Chapter 8: Communicating In Intimate Relationships Flashcards
Intimacy
Significant emotional closeness
- EX: mom, sister, close friend
Commitment
Desire to stay - no matter what happens
- emotional: sense of responsibility for each other’s emotions
- social: spend a lot of time together, give praise, avoid conflict, compromise
i. EX: hanging out with your S.O’s best friends even though you don’t like them
- Financial: people’s obligation to each other
i. Parents have legal responsibility to provide housing, food, clothing, healthcare, and education for their children (under 18)
Interdependence
one person’s errant/decision affects everyone in the relationships
○ EX: someone in your family is in a bad mood, by the end of the night everyone is in a bad mood
○ EX: your dad gets a promotion in Wyoming, the whole family has to move to Wyoming
Dialectical tensions
conflicts between two important but opposing relational needs or desires
Autonomy vs Connection
want to be your own person but still have a emotional connection to someone
- Autonomy = desire to be your own person
- Connection = desire to be close to others
EX: wanting to have independence from parents, but still want to maintain a relationship with your parents
EX: wanting to have independence from S.O, but they want to be with you 24/7
Openness vs Closeness
want to be open, but maintain some information to yourself
- Openness: desire for disclosure and honesty
- Closeness: desire to keep certain facts, thoughts, or ideas to yourself
EX: tell your parents everything, but you want to withhold some information in a relationship
Predictability vs Novelty
Consistently doing the same thing, but also wanting to try something different
- Predictability: desire for consistency and stability
- Novelty: desire for fresh new experiences
Investment - “Sunk Cost Fallacy”
- Need to invest in relationship
○ EX: your time
Romantic relationships
- exclusivity
- voluntariness
- love
- sexuality
- permanence
Monogamy
the state of being in only one romantic relationship at a time and avoiding romantic or sexual involvement with others outside of the relationship
- Depends on culture (Italy, Spain, South Africa are some cultures where its okay to have more than 1 partner)
Polygamy
state of having two or more spouses at once
Infidelity
romantic or sexual interaction with someone outside of one’s romantic relationship
Voluntariness
people choose to be in relationships
- Depends on culture (EX: arranged marriages)
Love
Choice should be based on love and attraction
- Other cultures may not believe that love is not required for marriage
Sexuality
same-sex and opposite-sex relationships are very similar when dealing with conflict, negotiations, etc
- Other cultures are not as accepting of same-sex marriages
Permanence
Relationship is permanent, no breaking up, etc
Stages of development (for relationships)
- initiating
- experimenting
- intensifying
- integrating
- bonding
Initiating
stage of relationship development at which people meet and interact for the first time
Experimenting
stage of relationship at which people converse to learn more about each other
Intensifying
stage of relationship at which people more from being acquaintances to being close friends
- “important time”