Exam #2/Chp 12 Close Relationships Part 1 (B&C)

Question 1

How are early relationships built?

Answer 1

Reinforcement and Reciprocity

Question 2

Reinforcement

Answer 2

we like those who are rewarding and arousing

Question 3

Reinforcement & Rewards

Answer 3

• Association with a positive event: e.g. good food, fun activity, praise, etc
• person reminds you of a good, fun reward

Question 4

Reinforcement & Arousing

Answer 4

-Dutton & Aron’s Safe or Swinging Bridge Study – TAT and phone#
-Followups included
running in place, hearing an audiotape of a comedy routine, or by hearing an audiotape of a grisly killing –ALL worked to increase attraction

Question 5

Aronson’s “gain-loss” effect

Answer 5

We prefer people who at first didn’t like us, but then come to like us EVEN MORE than we like people who liked us from the first moment they met us

Question 6

evidence of selectivity from speed-dating

Answer 6

We most prefer dates with those who are selective, who like very few people overall –but nonetheless like us

Question 7

What is the caveat for reciprocity?

Answer 7

we especially like those who like us “selectively”

Question 8

Liking vs Loving

Answer 8

• distinct, and both important
• Liking = Feelings of respect and enjoyment
• Loving = Feelings of intimacy and interdependence
• Both predict satisfaction, but liking remains stable over long periods (20 years). Love is sometimes unstable

Question 9

Different types of love

Answer 9

• Passionate love: intense desire, longing, etc.

- Companionate love: caring, mutual understanding

Question 10

Symptoms of infatuation/passion?

Answer 10

• Higher Norepinephrine: (heart racing, sleeplessness, more energy)
• Lower Serotonin: (obsessive thoughts, romantic anxiety)
• Higher Dopamine: (pleasure/addiction/craving)

Question 11

Symptoms of companionate love?

Answer 11

Oxytocin release: (bonding, attachment, trust)

Question 12

Sternberg’s triangle of love

Answer 12

center: Consummate love
- 3 main sides: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment
- 3 main points: companionate, romantic, fatuous

Question 13

Cultural universals w/ love

Answer 13

• Components of love –all cultures distinguish between passion, intimacy, commitment
• So, types of love should be universal too

Question 14

cultural specifics w/ love

Answer 14

Importance placed on PASSION differs across cultures

Question 15

Arranged marriages

Answer 15

• Companionate love used to be termed “empty love”

- BUT…just as satisfied over time as non-arranged marriages, and MORE STABLE

Question 16

Love over time?

Answer 16

• physical passion tends to decrease
• BUT intimacy and commitment tend to increase
• AND – recent research shows that some very lucky couples (roughly 5%) actually stay romantically in love over spans of 20-50 years!

Question 17

physical passion over time?

Answer 17

-tends to decrease
-Sexual contact decreases after 1st year of relationship
Reduced physiological response
-The Coolidge Effect

Question 18

The Coolidge Effect

Answer 18

partner novelty is arousing (esp. for males)

Question 19

intimacy and commitment over time?

Answer 19

• tend to increase
• Become each other’s “best friends”
• High commitment can help keep couple together in times of stress

Question 20

lucky couples over time?

Answer 20

• stay romantically in love over spans of 20-50 years
• fMRI study examined long married couples vs newly engaged couples.
• When in passionate love – reward/addiction centers light up to the beloved compared to others.
• In general, newly engaged had more activation in reward centers than long marrieds. But subset of long-marrieds looked like the newly engaged. Reported higher satisfaction, more physical affection compared to their ‘companionate love’ peers.

Question 21

How does love impact the way we feel?

Answer 21

-Makes us happier:
Greater life satisfaction
Greater daily pos mood
Lowered risk of depression

-Makes us healthier:
Lower blood pressure
Lower risk of diabetes
Lower mortality rate

Question 22

self-other overlap

Answer 22

• We think of close others as part of the self—Inclusion of Other in Self
• Happens gradually over time, but can also happen quickly when we want to draw close to partner
• Use close other’s standards to judge our own behavior
• Reduction of Self-Evaluation Maintenance

Question 23

self-other overlap in married couples

Answer 23

long term self-spouse confusion (spouse’s traits unconsciously identified as his/her own –thought due to be shared experience)

Question 24

self-over lap in dating couples

Answer 24

self-partner confusion (same effects, can happen immediately with no shared experience –can be motivated by desire to be close)

Question 25

Reduction of Self-Evaluation Maintenance

Answer 25

We are no longer threatened if others-in-self outperform us

Question 26

Cognitive interdependence

Answer 26

• Sense of “WE”
• Greater if more committed
• More plural thoughts/ more plural pronoun use
• Relationship more central to self and decisions

Question 27

Outsourcing in relationships

Answer 27

Relationships split behavioral tasks (e.g., she does dishes and he takes out the garbage) or duties

Question 28

cognitive outsourcing

Answer 28

Relationships split cognitive tasks (transactive memory effects: e.g., she remembers family birthdays, he remembers when the appliances need maintenance)

Question 29

Regulatory outsourcing

Answer 29

Relationships even allow us to outsource some of our self-regulation! Research shows that if we know that our partners help us in achieving our goals, we will expend less effort in pursuing these goals as compared to goals that our partner does not assist us with

Question 30

Pros & Cons of Outsourcing in relationships

Answer 30

All allow for efficiency within relationships (and obviously, when done too much –makes for problems when relationships end –the widow who doesn’t know anything about finances, etc)

Question 31

Michelangelo effect

Answer 31

partners support and scaffold the other’s ideal self views (e.g. through perceptions and compliments and encouragement), help others achieve goals for self (through opening opportunities etc)

Question 32

Pygmalion effect

Answer 32

partner tries to shape partner to match their own ideal –much worse for relationship, but not always malicious

Question 33

For Michelangleo effect to occur

Answer 33

• Partners must self-disclose their true ideal selves to one another, communicate clearly
• Partners must be other focused, respecting the others ideals and helping them achieve them

Question 34

Attachment theory

Answer 34

• Proximity seeking, Secure base, Safe haven
• Originally to explain infant bond to caregivers
• Has since been generalized to adult romantic relationships (

Question 35

Bartholomew & Horowitz’s Attachment Dimensions

Answer 35

-Low Anxiety/ Low Avoidance: Secure
(Self worthy of love / Others are trustworthy)
-Low Anxiety/ High Avoidance: Dismissing
(Self worthy of love/ Others NOT trustworthy)
-High Anxiety/Low Avoidance: Preoccupied
(Self NOT worthy of love/ Others are trustworthy)
-High Anxiety/High Avoidance: Fearful
(Self NOT worthy of love/ Others NOT trustworthy)