Chapter 3

Question 1

Reasons people seek a listener

Answer 1

• lonely/isolated (things snowball)
• the only one (validate that they are not alone)
• not knowing where to begin (help pull out problem)
• dump and run (venting)
• wanting not to be judged (know you are kind and unbias)

Question 2

Empathy vs sympathy

Answer 2

• empathy = put self in others’ shoes, feel bad WITH them

- sympathy = feel bad FOR someone, sense of sorry

Question 3

What makes people approachable

Answer 3

• demeanor (look inviting)
• understanding (have something in common)
• time (make time)
• confidentiality
• judgement (listen without showing shock)

Question 4

Barriers to listening (internal and external)

Answer 4

• distractions (ex, tech)
• listening environment (ex, places to sit, private)
• letting the mind wonder (in, engage mentally and phy)
• prejudging speaker (in, don’t assume)
• rushing to solve issue (in, let them figure it out)
• showing signs of needing to leave (in, checking time)
• dismissing feelings (in, ask question about why they feel such a way
• enabling (in, takes away discomfort by validating feelings, avoids bigger problem, solving their issue don’t bring change)

Question 5

Techniques for effective listening

Answer 5

• create listening environment (private, quiet, productive conversations)
• be mindful of nonverbal (ROLES)
• practice mindfulness as a listener

Question 6

Nonverbal communication (ROLES)

Answer 6

• relaxed
• open (arms and legs)
• lean in (more listening than talking)
• eye contact
• square up (face person, shoulder aligned with legs)

Question 7

Practice mindfulness as listener

Answer 7

• be aware of emotions and attitudes (don’t project)
• focus on listening (lean in, listen to learn not respond)
• suspend personal judgement (balance, engage in meaningful conversations, don’t be nagging mom)
• meet person where they are (recognize where they are in stage, provide appropriate resources)
• accept that person can make own choice
• refer if you can’t be nonjudgmental (different perspectives)

Question 8

encouraging people to share

Answer 8

• still here phrases (brief comments, signal still listening)
• bridges/links (encourage to build/continue)

Question 9

Motivational interviews (OARS)

Answer 9

• open ended questions (not Y or N)
• affirmations (recognize speakers strengths, positive direction)
• reflective listening (to ensure, for continuing about subject, followed by open ended)
• summaries (recap entire convo, close ending = give context, make sure on same page)