Unit 9: Stresses & Strains Flashcards
Relational Value
the degree to which others their relationships with us to be valuable and important
Perceived Relational Value
the apparent importance that others attach to their relationships with us
Relational Devaluation
apparent decreases in other’s regard for us
Ostracism
occurs when people are give the “cold shoulder” and ignored by those around them
Jealousy
can involve a variety of feelings, ranging from all the way from sad dejection to actual pride that one’s partner is desirable to others, but the three feelings that define jealousy best are hurt, anger, and fear
Reactive Jealousy
occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship
Suspicious Jealousy
occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions do not fit the facts at hand
Deception
intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue
Deceiver’s Distrust
when people lie to others, they often begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest and trustworthy as a result
Truth Bias
occurs when people assume that their partners are usually telling the truth
Betrayals
disagreeable, hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we reasonably dud not expect such treachery
Forgiveness
a decision to give up your perceived or actual right to get even with, or hold in debt, someone who has wronged you
What is relational devaluation?
apparent decreases in others’ regard for us
devaluation of us from our partner
signal to us that they don’t care about us as much
What is relational value?
the degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable and important
the person who is hurt may see the situation as a big deal where the person who does the hurting does not
What is the relational devaluation in lab study by Winkel & Leary (2004)?
they were told number on screen were the confederates rating of them
four groups: getting high scores, getting low scores, low end –> high, high end –> low
worst emotions were people who were accepted right away the were rejected
might have a broken sociometer: the self esteem we experience is a signal of how much we are accepted in our environment
even feel low self esteem when rejected by a group we don’t agree with
What is ostracism?
people are ignored
if partner is ignoring us they don’t love us as much as we thought they did
What are the goals of ostracism?
punish their partners: not good if person receiving it doesn’t know why they are being punished
avoid confrontation
calm down
What is jealousy?
results from the potential loss of a valued relationship to a real or imagined rival
What is the difference between jealousy and envy?
envy: when someone has something you want
jealousy: have something and don’t want to use it
What is the difference between reactive jealousy and suspicious jealousy?
reactive: there has been an event that makes you think they’ll leave
suspicious: jealous of a perceived/ambiguous threat that isn’t real
Who gets us jealous?
physically attractive, more money
traits you wish you had
threatened by people who have high mate value
What are some positive and constructive ways of coping with jealousy?
reminding yourself of your positive qualities
talking to your partner about it
think about how you have positive things other than the relationship
Is getting your partner just a little jealous ever an acceptable thing to do?
depends on intent, how quickly things could turn
give partner an excuse to cheat
people may be into it
Is getting your partner jealous a good idea?
men will turn away, women will try to improve relationship
