Chapter 7: communicating in social and professional relationships Flashcards
Why do relationships matter?
The need to belong theory
The need to belong theory
a psychological theory proposing a fundamental human inclination to bond with others
a. “Innate”
b. We Need relationships - emotionally close relationships + need to belong
4 Relationship types
- Virtual
- Pinocchio
- Cyber-emigrant
- Real worlders
Virtual
meeting online, relationship stays online
Pinocchio
relationships starts online, then meet in person
Cyber-emigrant
from face to face relationship to online relationship
Ex: moved to another state, use FaceTime to communicate now instead of face-to-face
Real worlders
met face to face, primarily communicate face to face
What types of rewards do relationships bring?
- emotional
- material
- health
Emotional rewards
Two types of emotional rewards:
- Emotional support
- happiness
Material rewards
relationships help us meet our material needs
- “social capital”: resources we have as a result of our social relationships
social capital
resources we have as a result of our social relationships
Health rewards
positive social relationships provide good health
Why form relationships?
Attraction theory
Attraction theory
theory that explains why individuals are drawn to others
Interpersonal attraction
force that draws people together
Physical attraction
attraction to someone’s appearance (appears physically healthy)
Social attraction
attraction to someone’s personality
Task-oriented attraction
attraction to someone’s abilities, dependability (EX: you’re ambitious, want someone equally as ambitious)
Appearance
physical (evolution)
Proximity
how close someone is to you (distance)
Similarity
how much you have in common
Complementarity
complement each other (opposite attracts)
a) What one lacks, other provides
b) Ex: short person gets with tall person
Culture’s effect on attractiveness
Culture can influence our perception of attractiveness
- Different cultures have different standards for attractiveness
Berger and Calabrese’s uncertainty reduction theory
theory suggesting that people find uncertainty to be unpleasant, so they are motivated to reduce their uncertainty by getting to know others.
Uncertainty
the more you learn about someone, the more you’ll like them
Sunnafrank’s predicted outcome value theory
When you dislike the information you learn about others, that information can cause us to like them less, not more
Social exchange theory
theory suggesting that people seek to maintain relationships in which the benefits outweigh their costs
- Benefits > costs
Comparison level
A realistic expectation of what one wants or thinks they deserve from a relationship
- Determines how happy you will be in a relationship based on what you know/expected
Comparison level: alternatives
An assessment/comparison of how much better the current relationship is than other options
- Leaving costs you more than staying
- Considers the costs
Equity theory
theory suggesting that a good relationship is one in which one’s ratio of costs and benefits is equal to the partner’s
EX: costs your time, compromising
Over-benefited
A state in which one’s relational benefits outweigh one’s costs
Under-benefited
A state in which one’s relational costs outweigh one’s benefits
Relational maintenance behaviors theory
theory specifying the primary behaviors people use to maintain their relationships
5 primary relational maintenance behaviors
- Positivity
- Openness
- Assurances
- Social networks
- Sharing tasks
Positivity
includes behaviors such as acting friendly and cheerful
EX: smile, express affection and appreciation for others
Openness
describes a person’s willingness to discuss his or her relationship with a friend or other relational partner
EX: disclosing thoughts and feelings, asking how their friend feels about the relationship
Assurances
verbal and nonverbal behaviors that people use to stress their faithfulness and commitment to others
Ex: assuring statements (of course I’ll help you, you’re my friend)
Social networks
includes all the friendships and family relationships you have, whether those relationships are maintained online or face to face
EX: sharing social networks with another
Social Convergence theory
when your social networks and your friend’s social networks are intertwined/connected
Sharing tasks
performing your fair share of the work in a friendship
EX: your friend drives you somewhere, you give her your Netflix password
- Scratching each other’s backs
Self-disclosure
act of intentionally giving others information about oneself that one believes is true but thinks others don’t already have
- Intentional (directly telling someone) + truthful (no lies) information
Breadth
the range of topics we self-disclose to various people
Depth
the degree of personal/intimacy of our self-disclosures
More breadth, less depth ?
range of topics to talk about, but you don’t know anything about the person you’re talking to
More depth, less breadth ?
focused on one topic (ex: always talking about their drama at home)
Risks of self-disclosure:
- Rejection
Benefits of self-disclosure
- Emotional release
Cultural disclosure
- Some cultures keep things to themselves
Social penetration theory
theory suggesting that the depth and breadth of self-disclosure help us learn about a person we are getting to know
Norm of reciprocity
the social expectation that favors should be reciprocated
- “Give something, get something”
- Applies to disclosure (the more you share with someone, the more someone will share about themselves)
Friendship
Voluntary
- Relationships between peers
- Cannot truly be friends with someone who is a higher power than you
Peers
someone similar to us in status or power
- cannot be your teacher or professor because they hold a higher power over you
- ex: teacher cannot be your friend because they hold grading power over you
