Week 4 Readings

Question 1

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): Who is the author of the book “The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife”?

Answer 1

Sociologist Alicia Walker

Question 2

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What is the primary focus of Alicia Walker’s book?

Answer 2

The sociology of infidelity, including marriage meaning, power dynamics, social norms in affairs, and reasons women engage in them.

Question 3

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): How did women in the study view affairs as a means to preserve their marriage?

Answer 3

Affairs served as a release valve for resentment and hurt, helping women overlook challenges in their primary relationships.

Question 4

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What specific need did outside partnerships fulfill for women in sexless or orgasmless marriages?

Answer 4

They provided a space for sexual freedom and pleasure, which was lacking in their primary relationships.

Question 5

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): How did the social norms of affairs differ from other romantic relationships, according to the study?

Answer 5

There were no established expectations for behavior, allowing women to bypass typical gender norms around dating and sex.

Question 6

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What was notable about the vetting process women used for potential partners?

Answer 6

Kuperberg found that women used a very careful and deliberate vetting process when choosing potential partners for extramarital affairs. Unlike face-to-face relationship initiation, which can be more spontaneous, these women took extra precautions to ensure their safety and to protect their families. They would often assess potential partners to minimize risks, such as being exposed or harming their family life, showing a high level of calculation in maintaining discretion and control over their actions. This process highlighted their concern for the consequences of their choices.

Question 7

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What types of discussions were common among the women regarding their outside partnerships?

Answer 7

Frank discussions about sexual preferences, stamina, and scheduling occurred early on, allowing for clear boundaries.

Question 8

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What power dynamics did women experience in their outside partnerships compared to their marriages?

Answer 8

Women exercised more power and freedom in their outside partnerships, focusing solely on their pleasure.

Question 9

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): How did online platforms influence women’s behaviors in seeking out partners?

Answer 9

Women vetted for sexual preferences and skills, a practice not typical in relationships initiated face-to-face.

Question 10

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What did the study suggest about compatibility in outside partnerships compared to traditional relationships?

Answer 10

Compatibility in all areas drove associations in outside partnerships, leading women to dismiss potential partners who did not meet their preferences.

Question 11

(Kuperberg: Women Who Cheat): What was a key difference between outside partnerships formed online versus those formed in traditional settings?

Answer 11

Online partnerships emphasized decision-making based on sexual compatibility rather than the excitement of flirtation.

Question 12

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): What was the focus of Alicia Walker’s research in her book?

Answer 12

Walker examined the results of interviews with 46 heterosexual married or partnered women who sought affairs through the website Ashley Madison, exploring the sociology of infidelity, the meaning of marriage, and social norms related to affairs.

Question 13

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): How did affairs help women preserve their marriages, according to the study?

Answer 13

Affairs acted as a “release valve” for resentment and deprivation in primary partnerships, allowing women to manage their frustrations and maintain their marriages.

Question 14

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): What impact did sexless or orgasmless primary partnerships have on the women in the study?

Answer 14

These women found sexual freedom and pleasure in their outside partnerships, which were crucial for them to remain in their primary relationships.

Question 15

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): How do social norms around affairs differ from those in traditional romantic relationships?

Answer 15

In affairs, women faced no established expectations, allowing them to navigate relationships without the typical gender norms associated with dating and sex.

Question 16

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): What unique vetting process did women in the study employ for their outside partnerships?

Answer 16

Women conducted extensive vetting for sexual preferences and skills, which differed from the often blind approach taken in face-to-face relationships.

Question 17

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): How did the freedom to set boundaries affect women’s outside partnerships?

Answer 17

Women engaged in frank discussions about sexual preferences and boundaries early on, prioritizing their pleasure without emotional entanglements.

Question 18

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): What behaviors did women exhibit due to meeting partners online versus in traditional settings?

Answer 18

Women actively sought out partners based on specific sexual preferences and skills, rather than becoming emotionally invested before assessing compatibility.

Question 19

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): What are some potential pitfalls of face-to-face relationship formations compared to online interactions, as suggested by the study?

Answer 19

In face-to-face interactions, individuals often overlook incompatibilities due to emotional investment, whereas online interactions allowed women to prioritize sexual compatibility and pleasure.

