you think of it as deciding what to keep, rather than deciding what to throw away. That’s why Starting Over—emptying everything out, then bringing things back one by one—is so effective. You’re selecting what you truly love and need; and it’s much more fun to single out things to treasure, than to single out things to toss.
Remember, the things with which we choose to surround ourselves tell our story. Let’s hope it’s not “I choose to live in the past,” or “I can’t finish the projects I start.” Instead, let’s aim for something like, “I live lightly and gracefully, with only the objects I find functional or beautiful.”
1
See your stuff for what it is
Take a look around you. What is this stuff? How did it get there? What is its purpose?
Generally speaking, our stuff can be divided into three categories: useful stuff, beautiful stuff, and emotional stuff.
Useful stuff: These are the items that are practical, functional, and help us get things done. Anything you use often, and which truly adds value to your life.
If the item in question fills your heart with joy, display it with pride and enjoy its presence.
As you walk around your house, have a conversation with your stuff. Ask each item, “What are you and what do you do?” “How did you come into my life?” “Did I buy you, or were you given to me?” “How often do I use you?” “Would I replace you if you were lost or broken, or would I be relieved to be rid of you?” “Did I ever want you in the first place?” Be honest with your answers—you won’t hurt your stuff’s feelings.
Simply stroll around and get to know your stuff: that thing is useful, that one is beautiful, that belongs to someone else.
