Parenting Readings Flashcards
What is a “stalled revolution” in family life?
It refers to the contradiction where most American mothers work outside the home, but the “ideal worker” is still seen as a man with no home obligations, and the “ideal parent” is still considered to be a mother focused on home care.
How does race and class affect the experience of motherhood in the U.S.?
African American mothers, including middle-class ones, have historically worked outside the home, and their experiences of motherhood and work differ from those of white mothers, who have faced more societal expectations to stay at home.
How do African American middle-class mothers view work and motherhood?
They often see paid employment as part of their motherhood duties, not as a detraction from them, and they rarely feel the need to justify working outside the home.
What role did African American women’s historical experience play in their approach to work and family?
Historically, African American women had to work outside the home, which influenced the development of positive views of womanhood and motherhood that integrated family, career, and community.
How do African American mothers view extended family and community in raising children?
They value extended family and community networks for childcare and support, which are seen as crucial for balancing work and family life, rather than as a backup.
How does culture influence African American middle-class mothers’ decisions to work?
Cultural expectations within their communities often view women’s paid work positively, with many seeing it as a way to model independence and self-reliance for their children.
What are “gendered expectations” in the context of the family?
Gendered expectations are societal norms that dictate how men and women should behave, particularly in terms of child-rearing and household labor, often leading to an unequal distribution of labor in heterosexual couples.
How does “doing gender” manifest in family life?
“Doing gender” in family life means expressing masculinity or femininity through household roles and interactions, shaped by cultural, social, and family expectations. For example, fathers might “do masculinity” by working outside the home, while mothers “do femininity” by managing caregiving. These behaviors, influenced by age, class, and culture, define how tasks and authority are divided within the family.
What impact does heteronormativity have on family structures?
Heteronormativity enforces the idea that heterosexual, nuclear families with a stay-at-home mother are the ideal, influencing both societal expectations and structural policies, even as family forms become more diverse.
How does heteronormativity affect same-sex and queer families?
Heteronormativity marginalizes same-sex and queer families, often excluding them from social and legal rights, and imposes norms that force them to adapt to the traditional heterosexual family model for recognition and equality.
What does “queering” family and motherhood mean?
“Queering” family and motherhood refers to any act of mothering that challenges or deconstructs societal norms around gender, family structure, and traditional roles, making room for diverse family configurations.
How do same-sex families challenge traditional assumptions about motherhood and family?
Same-sex families destabilize the idea of the traditional family by rejecting norms such as the biological father-mother structure and the gendered division of labor, simply by existing in everyday life.
What is an example of everyday resistance from same-sex families?
An example is when a parent changes forms asking for “Mother” and “Father” to reflect their family structure, challenging assumptions about gender and biological ties in family life.
How does queer family formation challenge heteronormative views of biology and reproduction?
Queer families often involve non-biological connections, such as egg or sperm donors, surrogates, or transgender individuals, thus challenging the biological foundation of “real” parenthood.
What challenges do non-biological parents in same-sex families face?
Non-biological parents, such as the second mother in a lesbian couple, often face challenges in gaining legitimacy within family and social institutions that prioritize biological ties.
How do same-sex and queer families challenge gendered divisions of labor in family roles?
Same-sex families, through activities like volunteering in schools or helping in classrooms, expose gendered assumptions about who should perform certain parenting tasks.
What is the “politics of sameness” in relation to same-sex families?
The politics of sameness pressures same-sex families to conform to heteronormative ideals, focusing on proving they are similar to heterosexual families, which obscures their unique strengths and contributions.
How does homonormativity affect same-sex families?
Homonormativity pressures gays and lesbians to conform to traditional heteronormative values like marriage, economic individualism, and family roles, often marginalizing those who do not fit these expectations.
What is the impact of homonormativity on social and legal rewards for same-sex families?
Same-sex families that resemble traditional, monogamous, and gender-conventional families are more likely to receive legal and social acceptance, while others, based on race, gender identity, or socioeconomic status, may face exclusion.
What is transgressive mothering?
Transgressive mothering involves families and mothers who defy heteronormative standards of gender, sexual orientation, and family structures, queering traditional roles and interactions with social institutions like motherhood and family.
How does queering motherhood challenge societal norms?
By queering motherhood, such as in the case of a masculine or trans-identified mother, societal assumptions about gender, sexuality, and family structures are disrupted, challenging the traditional alignment of femininity with mothering.
How do gay fathers disrupt heteronormative gender roles in parenting?
Gay fathers challenge the concept of “fathering a child” by adopting mother-like roles in parenting, despite not fitting traditional gender norms, and some gay men even identify as mothers in their parenting practices.
How does a masculine or gender-nonconforming appearance challenge perceptions of motherhood?
A masculine or gender-nonconforming mother disrupts the assumption that femininity is required for mothering, as seen in trans men or genderqueer parents, whose appearance challenges the association between reproduction, mothering, and femininity.
What does the concept of “single mother” reveal about social positions and gender?
Being a single mother highlights inequalities in parenting. Society often expects single mothers to handle both caregiving and financial responsibilities without adequate support. This can limit resources like affordable childcare, fair wages, and housing opportunities, making it harder for single mothers to provide for their families. It can also reduce their power, as they may face workplace discrimination, limited social support, or judgment for not fitting traditional family norms. Additionally, legal support can be insufficient—for example, they may struggle with custody battles, inadequate child support enforcement, or navigating complex legal systems that favor traditional two-parent households. These barriers make single motherhood especially challenging.
What is the impact of nontraditional gender roles on children’s development?
Children raised in nontraditional families, like those with lesbian or gay parents, may develop fewer gendered preferences and exhibit traits like increased empathy, challenging the idea that children need male or female role models for proper development.
