Communication / Chapter 5 Flashcards
Meg
Couple spend about ___ hours a week in communication with one another
14
Couples who communicate with _____, ______, and ______ experience higher relationship quality than couples who communicate with ______, ______, and _____
warmth, positivity, affection; anger, hostility, contempt
What are the 2 challenges of communication?
Encoding and decoding
What is encoding?
communicating effectively to someone
What is decoding?
Accurately interpreting what someone is trying to communicate with you
The _____ and ____ of a couple’s communications predicts their relationship well-being
sensitivity and accuracy
Study: Gender and Communication (Noller) - Encoding and Decoding
What was the study about?
married couples’ abilility to encode and decode
Study: Gender and Communication (Noller) - Encoding and Decoding
What were the main findings in terms of gender and encoding/decoding?
Wives are better encoders (especially positive messages)
Study: Gender and Communication (Noller) - Encoding and Decoding
What were the implications of this study?
Might explain why communication difficulties are associated with marital quality
Follow-up Study: Gender and Communication (Noller) - Encoding and Decoding
What was the study about?
Shown a video of strangers sending similar messages
Married people decoded someone who was not their spouse
Follow-up Study: Gender and Communication (Noller) - Encoding and Decoding
What were the main findings?
marital satisfaction and decoding abilities were unrelated
dissatisfied couples show differences in performance, not skill; low marital quality worse at decoding spouse than stranger
What is empathetic accuracy?
the ability to correctly infer another person’s thoughts and emotions
T/F: there are gender differences in empathetic accuracy
Controversial - some studies = no difference, some find women better than men
Empathetic Accuracy Study: Motivation or Ability? (Klein & Hodges)
What was the study about?
undergraduate students
3 conditions: control, feedback on performance, money ($2) for each correct response
watched a video of a female discussing academic problem
participants asked to infer what the person was thinking/feeling in the moment
Empathetic Accuracy Study: Motivation or Ability? (Klein & Hodges)
What were the main findings?
motivation (feedback or money) eliminates gender differences for decoding
extra motivation (money) makes people more accurate
Most relationships begin with a form of ______ communication
nonverbal
What are the highest rated pickup lines among women (from men)?
- hi
- do you want to dance?
- want to play frisbee?
what are the highest rated pickup lines among men (from women)?
- sitting along - care to join?
- hi
- help me start my car?
What are the lowest rated pickup lines among women (from men)?
- is that your hair?
- bet i can outdrink you
- notice me throwing a football?
what are the lowest rated pickup lines among men (from women)?
- meeting in past life
- long time since i had a boyfriend
- gorgeous chassis, can i look under the hood?
T/F: people generally prefer indirect pickup lines
False
T/F: Opening lines that are intended to be cute or flippant are consistently rated as the least appealing
True
T/F: Women rate sexually loaded pickup lines even more negatively than direct requests for sex
True
Study: Asking people out on campus (Clark and Hatfield)
What was the study about?
undergraduate students
asking:
1. “would you go out with me tonight?”
2. “would you come to my apartment tonight?”
3. “want to have sex tonight?”
assessing gender differences for direct requests for sex
Study: Asking people out on campus (Clark and Hatfield)
What were the main findings?
Men more receptive than women to direct requests for sex
What are two factors associated with men being more receptive than women to direct requests for sex?
Evolution: men are more comfortable with casual sex
Socialization: women are socialized to be sexually conservative
What are 3 things women perceive in men who make sexual propositions?
- more dangerous
- more likely to have STD
- less likely to pleasure them
What are two examples of how people communicate to initiate sex?
direct and indirect
These are examples of _____?
“are you sleepy?”
- lying on bed
- kissing
- touching
nonverbal sexual communication
T/F: Most consent happens verbally
False
T/F: Couples who communicate well with
one another about sex tend to feel happier about their sex lives, and happier about their relationship in general
True
T/F: those who share more
about their sexual preferences with their partners tend to be less satisfied with their sex lives
False
What are 4 reasons why people have difficulty communicating about sex?
- worry about unshared preferences
- believe it is unnecessary
- ashamed/embarassed
- worry about making partner feel inadequate
Study: Sexual self-disclosure (MacNeil & Byers)
What was the study about?
104 couples, most married on avg 15yrs
amount of self-disclosure
rated sexual satisfaction
Study: Sexual self-disclosure (MacNeil & Byers)
What are the main findings?
most couples dont communicate
understood 62% of likes and only 26% of dislikes
more disclosure = more sexual satisfaction (effect 6x bigger for men)
more inaccuracy = less satisfying sex and less orgasms (women)
Communication is important for what 4 relationship processes?
attraction, intimacy, partner regulation, sex, (and more)
T/F: communication is closely linked to relationship quality
True
Communication is particularily important in _____
conflict
What was the outcome for the in-class demonstration for disclosure and liking?
high disclosure vs. low disclosure and feelings of closeness
subjective closeness is higher in high disclosure condition
The in-class demonstration was based on ____’s study of interpersonal closeness
Aron
What is social penetration theory?
relationships develop through changes in communication
According to penetration theory, as relationships develop there is an increase in _______ and _______.
breadth, depth
Social penetration theory: what is breadth?
the number of topics people talk about
Social penetration theory: what is depth?
the personal meaning of the topics they discuss
What is the interpersonal process model of intimacy?
Only disclosing is not enough to build intimacy, people must be responsive (understanding, validating, caring)
Partner regulation also means …..
communicating for change
People in relationships communicate strategically to ___________, and _____________
convey what they are thinking and feeling; improve relationships
Study: Partner regulation (overall)
What is the study about?
couples identify something they want to change in partner, assessed strategies of communication (e.g., directness)
Assessed short- and long-term effectiveness
Study: Partner regulation (overall)
What did they find?
women use more negative communication strategies
in short-term - direct/negative least successful, indirect/positive most successful
long-term - direct strategies produced greater change (even negative ones)
In the long-term, what communication strategies are most successful for partner regulation?
direct
In the short-term, what communication strategies are most successful for partner regulation?
indirect/positive
In the short-term, what communication strategies are least successful for partner regulation?
direct/negative
What are the two communication styles that are direct/negative?
Coercion and autocracy
What are the two communication styles that are indirect/negative?
manipulation and supplication
rational reasoning is a _____/______ communication style
direct/positive
soft positive is a ____/____ communication style
indirectpositive
What is a coercion (direct/negative) communication style?
-Derogate partner (criticize, belittle, insult)
-Threaten partner (i.e., withhold love)
-Display negative affect (anger, irritation)
-Accuse/blame partner
What is an autocracy (direct/negative) communication style?
-Demand partner think, feel, behave a certain way
-Talk from position of authority
- Attempt to exert superiority
What is a manipulative (indirect/negative) communication style?
-Attempt to make partner feel guilty
-Remind them of your past favours and their past
transgressions
-Appeal to partner’s love and concern
What is a supplication (indirect/negative) communication style?
-Express emotional hurt (tears, pouting)
-Debase self (portray self as less wroth than
partner)
-Emphasize negative consequences of situation
for partner
What communication style is this?
- Soften persuasion attempts (i.e., minimize
problem, point out partner’s strengths) - Encourage partner to explain their point of view
- Validate partner’s views
- Humor
soft positive (indirect/positive)
What communication style is this?
-Use and seek factual/accurate information
-Use logic and rational arguments
-Explain behavior and point of view
Rational reasoning (direct/positive)
T/F: men use more negative strategies than women
False
