Chapter 13 Flashcards
relationships
personalities are central to them, determine who you are attracted to and what you like in a friend
attachment
building blocks of a relationship, link between child and primary caregiver
childhood attachment
eventually becomes internalized, which shapes party of personality and sets stage for relationships/attitudes toward the world
Harlow’s rhesus money experiment
1959, raised baby rhesus monkeys with cloth or wire mothers, even when provided food by wire mother they still preferred cloth mother, monkeys with wire mothers had significantly more social problems
attachment styles
way that an individual attaches/relates to others, based on relationship with parents, developed to best suit their environment (contextual functionality)
secure attachment
trusting and open, when caregiver is source of comfort, best outcomes, positive view of self and others
anxious attachment
uncertain, clingy, when caregiver is unreliable, child may be more difficult to comfort, negative view of self and positive view of others
avoidant attachment
child avoids closeness and may be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy, when caregiver is consistently unavailable or abusive, positive self-view, negative view of others
fearful attachment
dependent on others, but uncomfortable with intimacy, fear of being rejected, negative view of self and others
strange situation
used to test attachment in young children, separate from parent and see how child reacts when they return
secure = smile and happy
anxious = keep crying and hard to comfort
avoidant = look away and won’t acknowledge mother
attachment in adult relationships
shaped by childhood, anxious attachment = high neuroticism, low conscientiousness
avoidant attachment = low extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness
stable, positive relationship can increase attachment security
dimensional approach to attachment
rather than having a particular attachment style, they are placed on 2 attachment dimensions (anxiety and avoidance) - combine to make secure, preoccupied, dismissing, and fearful attachment
big 5 and relationship satisfaction
high agreeableness and conscientiousness, lower in neuroticism = kind, stable, dutiful
high extraversion = good and making relationships… all these make a lot of sense
high openness = more likely to do self-expansion
self-expansion theory
people want to expand experience and extend identities which motivates us to enter relationships, incorporate other’s interests into ourselves
Newcomb 1961 Housing Study
phantom stranger, where participant evaluates other person’s response and the more shared values, the more they liked them - no evidence of opposites attract, BUT also no similarity effect found for big 5
3 positive forces in relationships
empathy, compassion, self-control
empathy
ability to understand and feel experiences another person is having, important for relationships and forgiveness, encourages helping behaviors and diminishes hurting behaviors
compassion
wanting to remove suffering/help those in need, motivation to ease suffer (but not feeling their emotions)
self-control
aspect of conscientiousness, help to do right thing for partner and accommodating/responding in constructive way, less likely to engage in hurtful behavior
dark triad, 3 negative forces in relationships
psychopathy, Machiavellianism, narcissism
psychopathy
lack of empathy mixed with impulsivity, not affected by suffering of others because don’t understand it
Machiavellianism
lack of empathy and willingness to exploit others, unemotional and ignore conventional morality
narcissism
lack of empathy and sense of grandiosity, care only about themselves and preserving positive self-image
behaviors typical of those high in the dark triad traits
more likely to take game playing approach or pursue those already in relationships, short-term relationships, narcissism - mate poaching
