Chapter 5: Romantic Love and Positive Families Flashcards
What is the hormone that increases the affection of love?
Oxytocin
Oxytocin creates an _ motivation to seek out social support.
Increased
_ _ are involved with social affiliation, diminishing stress.
Endogenous Opioids.
What is the need for affiliation?
The need to feel like you belong
What was Baumeister and Leary’s belongingness hypothesis?
We have a need for long-lasting, positive and meaningful relationships.
Married people are _ satisfied in life than _ people, in general.
More, single
Quality of marriage is a _ predictor of well-being, especially for women.
significant
What predicts quality of marriage?TCC IES
Trust, communication, conflict management
Interactions, expressiveness, sharing
The effect of marriage on well-being is stronger for _.
Men
Being married seems to improve _ health, as in lower _ pressure, lower _ to negative interactions and more _ health indicators.
Physiological
Blood
Reactivity
positive
Positive marital relationships lead to more…
Longevity (live longer)
What is the two factor theory of love made of?
Passionate and companionate love.
All varieties came from these two elements.
What is passionate love in the two factor theory?
Intense longing for union with another, joyful emotional union and sexual fulfillment, terrible despair in rejection
What is companionate love in the two factor theory? What are its four parts?ACFC
Affection when life is deeply intertwined.
Affection, companionship, friendship, long term commitment
What are the three parts of Sternberg’s Theory of Love?
Commitment, intimacy, passion
What is the ideal love, according to Sternberg?
Consummate love
How do the pieces of Sternberg’s love fair over time?
Passion tapers off
Intimacy increases steadily over time
Commitment starts low and increases until highest point
What are the 7 types of Sternberg loving?
Liking (int)
Empty love (commit)
Fatuous love (pass+commit)
Infatuation (pass)
Romantic love (int+pass)
Companionate love (int+commit)
Consummate love (int+pass+commit)
What are the four things that attracts us to someone according to the slides?
Proximity
Physical attractiveness
Attitude similarity
Reciprocity
What was the Festinger et al (1950) study and what did it find?
More likely to be close to immediate neighbours and like people functionally close
What is the matching phenomenon?
Men and women to choose partners who match them in attractiveness
What is the attachment model of love? What are Bartholomew and Horowitz’s attachment styles in adulthood?
First relationship predicts all other relationships.
Secure, dismissive, preoccupied, fearful
What are the two indicators of what attachment style will be?
Self-image and image of others
What seems to be a big predictor of relationship satisfaction?
It matters less how much you talk and more…
Communication
What you talk about
What did John and Julie Gottman recommend for relationships? (2)
Turn towards each other more often and seek small gestures of attention, affection, humour or support.
What are bids for attention?
Small interactions that allow for another to respond with love and support.
How you respond to bids for attention add up over time. How should you respond?
Positively.
What is capitalization in a relationship?
Sharing positive events with others and seeing how respond
What are the dimensions on how you can respond to good news?
Active/passive
Constructive/destructive
What are the four responses to capitalization?
Active constructive (best)
Passive constructive (good but not elaborate, understate)
Active destructive (worst)
Passive destructive (bad, not even acknowledge good)
What is self-disclosure?
Revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others.
What are the three important parts of self-disclosure?
Transparency, allowing people to see our whole self
Disclosure reciprocity, disclose equal amounts over time
Caution, decide appropriate time to share
How do you make a stable relationship (4)?
Friendship
Culture of appreciation
Marry older, higher incomes, education, religious
Self-confidence and nurturance
What are the 5 components of the minding model?KAARC
Knowing and being known
Attribution
Acceptance and respect
Reciprocity
Continuity
Who created the minding model?
Harvey and Omarzu
What is acceptance in relationships?
A realistic acknowledgement of one’s partner with honesty
What is the self-expansion model?
A person expands their self-concept by incorporating qualities of those close to them.
Frequency of cuddling, kissing, caressing and sex is associated with…
Greater relationship satisfaction for all
Cuddling does what in a relationship?
Builds positivity, feeling cared for and nurtured
What can lead to tenderness?
Watching a romcom
Children have _ impact on marital satisfaction.
Little
What about having children can cause problems?
Stress, affective forecasting, unrealistic expectations
Parenthood can _ life satisfaction.
increase
What is the best amount of kids?
3
What is the best person to have a child?
Married, 30s, middle class, college educated
There seems to be a psychological boost from parenting, for _ more than _.
Women, men
What are the four vital characteristics for a flourishing family?WDRR
Warmth and respect
Democratic>authoritarian
Rules and practices encourage childrens autonomy and maturity
Friendly and constructive relationships with other families and wider community
What are the parts of authoritative parenting? (4)RDCW
Reasonable rules
High Demands
High Communication
High warmth and support
Children of authoritative parents are better _ and experience greater self-_.
Adjusted
Actualization
Resilient families are…
Healthy families that flourish after challenges
Resilient families require _ and _ coparenting or marital relationships.
Secure and loving
Family centred positive psychology tells us how to work with _ and _ and promote their _ and _.
Kids
Families
Strengths
Capacity
Family centred positive psychology focuses on…
Strengths and assets
Marital satisfaction _ after kids.
Decreases
Satisfaction is _ during the initial years of marriage.
High
Marital satisfaction drops until children are in _ _, but satisfaction as parents and family increases.
Young adolescence
How can you not be less happy in your marriage after kids? (2)
Stay attuned to each others lives, view parenthood as a collaboration
How many good things to bad things do you need in the ratio?
5/1
Conflict is the primary cause of _ and communication problems are the top issue there.
Divorce
What is the demand withdraw pattern?
Four step pattern, Gottman four horsemen.
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, withdrawal
What is stonewalling?
When withdrawal turns into withdrawing attention to punish the other person`
How did Gottman predict divorce 90%?
Four horsemen, demand withdrawal
What are the seven principles that make marriage work? LFT ISGM
Enhance love maps
Nurture fondness
Turn towards rather than away
Let your partner influence you
Solve solvable problems
Overcome gridlock and move towards dialogue
Create shared meaning
What are the 5 magic hours per week?
5 hours per week, work daily, improve relationship satisfaction