How do radical departures from heteronormative family structures affect children?
Children raised in radical family structures may be more aware of gender inequality and develop a less rigid understanding of gender, leading to more diverse interests and behaviors that challenge traditional gender norms.
What is the role of gender in everyday mothering tasks?
While gender identity may not impact the daily tasks of mothering, it influences societal perceptions of who performs these tasks, how they are interpreted, and the value placed on them, contributing to gender inequality.
Why is further research needed on queer and non-normative family structures?
Due to the lack of extensive research, further exploration is needed to understand how families outside heteronormative and gender-normative structures differ in child-rearing and the long-term effects on their children’s development.
What is the general societal context mothers face regarding motherhood and work?
Mothers live in a society where child-rearing is devalued, while profit, efficiency, and “getting ahead” are emphasized. Both ideologies (intensive mothering and work-focused ideals) influence mothers’ daily lives.
How does the cultural image of motherhood create ambivalence?
Mothers are presented with two contrasting cultural images: the “traditional mother” (stay-at-home) and the “supermom” (balancing work and home), creating a cultural ambivalence about the roles of mothers.
What are the critiques mothers face from each other in the “mommy wars”?
Stay-at-home mothers are often criticized as lazy and unproductive, while working mothers are accused of neglecting their children, leading to conflict between the two groups.
How does the “mommy wars” narrative impact mothers’ sense of adequacy?
Mothers may feel inadequate due to societal expectations, leading to guilt and self-doubt. The pressures from both the stay-at-home and working mother roles can undermine their sense of fulfillment.
What is meant by “ideological work” in the context of motherhood?
“Ideological work” refers to how mothers justify their choices (whether working or staying home) to align with cultural ideologies, helping them cope with societal expectations and pressures.
How do employed mothers view the benefits of work outside the home?
Many employed mothers value work for providing intellectual stimulation, adult interaction, a sense of recognition, and a break from the demands of children.
Why do stay-at-home mothers sometimes feel insecure about their role?
Stay-at-home mothers may feel confined, lose their sense of identity, and worry about being perceived as lazy or unproductive by society.
What feelings do stay-at-home mothers have regarding their long-term plans?
Some stay-at-home mothers plan to return to work when their children are older, seeking personal growth, recognition, and opportunities outside the home.
How do stay-at-home mothers cope with feelings of inadequacy?
Many stay-at-home mothers form support groups to cope with the societal pressures and criticisms they face for choosing to stay at home, finding solidarity in shared experiences.
What societal pressures do stay-at-home mothers face regarding their role?
Stay-at-home mothers often face discomfort and judgment from others, such as being asked if they have a job, which reflects the societal assumption that staying home is unimportant.
How do stay-at-home mothers try to counter negative perceptions of their role?
Many stay-at-home mothers form support groups and engage in outside activities, such as volunteering, to stay connected socially and challenge the image of the “lazy” housewife.
What is the primary way stay-at-home mothers cope with ambivalence about their decision?
Stay-at-home mothers engage in ideological work by justifying their choice through reasons like good mothering, prioritizing children’s needs, and critiquing the challenges children face when mothers work outside the home.
What argument do stay-at-home mothers make about the impact of working outside the home?
They argue that children suffer from a lack of guidance and emotional support when mothers work outside the home, citing concerns about daycare and the emotional needs of children.
How do some working mothers feel about their roles and the balance between work and family?
Working mothers often feel guilty, inadequate, and torn between the demands of their jobs and the desire to be more present for their children, leading to concerns about providing enough “quality time.”
What is the “double shift” many working mothers experience?
The “double shift” refers to the pressure of balancing paid work with the responsibilities of raising children, leading to feelings of stress, time scarcity, and a sense of inadequacy.
How do some mothers who work feel about the time they spend with their children?
Some mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children, particularly when they are tired from work, and worry they are missing out on quality time and guidance.
What dilemma do some working mothers face regarding their career and family?
Working mothers often feel torn between their professional identities and the desire to be present for their children, questioning whether they are providing enough love, guidance, and nurturing.
How do some working mothers view the societal pressure to work outside the home?
Many feel societal pressure to live up to the image of the “supermom” who manages both a successful career and family, despite the unrealistic nature of this portrayal in media.
What do some working mothers wish for regarding their time with their children?
Some wish they could spend more time with their children, particularly to provide guidance and support, and feel conflicted about balancing work and family life.
What concerns do paid working mothers have about leaving their children with caregivers?
Paid working mothers worry that their children may not get enough love, nurturing, education, discipline, and values. They also feel that someone else, the caregiver, is acting as the “mother,” which can be emotionally difficult.
How do working mothers express ambivalence about being away from their children?
Working mothers feel torn between the demands of work and their desire to be with their children. They often create lists of reasons their work is beneficial, such as providing financial stability or teaching their children values, but still feel guilty about not being at home.
What is the ideology of intensive mothering?
Intensive mothering involves child-centered, emotionally absorbing, labor-intensive, and financially expensive care. It emphasizes that mothers are primarily responsible for their children’s well-being and development, regardless of whether they work or stay at home.
How do working mothers cope with their ambivalence about working outside the home?
Many working mothers argue that their participation in the labor force is beneficial for their children, providing financial security, helping their children grow through daycare experiences, and even improving the quality of the time they spend with their children.
What are common justifications used by working mothers for their labor force participation?
Working mothers justify their roles by saying their income is necessary for the children’s material needs, daycare enhances their children’s social development, and that a break from children can lead to more quality time with them. Additionally, they argue that their own happiness as a mother is crucial to their children’s happiness.
