Sex and Infidelity / Ch. 9 Flashcards
Gloria
Sexual behaviour
sexuality is the primary feature distinguishing romantic relationships from others
- sex cannot be directly observered/hard to study
- studying sex is mostly self report
Sex in relationships- how often do couples have sex
cohabiting couples: 12.2x/month
married couples: 6.5/month
- married couples happier, and less likely to break up
What predicts sexual frequency
age and relationsip length
- first year of relationship couples have more sex than they wil ever have again
Why does sexual frequency decline
- habituation - become used to paretner, less sexual desire and arousal
- children - pregnancy is tiring, once baby is born couples have trounle reestablishing sexual inticmay, kids are exhausting
- getting older
- biggest predictor of sexual frequency in marriages (decreases) ; age, poor marital satisfaction, poor health, having baby, being catholic (birth control, they dont use it)
Predictors of sexual frequency (increase)
- newlyweds
- being remarried
- being sterlie
- wanting a child
Getting older and sex
- 50-54yr olds have sex 5.5x a month
- 65-69yr olds have sex 2.4x a month
- 75 and over, less than 1x a month
- not a uniform decline
- some couples keep going and some stop
- getting older affects health usually
- they replace vaginal sex with other stuff
How important is sex to relationships
- sexual frequency associated with relationship satisfaction
- sex may be apart of calculating rewards/costs (interdependece theory)
- sexual frequency declines overtime but satisfaction doesn’t
- having sex more than once a week doesn’t really make you any happier
What predicts good sex
- relationship satisfaction
- feelings of love
- secure attachment
- commitment
- relationship quality
What is sexual satisfaction derived from
- more frequent sex
- greater variety of sexual activity
- occuarance and consistency of orgasm (esp women)
- communcation about sex (high reciprocity in intitation, acceptance, disclosure of likes and dislikes
Why do people have sex - motivations for sex
- reproduction, pleasure, intimacy, gain sexual experience, avoid conflict, impress friends
Motivation and sex study
- undergrads in 14 days study
- each day wrote about: relationship well being, sexual behavior and motives for sex
- approach motives - aimed toward obtaining positive outcomes
- avoid motives - aimed toward avoiding negative outcomes
- when people had sex for approach motives, they experienced more closeness, satisfaction and less conflict with partner
- people who used avoid motives, experienced less satisfaction, closeness and more conflict, more likely to break up 1 month later
Hooking up
- physical intimacy with a person without a mutaully agreed upon commitment
Hooking up - study
- measured numbers of variables at time 1
- assessed number of hookups at time 2 (4 months later)
- 80% of ps reported at least one hook up
- 20% of ps report non penatrative hookup
- 58% reported oral sex or intercourse
Biggest predictor of hooking up
increase and decrease
- alcohol use (increase)
- previous hookup experience (increase)
- relationship awareness (decrease)
- religiosity (decrease)
- loneliness (hookup less)
Study
Consequences of hooking up (hu)
- 500 ps who reported hooking up w someone at least once
- asked to think about day after hu, how do you feel
- people report more positve emotions (happy, desirables, pleased, excited) than negative ones
- men reported more positive emotions
Condom use effects on people
- has an effect on peoples emotions
- diff for women and men
- women who reported using condoms tended to report fewer positive emotions and more negative ones - feeling more empty, dissapointed awkward; they feel less close to partner with condom on
- men who reported using condoms had the exact same level of positive emotions compared to men who didn’t use them; felt safer bc less chance of baby
Alcohol use and hooking up
- associated with fewer positive emotions and more negative ones
Can FWB turn into more?
- people often report wanting to star relationships with hookup or FWB
- 25% of men and 40% of women hope their bookups will develop into a commited relationship
- only 10-20% acctually transition to a committed relationships
FWB and becoming committed study
- out of 764 ps in exclusive relationships; 150 ps started as FWB
- when they compare the two groups
- peope who start relationships with FWB report lower relationship satisfaction
- no difference for groups on : quality of commuication, ambiguity of commitment, likelihood of breaking up a year later
- starting relationship off FWB is pretty rare
What did ps constitue as cheating (kruger)
- gave ps each of the 27 items and asked to rate what they thought was considered cheating
- most representative = intercourse
- least representative = giving 5$ to other person
Ps listed behaviours they think are unfaithful (yarab)
- cheating pretty common for both men and women
- biggest difference is about fantasies
700 college student study
How common is cheating
- asked, in a relationship have you ever kissed or had some sexual contact with someone else
- 50% of women
- 75% of men
- Have you ever had intercourse
- 33% of women
- 50% of men
- men report cheating more …
How common is infidelity
72% of ps reported emotional infiedleity
48% of ps reported physical infidelity
- emoitonal is more common
Prevalence of infidelity
- rates of cheating are relatively high
- but no gender differences
Most common cheating for men
- casually flirted
- fantasized about sexual play
- having mild romantic feelings
- sexual attraction to someone else
- group study
- fantasize about intercourse
Most common cheating for women
- casually flirted
- group dinner
- group study
- group lunch
- mild romantic feelings
- was sexually attracted to
Cheating among married couples
- survey over 1000 married ps - asked how many people have you had sexual intercourse with in the past 12 months
- 29 respondents said more than 1 person
- when they surveyed 4994 married women not that many were unfaithful (1.08 on computer survey) 6.8% face to face
- cheating is less common among married people compared to undergrads
Why do people cheat
- sexuality (need for variety)
- sexual incompatibility
- emotional satisfaction
- social context (opportunity, separation)
- attitudes/norms - monogamy is not it for these people
- revenge/hostility
Demographic predictors of cheating (gender)
- in early studies it showed men cheated more but now there is not really a gender difference
Demographic predictors of cheating (religion)
- religious people cheat less
education (cheating)
- highly educated individuals more likely to report infidelity than less educated individuals
- maybe due to more opportunites to cheat
demographic predictors of cheating - INCOME
- individuals with higher income prone to infidleity
- more opportunities to cheat
- one study found that 50% of cheater found their extradyadic partner through work
Interpersonal predictors of cheating (relationship quality)
- not at all
interpersonal predictors of cheating - commitment
- less committed people more likely to cheat
- because they are less satisfied, they have higher quality of alternatives and less investment