stresses and strains Flashcards
define
relational value
the degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable, important, or close.
define
maximal inclusion
others seek us out and go out of our way to interact with them
define:
active inclusion
others welcome us but don’t seek us out
define:
passive inclusion
others allow us to be included
define:
ambivalence
others don’t care if included or not
define
passive exclusion
others ignore us but not avoid
define:
active exclusion
others avoid us; tolerate if absolutely neccessary
define:
maximal exclusion
other banish, send us away
define
ostracism
when you are ignored by those around you
list
consequences of ostracism
- painful, stressful
- ostracized partner may end the relationship
- antagonistic reactions
list
types of jealosy
- reactive jealousy
- suspicious jealousy
define
reactive jealousy
jealousy occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship
define
suspicious jealousy
jealousy that occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and ones suspicions do not fit fact at hand
list
who is prone to jealousy
- people with low Clalts
- feelings of inadequecy
- low self-esteem
- insecure attachment styles
- high in neuroticism
- low in agreeableness
answer
which gender is more likely to be jealous of sexual infidelity?
men
answer:
which gender is more likely to be jealous of emotional infidelity
women
list
responses to jealousy
- lash out in harmful ways
- spying/restricting partners freedom, derogating/theratening rival
- express concerns/make themselves a better partner
answer:
women work to preserve what?
relationship
answer:
men work to preserve what?
ego
define:
deception
intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deciever knows to be untrue
list
types of deception
- outright lying
- conceal info
- divert attention from vital facts
- mix truth and lies to create half-truths
Answer:
what percentage of people lied to their partner in the last week
97%
define
recievers distrust
we distrust people we lie to
Answer
who is more likely to think their lie is harmful; the recipient or the liar
the recipient
list
risk factors for lying
- extraverted/high self monitor
- concerned with impression management
- insecure attachment styles
list
people who are better at lying
- good social skills
- people who don’t have much to lose
true or false
there are unique behaviors attributed to deceit
false
define:
truth bias
assume partner is telling the truth
list
types of betrayals
- infidelity
- gossiping behind back
- spending too much time elsewhere
- lying
- teasing in hurtful way
- breaking promises
- failing to support
- abandoning relationship
list
risk factors for betrayal
- being a social science, education, business or humanities major
- youth
- low levels of education
- not religious
- being unhappy/maladjusted
list
two sides of betrayal
- betrayer often thinks the actions are harmless
- betrayed thinks they are harmful
list
reasons that revenge doesn’t work
- unbalanced perceptions of how bad wrong doing was
- cycle of harm created
- revenge isn’t satisfying
describe
vengence seekers
personality traits
- high neuroticism
- low agreeableness
- greedy
- manipulative
- less happy
define
forgiveness
giving up the right to retaliate for others wrongdoing
Answer
?/5 men have cheated on their spouse
3
Answer
?/5 of women have cheated on their spouse
2
list
good apology characteristics
- identifies exact behavior that was problematic
- recognizes how behavior was harmful
- express regret (but dont dwell on own feelings)
- makes a promise about how it will not happen again
- includes a statement about why the relationship is important
