Chapter 13 - Control Flashcards
People weith panic attacks and phobias worry a lot about control. They often fear that they ware going to “lose control” of themselves and act in a bizarre or dangerous way that will ruin their life. Thy tend to expect that they should be able to “control” their thoughts and emotions, experiencing only the ones they want to have. “After all,” the reasoning goies, “it’s my mind, and I should be in control of it, right?
WRONG
The truth is, you DON’T CONTROL YOUR MIND. You can’t have only the thoughts or emotions you want. While you can influence the way your mind works, by working with thoughts and emotions in the way we discussed in Chapter 9, you can’t have absoulte control. In fact, the harder you try to prevent particular thoughts nad emotions, the more likely you are to experience them.
YOU’LL ALMOST ALWAYS GET BETTER RESULTS BY WORKING WITH THE THOUGHTS AND EMOTION THAT COME UP instead of trying to order up the thoughts and emotions.
CONTROL IS MEASURED BY BEHAVIOR - By what people actually do, not what they feel or think.
AS
As long as your behavior fits what is expected for your particular role, you’re regarded as being in control of yourself.
People with panic attacks worry because they have thoughts such as “what if, when I panic, I drive off the bridge?” or “what if I try kicking out the window on the airplane”? They assume that, because they think it, they’re liable to do it.
Are your thoughts and emotions a good redictor of your behavior?
Not really, No.
A much better predictor of what you’re likely to do in the future is what you’ve done in the past.
TO FULLY ACCEPT AND WORK WITHIN ANY ROLE LESSENS THE ANXIETY ONE FEELS.
Take a few minutes to think about your particular phobia. What is the natural role, or “job title”, that comes with your phobic situation.
In that role, what do people normally have to accept, and what do they normally control?
In what ways do you create additional anxiety for yourself by trying to control what you can’t, or by avoiding the control that is yours in that situation?
How can you handle these aspects of your role differently?