Question 20

(Curington: Dating Partners Don’t Always Prefer): How did the experience of women using Ashley Madison differ from those who have affairs without actively seeking them online?

Answer 20

Women using Ashley Madison focused on compatibility in all aspects before forming partnerships, contrasting with the more impulsive nature of affairs that develop in traditional settings.

Question 21

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What defines a “hookup” in the context of this study?

Answer 21

A hookup is defined as a sexual encounter outside of exclusive relationships, ranging from kissing to intercourse.

Question 22

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What key trend was analyzed in the study regarding sexual pleasure?

Answer 22

The study analyzed orgasm rates for men and women during hookups and relationships.

Question 23

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What significant finding related to gender differences in orgasm rates was revealed?

Answer 23

Men reported higher orgasm rates than women in both hookups and relationships, with the gap being largest in first hookups.

Question 24

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): How does the gender gap in orgasm rates change with repeat partners?

Answer 24

The gender gap narrows with repeat partners and is smallest in committed relationships.

Question 25

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): In relationships, what type of sexual activity is associated with higher orgasm rates for women?

Answer 25

Women receive more oral sex in relationships, which correlates with higher orgasm rates.

Question 26

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What percentage of students reported being in relationships lasting six months or longer?

Answer 26

69% of students reported being in such relationships.

Question 27

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): Has the rise of hookup culture affected the prevalence of relationships?

Answer 27

No, the rise of hookup culture has not diminished the prevalence of relationships.

Question 28

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What are the implications of the study regarding egalitarian practices in casual sexual encounters?

Answer 28

The study calls for greater emphasis on egalitarian practices to enhance women’s sexual experiences during hookups.

Question 29

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): How has societal views about women’s premarital sex changed over the past forty years?

Answer 29

The stigma around women’s premarital sex has diminished, allowing them to enjoy it and expect satisfaction in relationships.

Question 30

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What new double standard exists regarding women’s sexual pleasure?

Answer 30

Women seeking sexual pleasure outside committed relationships are judged more harshly than men.

Question 31

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): How do men often treat hookup partners compared to relationship partners?

Answer 31

Men often treat hookup partners with less respect and feel less obligated to ensure their pleasure compared to relationship partners.

Question 32

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What is the reported relationship between self-stimulation and sexual satisfaction in hookups versus relationships?

Answer 32

Self-stimulation is less common in hookups than in relationships, contributing to lower orgasm rates for women in hookups.

Question 33

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What changes do women report over time regarding their assertiveness in hookups?

Answer 33

Many women report improved assertiveness in expressing their needs during hookups over time.

Question 34

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): How does the presence of supportive sexual behaviors impact women’s sexual satisfaction?

Answer 34

Women’s sexual satisfaction is influenced by their comfort in seeking pleasure, men’s motivation to provide it, and supportive sexual behaviors.

Question 35

(Armstrong: Orgasm in College): What is the overall impact of the sexual double standard on women’s orgasm rates in hookups?

Answer 35

The sexual double standard contributes to women feeling less entitled to pleasure in hookups, resulting in lower orgasm rates compared to relationships.

Question 36

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What cultural shift has occurred regarding dating on college campuses over the past century?

Answer 36

Traditional dating has declined in favor of casual hookups, with many young adults opting for less formal interactions such as “Netflix and chill.”

Question 37

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): How many college students reported having hooked up versus going out on a date, according to the survey analyzed?

Answer 37

Approximately 62% reported having hooked up, while 61% said they had gone out on a date.

Question 38

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What percentage of college students had hooked up without ever going on a date or being in a long-term relationship?

Answer 38

Only 8% of all students had hooked up without dating or forming a long-term relationship.

Question 39

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What did the survey reveal about the desire for long-term relationships among men and women?

Answer 39

71% of men and 67% of women wished for more opportunities to find long-term romantic relationships, with nearly two-thirds of men wanting more chances to date.

Question 40

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): How do men and women compare in their feelings of regret about hookups?

Answer 40

Only 14.5% of women and 12.5% of men regretted their last hookup, indicating similar levels of satisfaction.

