Conflict

Question 1

competing motives

Answer 1

autonomy vs connection

Question 2

Instigating events for conflict

Answer 2

criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, comulative annoyanves

Question 3

4 types of couples during conflicts

Answer 3

-validating
-volatile (frequent conflict + humour)
-conflict-avoiding
-hostile

3 first can be stable, will work if 5:1 ratio between positive and negative interactions

Question 4

2 types of hostile couples

Answer 4

engaged subtype: attempt to address disagreements, but do so badly

detached subtype: let agreements fester and fester until it erupts in snipping and attacking

Question 5

4 horsemen (4 hostile dynamics)

Answer 5

-criticism: personal attack rather than comment on specific behaviour
-contempt: intention to insult, psychologically abuse partner, sense of superiority, disgust & negativity
-defensiveness: protecting against attack, tends to escalate rather than de-escalate conflict
-stonewalling: withdrawing and disengaging from meaningful conversation, ignoring

Question 6

what happens when individual experiences chronic flooding?

Answer 6

hypervigilance for signs of attack, immersion in distress-maintaining thoughts

(being condition for negative outcomes in conflict)

Question 7

negative affect reciprocity

Answer 7

negative emotions are met with negative emotions.

unhappy couples get stuck in cycle of negativity

Question 8

accomodation

Answer 8

willingness to respond to destructive acts with constructive responses

-to keep negativity from spiralling out of control
-characteristic of committed couples

Question 9

attributional conflict

Answer 9

aggre on what happened but not why it happened

Question 10

mindreading

Answer 10

one’s tendency to assume that they understand their partner’s thoughts, feelings & opinions without asking

Question 11

happy partners engage in cognitive editing. What is that?

Answer 11

Respond only to constructive portions of partner’s comment & ignore the negative

Question 12

behaviour descriptions

Answer 12

voice complaints by focusing on discrete, manageable behaviours

-avoiding words like always and never

Question 13

XYZ statements

Answer 13

combine behaviour descriptions and I-statements

“When you do X in situation Y, I feel Z

Question 14

it’s not just about how you speak, but also how you listen. Examples

Answer 14

-paraphrasing
-perception checking
-backchannel communications (nodding, yeah, uh-huh, i see)
-validating
-take responsibility for your actions