Exam 3: Interpersonal Attraction & Relationships Flashcards
Variables that Influence Attraction
- Proximity
- Similarity vs. opposites
- Reciprocal liking
- Physical attractiveness
Proximity
- “Propinquity effect”
- More likely to like someone you constantly see/interact with
Why?
- Opportunities to interact increases due to mere exposure
- Functional distance: how likely due to location that people will come into contact with each other
Similarity vs. Opposites
- More likely to be attracted if similar
- Talk about and do same things together
- Easier to talk to someone similar because we want to hear that we’re right (self-confirmation)
- Genetics
- Romeo and Juliet effect: result of parental opposition to a relationship, characterized by an intensification of the romantic feelings of those in the relationship
Reciprocal Liking
- When people tend to like those people who like them
- Feels gratifying to have someone like you (self-fulfilling prophecy)
Physical Attractiveness
“What is beautiful is good” Stereotype or Attractiveness Effect
-Assumption that people who are physically attractive also possess other socially desirable personality traits
Why?
- Halo Effect
- Better quality traits are in good looking people
- We treat these people better, so they end up being nice
Studies?
- If computer chooses date, we’re more happy with a more attractive person because we didn’t choose
- If we choose our date, we’re more happy with a similarly attractive person because we chose
Downsides?
- Not intelligent
- Shallow, arrogant
Theories of Attraction
- Heider’s Balance Theory
- Cognitive Dissonance Theory
- Reinforcement Theory
- Social Exchange Theory
- Equity Theory
Heider’s Balance Theory
-Supported more often when P like O than when P dislikes O
Cognitive Dissonance Theory
- Sorority initiation: severe sexually explicit passages and mild benign information
- Helping increases liking
- Hurting increases disliking
Reinforcement Theory
- When rewards are used to reinforce the behavior you want and punishments are used to prevent the behavior you do not want
- Accounts for similarity effect
- Accounts for attractiveness effect
- Even consistency is rewarding
Social Exchange Theory
- A kind of reinforcement theory
- Rewards: support, comfort, company, physical intimacy, security, etc.
- Costs: compromise, time commitment, loss of independence
- Comparison level (related to happiness): what do I think I deserve vs. what do I have right now
- Comparison level for alternatives (related to staying or not): what do I have already vs. what could I get right now outside of the relationship
- If R > C, then more likely to stay in relationship
Equity Theory
-Equity: person gets out PROPORTIONALLY what she/he put in, not necessarily equal amount
-Matters more if you match, not if the costs outweigh benefits
Ex: Inputs 1 / Outputs 1 = Inputs 2 / Outputs 2
-Both under benefitted and over benefitted = unhappy because it’s not fair
-Different from social exchange theory because it’s not okay to be over benefitted
Are We Always Concerned with Equity?
-Depends on type of relationship you have
Exchange relationship: governed by equity norm
- Keep track of inputs and outputs
- Benefits given with the expectation of a return
Communal relationship: not governed by equity
- Give in response to need
- Follow “norm of mutual responsiveness”
- Yours is others
- Not keeping track
Study by Clark & Mills
- Male subjects with attractive female in another room
- Subjects “randomly assigned” to work on easy task
- Subjects gave excess materials to the female
- Manipulation of benefit: females either gave subject points (benefit) or said “thanks” (no benefit)
- Manipulation of relationship: told females were either married (exchange) or new to the university (communal)
Results?
- Exchange and benefit > communal and benefit
- Communal and no benefit > exchange and no benefit
Trait Preferences Among M/F
- Males rated physical attractiveness as most important
- Females rated everything else as more important than physical attractiveness
- Ratings from males > females for physical attractiveness
Sex Differences in Preference for Physically Attractive Mate?
-Yes there are sex differences
But…
-Physical attractiveness isn’t most desired trait
-Sex difference is small
-Women are “choosier” sex
-Sex difference is larger in self report than actual behavior
-Sex difference is larger in short term than long term relationships
-Could be due to social roles
Evolutionary Perspective
- Evolutionary psychology says that behaviors are aimed at maximizing reproductive success
- Leads to sex differences in mate selection
- Men prefer physically attractive women because they’re “more fertile”
- Men have to spread genes by having sex with many women
- Women prefer men with financial resources because they need a mate that sticks around and can support
- Women can only have finite number of children to spread genes
Are Women the Choosier Sex?
-No, it depends on who’s approached or not
Speed Dating Study
- 12 women seated and visited by men
- Women choosier when rating attractiveness
- 12 men seated and visited by women
- Men choosier when rating attractiveness
Attachment Theory Perspective
- Early social experiences relating to attachment have long lasting effects
- Secure, avoidance, anxious/ambivalent infant caretaker attachment styles
- Strange Situation: mother leaves baby with stranger and then returns, stranger leaves baby first and then mother leaves and later returns
Secure
- 50 to 60%
- Explore environment when mom present
- Show distress when separated
- Sought physical contact with parent when reunited
- Easily comforted and calmed
- Returned to exploring
Effects?
- Trusting
- Not concerned with being abandoned
- Feel good about themselves
- Associated with longer and more satisfying relationships
Insecure-Avoidant
- 20%
- Explore environment
- Show no overt distress when separated
- Avoid mom when reunited
- No contact seeking
- Unemotional and focused on toys
Effects?
- Difficult to develop close relationships
- Difficult trusting and opening up to others
- Have conflictual relationships
- More likely to be socially isolated
Insecure-Anxious/Ambivilant
- 20%
- Little exploration when mom present
- Clingy to mom
- Lots of crying
- Angry upon reunion
- Difficult to soothe
- Fails to return to exploration
Effects?
- Low self-esteem
- Overly self-disclosing
- Too demanding of relationships
- Finds others less willing to commit than self
Links Between Romantic and Parent Relationships
Secure Adults
-Report relationship with parents as happy, caring, and affectionate
Avoidance Adults
- Report moms as more intrusive, demanding, and rejecting
- Report dads as unfair
Anxious/Ambivalent Adults
- Report moms as more intrusive and demanding
- Inconsistent parenting (sometimes there and sometimes not there for child)
Stability of Attachment Style
-A person that developed an insecure attachment style in infancy isn’t doomed to unsatisfying relationships forever
Why?
- Can learn from past relationships
- Very important relationships or significant events can change attachment styles
- Research suggests that attachments can be relationship specific