Question 41

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What did research find regarding hookups leading to long-term relationships?

Answer 41

A report indicated that one-third of recent marriages began in a hookup context, suggesting that hookups can lead to lasting commitments.

Question 42

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What concerning behaviors were found to be associated with college hookups?

Answer 42

Half of all men and 46.5% of women reported engaging in binge drinking during or before hookups, which is linked to a higher risk of sexual assault.

Question 43

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): How does alcohol consumption affect sexual enjoyment during hookups?

Answer 43

Each additional drink before or during a hookup was associated with lower sexual enjoyment for both men and women.

Question 44

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What was the rate of condom use during hookups compared to dates?

Answer 44

42% of hookups included vaginal or anal sex, with only 13.3% involving unprotected sex; during dates, only 7% included unprotected sex, even though condoms were used two-thirds of the time.

Question 45

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What trend was observed among students who knew their partners very well during hookups?

Answer 45

Women who knew their partners very well were nearly 60% more likely to have unprotected sex compared to those who only knew them somewhat.

Question 46

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): How did fraternity and sorority members compare to non-members in terms of hookups and long-term relationships?

Answer 46

Fraternity and sorority members were more than twice as likely to have hooked up but were not more likely to form long-term relationships in college.

Question 47

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What relationship was found between religious service attendance and hookup behavior for women?

Answer 47

Women attending religious services at least once a month were significantly less likely to have hooked up in college and had lower rates of unprotected sex.

Question 48

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): How did religious service attendance affect male students’ hookup behavior?

Answer 48

Men who attended services a few times per year were the most likely to hook up, while those attending most frequently had similar rates to non-attenders.

Question 49

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): Which groups were found to have lower rates of unprotected sex during hookups?

Answer 49

Men hooking up with men, women in sororities, and students who met partners in dormitories had significantly lower rates of unprotected sex.

Question 50

(Kuperberg: The Date’s Not Dead): What recommendations were made for improving the safety and experiences of college hookups?

Answer 50

Spreading accurate information about risks related to binge drinking and promoting clear communication about condom use could help mitigate risks associated with hookups.

Question 51

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What traditional gender expectations exist in dating for men and women?

Answer 51

Men are often seen as strong and breadwinning, expected to initiate dates, pay, and propose, while women are viewed as passive and dependent.

Question 52

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): How have women’s roles in society changed in relation to dating norms?

Answer 52

As more women earn their own income and pursue careers, there is a growing desire for equal relationships, challenging traditional dating customs.

Question 53

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What moral dilemma do educated women face in modern dating?

Answer 53

They want equal partnerships but often find themselves adhering to traditional dating customs that reinforce gender inequality.

Question 54

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What factors contribute to women feeling pressured to follow traditional dating roles?

Answer 54

Beliefs about men’s “nature” and societal scripts that define how men and women should behave in relationships.

Question 55

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): Why is understanding dating customs important for achieving equality in relationships?

Answer 55

Dating norms can shape expectations in marriage, potentially hindering women from attaining equal status in their partnerships.

Question 56

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What was the demographic of the women interviewed in the study on dating norms?

Answer 56

38 college-educated women, aged 25 to 40, mostly dating men, from diverse middle-class backgrounds in the San Francisco Bay area.

Question 57

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): How did the study collect data from participants?

Answer 57

Through in-depth interviews lasting about three hours each, where women shared their romantic relationship experiences and views on dating norms.

Question 58

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What were some common beliefs among women regarding dating and relationships?

Answer 58

Most women preferred conventional courtship behaviors, such as men initiating dates and covering costs, even while desiring egalitarian relationships.

Question 59

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): How do women rationalize their adherence to traditional dating conventions?

Answer 59

By referencing narratives of gender difference, attributing male initiation to biological instincts and asserting that it indicates men’s interest.

Question 60

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What are some reasons women give for not asking men out?

Answer 60

Women often cite shyness, fear of rejection, and beliefs about men’s need to feel dominant as reasons for maintaining passivity in dating.

Question 61

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What is symbolic gendering in the context of dating?

