relationships and communication Flashcards
the survival of our species relies on
relationships
3 conditions that characterize healthy relationships according to Carl Rogers
genuineness
empathy
unconditional positive regard
genuineness
honest and accurate communication of thoughts and feelings
empathy
trying to understand someone else’s position
unconditional positive regard
the ability to experience another person without judgement and negative feelings
principle elements we bring to all our relationships is how we generally feel about ourselves
self concept, esteem, acceptance
____often inform adult identities
childhood experiences
cultural experiences learned in childhood affect the way we
relate to others
gender role
activities, abilities, characteristics deemed culturally appropriate for us based in our sex
socializing influences
caregivers, media, societal norms
we learn to communicate in ___ ways, but we decide how to communicate based on ___
gendered ways
the situation
healthy friendships help teach
tolerance, sharing, trust
most basic and profound human emotions
love
love can encompass opposites
affection, anger
excitement, boredom
stability, change
bonds, freedom
often, love is entwined with
sexuality
___ legitimized by love
sex
many Americans now use ___ not ___ to make decisions about sex
personal standards, social norms
positive factors that draw people together
love
excitement and passion, adds fascination and pleasure
sex
reflects responsibility, reliability, and faithfulness
commitment
feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and boundedness
intimacy
motivational drives and sexual attraction
passion
relates to the decision to remain together, with the ultimate goal of making long-term plans
commitment
Robert sternbergs triangular theory of love
intimacy, passion, commitment
relationships based off of ___ of stern bergs values are more likely to survive
2-3
passionate love involves both
pleasure and pain
overtime, physical intimacy and excitement tend to ____, but pleasure ____
diminish, increase
commitment is maintained unless
other aspects of the relationship deteriorate
key to enduring relationships is
transforming passion into an intimate love based on closeness, caring, promise of shared future
___ and ___ are necessary for a relationship to deepen
honest, openness
to function well in life requires a wide range of abilities including
self-awareness, self-discipline, empathy, understand others perspectives, communicate effectively in short
the key to developing EI lies in cultivating
mindfulness
ability to dispassionately observe thoughts and feelings as they occur
mindfulness
___ or ____ commitment makes it difficult to maintain a relationship
unequal, premature
unrealistic expectations can damage intimacy
expecting partner to change a
assuming your partner has the same opinions, priorities, interests, and goals as you
believing that a relationship will fulfill all of your personal, financial, intellectual and social needs
competitiveness can detract from the sense of
connectedness, equality, mutuality
jealousy
sign of insecurity or possessiveness
jealousy can introduce
violence
key to jealousy
healthy self-esteem, clear communication
ability to ask for and give support
supportiveness
healthy intimate relationships are
egalitarian
egalitarian characterized by
mutual respect, reciprocity, collaboration, consensus building
relationship may be unhealthy if little value is placed on
time spent together
may indicate a relationship is not salvageable
criticism, contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal
breakups can be made easier and more positive
give the relationship a fair chance
be fair and honest
be tactful and compassionate
if you feel rejected, make time for resolving your anger and pain
if you feel rejected, make time for resolving your anger and pain
recognize the value in the experience
use the recovery period for self-renewal and be aware of the impulse to “rebound
digital communication can enable more rapid communication but can
undermind in-person relationships
be mindful of how social media can influence communication
missing nonverbal cues
promoting an idealized version of yourself
spying
checking phone rather than staying present
publicizing more areas of life
revealing risky personal information
self-disclosure
self-disclosure usually helps create
greater intimacy
listening involves
trying to understand instead of judging, blaming, advising, trying to control
constructive response to another’s self-disclosure that is usually reciprocal
feedback
conflict is
natural
it is best to _____before resolving conflict
let anger dissipate
conflict resolution skills are vital
clarify issue
find out what each person wants
determine how you can both get what you want
solidify agreements verbally or in writing
review and renegotiate
most people pair with someone who
lives in same geographic area
similar background, educational status, lifestyle
thought to have same level of physical attractiveness
after the euphoria of romantic love, the emphasis switches to
values and future aspirations
differences add value but similarities
increase chance of success
advantages of online dating
larger pool of people available to meet
freedom from family, friends, candidate dating partners
allows you to get to know someone from home, set your own pace, start and end relationship at any time
disadvantages of online dating
mis-represnetation
greater tendency to idealize online partners because people reveal only what they want
removes body language, chemistry, intuition
tips for positive and safe experience
Choose a site that fits your own relationship goals
Make sure you and your date are having similar intentions
Understand the potential consequences of posting photos
Don’t give out personal information
Use a unique email for online dating
If someone doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally
Before meeting in person, talk on the phone or by video
Meet only when comfortable, in public areas, perhaps with a friend, and let others know where you will be
Don’t wait too long to meet in person
consistent pattern of attraction to persons of the same sex or gender, a different sex or gender, or more than one sex or gender
sexual orientation
heterosexual
attraction to people of other sex
queer
umbrella word for sexual orientations other than heterosexual
queer couples have more
similarities
queer relationships tend to be more
equal and less organized around traditional gender roles
sexual minorities often deal with
social hostility, ambivalence, simple discomfort with their relationships and rely heavily on community
advantages of single hood
career/personal development, freedom
disadvantages of single hood
lack of companionship, economic hardships
cohabitation provides many benefits of marriage along with
greater autonomy and fewer obligations
disadvantages of cohabitation
lack of legal protections and pressure from family to get home
today people marry for
personal, emotional reasons
best predictors of happy marriage
Realistic expectations
Acceptance of the other’s personality
Development of friendships with other couples
Good communication
Effective ways of resolving conflict
Agreement on religious/ethical values
Egalitarian roles
Good balance of individual and joint interests
prevalence of divorce in the US may reflect
high expectations for marriage and lowered emphasis on marriage as permanent
physical separation usually follows
emotional separation
recovery of separation involves
construction of post divorce separation
birth of a first child is extremely stressful transition
Marital roles tend to become more traditional
Mothers usually have to make greater changes in their lives
Marital satisfaction often declines
couples who successfully whether the stresses of a new baby have these characteristics
Strong relationship before the baby was born
Planned to have the child
Good communication about feelings and expectations
Concrete strategies for sharing responsibilities
demandingness
discipline and supervision
responsiveness
warmth, supportive, connected
four styles of parenting
authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, uninvolved
parenting style high in demandingness, low in responsiveness
authoritarian
parenting style high in both demandingness and responsiveness
authoritative
parenting style high in responsiveness, low in demandingness
permissive
parenting style low in both demandingness and responsiveness
uninvolved
marital satisfaction tends to decline during children’s school years because
additional pressure and responsibility
almost ___% of children today live with a single parent
26
primary problem for single mothers
economic difficulties
most important factors in childrens well being
education level and financial resources of parent(s)
quality of the relationship among children, parent, other caretaker
blended family
step family
three key issues to consider in blended family
financial and living arrangements
resolving feelings and issues from previous marriage
parenthood
seven major characteristics appear in strong families
Commitment
Appreciation
Communication
Time together
Spiritual wellness
Stress and crisis management
Affectionate physical contact
