Unit 11: Dissolution & Maintenance Flashcards
Stress Spillover
occurs when we bring surly moods home and interact irascibly with our innocent partners
Enduring Dynamics Model
suggest that spouses bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities that surface during their courtship
according to this model, then, marriages that are headed for divorce are weaker than others from the very beginning
Emergent Distress Model
suggests that the problematic behavior that ultimately destroys a couple begins after they marry
when they begin, there is not discernable difference between marriages that will succeed and those that will fail
Disillusionment Model
suggests that couples typically begin their marriages with rosy, romanticized views of their relationship that are unrealistically positive
then, as time goes by and the spouses stop working as hard to be adorable and charming to each other, reality erodes these pleasant fictions
Preserving Indirectness
the single most common manner in which premarital relationships ended gradual dissatisfaction that led one of the two partners to make repeated efforts to dissolve the relationship without ever announcing that intention and without engaging in any attempts to improve or repair the partnership
Relational Cleansing
people may change or hide their relationship status on profile pages, defriend their ex-partners or block their texts, and edit the photos on their walls
Churning
occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together (in some cases, doing so several times)
Parental Loss
children are presumed to benefit from having two parents who are devoted to their care, and children who lose a parent for any reason, including divorce, are likely to be less well off
Parental Stress Model
holds that the quality, not the quantity, of the parenting a child receives is key, and any stressor (including divorce) that distracts or debilitates one’s parents can have detrimental effects
Economic Hardship
it may be the impoverished circumstances that sometimes follow divorce, not just the divorce per se, that adds to children’s burdens
Parental Conflict
acrimonious interactions between parents appear to be hard on children, and whether or not a divorce occurs, conflict in the home is associated with more anxiety, poorer health, and more problematic behavior in children
Relationship Maintenance Mechanisms
the strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships
Cognitive Interference
they perceive greater overlap between their partners’ lives and their own, and they use more plural pronouns, with we, us, and ours replacing I, me and mine
Positive Illusions
idealizing each other and perceiving their relationship in the best possible light
Perceived Superiority
committed partners tend to think that their relationships are better than most, and the happier they are, the more exceptional they consider their relationships to be
Inattention to Alternatives
contented lovers display an inattention to alternatives that leaves them relatively uninterested and unaware of how well they could be doing in alternative relationships
Derogation of Tempting Alternatives
allows people to feel that other potential partners are less attractive than the ones they already have
Willingness to Sacrifice
committed people are often willing to make various personal sacrifices, such as doing things they would prefer not to do, or not doing things that they would like to do, in order to promote the well-being of their partners or their relationships
Prayer
careful studies have found that those who begin praying for the success and well-being of their partners become more satisfied with the sacrifices they make, and more forgiving, too
Michelangelo Phenomenon
when our partners encourage us to be all that we can be – supporting the development of skills we want to learn, endorsing our acceptance of promising new roles and responsibilities, and promoting the self-growth we seek – both our relationships and our personal well-being are enhanced
Accomodation
the willingness to control the impulse to respond in kind to a partner’s provocation and to instead respond constructively
Self-Control
the ability to manage one’s impulses, control one’s thoughts, persevere in pursuit of desired goals, and curb unwanted behavior
Play
couples are usually content when they find ways to engage in novel, challenging, exciting, and pleasant activities together
Savouring
couples are more satisfied when they pay attention to shared pleasures, enjoying them more thoroughly through eager anticipation, alert appreciation as they unfold, and gratifying reminiscence when they are done