Answer 61

It refers to how traditional gender roles and stereotypes influence dating behaviors and perceptions, often leading to the reinforcement of unequal dynamics.

Question 62

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What trend was observed among women regarding independence and marriage?

Answer 62

Many young women prioritize independence and self-development, often delaying marriage, and prefer relationships with shared responsibilities.

Question 63

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): How does the tension between tradition and change manifest in dating?

Answer 63

Women navigate the conflict between their aspirations for equality and the pressures of traditional dating roles, creating moral dilemmas in their relationships.

Question 64

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): How did women’s educational backgrounds influence their dating narratives?

Answer 64

Women with higher education and professional achievements were more likely to challenge gender norms, but many still adhered to traditional dating behaviors.

Question 65

(Lamont: Negotiating Courtship): What did the study find about the generalization of its findings?

Answer 65

While the sample was not representative of all women, it illustrated the persistence of conventional gender norms and their influence on women’s dating experiences.

Question 66

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What do traditional dating rules often assume about men and women in heterosexual relationships?

Answer 66

Traditional dating rules are based on the idea that men and women want different things in romantic relationships, with men taking the lead and women responding.

Question 67

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How do queer relationships challenge traditional dating practices?

Answer 67

Queer relationships reject heterosexual norms and aim to create more equal, flexible, and non-gendered relationships, differing from conventional dating scripts.

Question 68

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What common themes emerged from interviews with LGBTQ individuals regarding dating?

Answer 68

Respondents expressed values of equality, flexibility, and non-gendered care in their relationships, showing a preference for practices that meet both partners’ needs.

Question 69

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How do societal norms influence queer individuals’ dating behaviors?

Answer 69

Queer individuals navigate between mainstream culture, which promotes specific relationship ideas, and queer politics that encourage challenging those norms.

Question 70

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What were the demographics of participants in the study conducted in the San Francisco Bay Area?

Answer 70

The study involved 40 LGBTQ individuals aged 25 to 40, recruited through university alumni lists and LGBTQ organizations.

Question 71

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What did respondents feel about traditional heterosexual dating norms?

Answer 71

Many respondents found heterosexual dating norms to be limiting and undesirable, portraying them as predetermined with rigid gender roles.

Question 72

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How did queer respondents feel about emotional and household work in relationships?

Answer 72

They acknowledged that while queer relationships tended to be more equal, some inequalities persisted, with one partner often doing more emotional work.

Question 73

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What is “queernormativity,” and how does it manifest in queer relationships?

Answer 73

Queernormativity refers to the pressure within queer communities to conform to alternative norms, such as egalitarianism and non-monogamy, which can limit individual expression.

Question 74

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How did queer individuals redefine acts of love and care in their relationships?

Answer 74

They emphasized mutual expression of care, valuing personal, creative gestures over traditional gendered expectations, allowing for more individualized connections.

Question 75

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What challenges did respondents face when rejecting traditional relationship norms?

Answer 75

While aiming for more egalitarian relationships, respondents encountered new pressures to conform to community expectations, creating a tension between individual desires and community norms.

Question 76

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How did respondents approach dating practices differently from traditional heterosexual norms?

Answer 76

They based their dating practices on egalitarian principles without predetermined roles, valuing assertiveness and direct communication over traditional initiation scripts.

Question 77

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What was the significance of rituals and personal gestures in queer relationships?

Answer 77

Respondents highlighted the importance of creating unique rituals and personal acts of care, like cooking or celebrating milestones together, to deepen their connections.

Question 78

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): In what ways do queer relationships foster adaptability and negotiation?

Answer 78

Respondents emphasized the need for flexibility in roles and responsibilities, allowing them to adjust to changing circumstances and individual needs over time.

Question 79

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): What is the tension highlighted in queer relationships regarding societal norms?

Answer 79

There is a conflict between the desire for liberation from traditional norms and the pressure to conform to new, often radical expectations within queer communities.

Question 80

(Lamont: We Can Write the Script): How do queer relationships contribute to broader discussions on gender equality?

Answer 80

By challenging heteronormative practices, queer individuals encourage ongoing reevaluation of relationship dynamics, potentially influencing societal views on gender and equality.