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CMN 3 > Relational Communication > Flashcards

Relational Communication Flashcards

1
Q

The nature of the relationship is defined by ___?

A

The communication between its members.

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2
Q

Relationships and the communication between people have an __?

A

Interaction effect

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3
Q

Relationships are usually defined as __, rather than ___.

A

Implicitly; Explicitly

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4
Q

Two types of messages:

A

Content

Relational

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5
Q

Content Message

A

What is said
Explicit
The “message”

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6
Q

Relational Message

A

How it is said
Implicit
The “meta-message”

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7
Q

Meta-message

A

the relational message

EX. a little boy saying “I love you, mommy” vs. A man getting down on one knee and saying “I love you” to his loved one.

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8
Q

Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message

A
  1. Arousal, composure, formality
  2. Intimacy
  3. Immediacy
  4. Submission/dominance
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9
Q

Psychological ____
Degree of ____
Degree of ____

A

Arousal, composure, formality

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10
Q

Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Intimacy

A

Emotional closeness
Ex. Children and their parents
Best friends
Siblings

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11
Q

Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Immediacy

A

Indicates someone likes someone or not
Interpersonal attraction
Don’t want to develop intimacy
Stays at surface level

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12
Q

Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Submission/dominance

A

Power dynamics
Who is in charge
Some married couples experience this

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13
Q

Five Stages of Coming Together

A
  1. Initiating
  2. Experimenting
  3. Intensifying
  4. Integrating
  5. Bonding
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14
Q

Five Stages of Pulling Apart

A
  1. Differentiating
  2. Circumscribing
  3. Stagnating
  4. Avoiding
  5. Terminating
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15
Q

Initiating

A

Greetings and indicating there is an opening for communication

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16
Q

Experimenting

A

Small talk

Stage of ALL relationships that we don’t get past.

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17
Q

Intensifying

A

Increasingly personal self-disclosures.
Things feel emotionally compelling
Getting past the small talk.
if we like this then we fall in love

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18
Q

Integrating

A 
Coupling
Pet names
Develop a way of being together
Refer to ourselves as a "we"
Normalizing happens
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19
Q

Bonding

A

Public expression of a commitment – marriage

Making it legal

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20
Q

Differentiating

A

Point out and experiencing differences

Start to notice how different you are from your partner

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21
Q

Circumscribing

A

Holding back self-disclosures

“Return of the stranger” stage

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22
Q

Stagnating

A

Binding one’s time for a better opportunity

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23
Q

Avoiding

A

Creating/tolerating situations that detract from the relationship
Spending more time apart

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24
Q

Terminating

A

Ending the relationship

casting the relationship into a new form

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25
Q

Theory of Self-Disclosure

A

Healthy and ideal relationships require that people allow others to experience themselves fully and to be open to experiencing other fully

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26
Q

Too much self-disclosure early on in a relationship may be perceived as ___ and ___.

A

Threatening; burdensome

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27
Q

Social Penetration Theory

A

The process of increasing disclosure and intimacy

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28
Q

Breadth

A

an array and variety of topics

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29
Q

Depth

A

amount of info regarding each topic

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30
Q

Outer shell of SPT

A

Visible levels of info

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31
Q

Deeper layer of SPT

A

More personal thoughts, beliefs, and experiences

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32
Q

Relational Perception Theory

A

In every communication with another person there is both behavior and experience involved

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33
Q

Behavior

A

Observable actions

outward and public

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34
Q

Experience

A

Internal perception

Inward and Private

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35
Q

Two levels of Perspective-Taking

A

Direct

Meta-Perspective

36
Q

Direct perspective

A

When we observe and interpret another person’s behavior

37
Q

Meta-perspective

A

When we assign meaning to what we imagine the behaving person’s experience is
Interpreting based on their current and past behavior

38
Q

Spiral

A

A prolonged misperception/misinterpretation that leads to misunderstanding
We think we know it but actually we misunderstood

39
Q

Two types of Spirals

A

Unilateral

Bilateral

40
Q

Unilateral Spiral

A

When 1 party’s perception cause a spiral

41
Q

Bilateral Spiral

A

When 2 or both parties are engaged in misperceptions that perpetuate the relational misunderstanding

42
Q

Perceptual accuracy

A

When one’s misperception is aligned with the other’s experience

43
Q

Four Dialectical Principles in Friendship Communication

A
  1. The freedom to be dependent and independent
  2. Using the friendship for affection vs utility/instrumentality
  3. Sometimes we feel judgmental toward a friend, but believe that friendship should be about acceptance
  4. Expressing openly vs protectively
44
Q

Marriage is characterized by:

A

Conventionality
Companionship
Conflict
The Three C’s

45
Q

Conventionality

A

A variable involving conventional vs. Non-conventional notions of family
How traditional a couple is.

46
Q

Companionship

A

A variable reflection dependence vs. autonomy in marriage
How much time you spend together.
Do you like doing things together all the time or do you like to have your time apart?

47
Q

Conflict

A

A variable reelecting the amount of open disagreement expressed in the marriage.
This is inevitable

48
Q

Married couples tend to cluster into 3 distinct groups:

A
  1. The Traditionals
  2. The Independents
  3. The Separates
49
Q

The Traditionals

A

Conventional in their views
Place more value on stability and certainty in role relations
Strong interdependence
Highly companionable
Not prone to disagree, but don’t avoid conflict
Power and decision-making are distributed

50
Q

The Independents

A

Unconventional
Don’t rely on each other
Less companionable
Value their own autonomy
Often have separate rooms in the house
Relationship is having to be negotiated frequently
More conflict because they have more independent goals between individuals

51
Q

The Separates

A

Conventional but seem ambivalent about their roles and the relationship
Not interdependent
Don’t share much
“Emotionally Divorced”
Retreat from conflict
Not very expressive
Don’t understand their partners’ emotions very well

52
Q

5 Love Languages

A
  1. Acts of service
  2. Verbal affirmation
  3. Gifts
  4. Touch
  5. Quality time
53
Q

Attribution Theory

A

Ordinary people in their ordinary lives seek explanations and reasons for others’ and their own behaviors

54
Q

We actively seek the answer to the question…

A

WHY?!

55
Q

What is the equation for Behavior?

A 
The person's character
X
The situation
=
Behavior
56
Q

The attribution process is related to ____ processes

A

Conflict Management

57
Q

When we attribute SITUATIONAL factors to others’ behaviors we tend to approach conflict with them ____.

A

Cooperatively

58
Q

When we attribute TRAIT/CHARACTER factors to others’ behaviors we tend to approach conflict with them ____.

A

Competitively

59
Q

It’s recommended that we attempt to give others what?

A

The benefit of the doubt

60
Q

What is related to Attribution Theory

A

Accounts in social construction

61
Q

Accounts are ways of?

A

Justifying/Explaining one’s behavior

62
Q

Accounts, for the SENDER

A
  • A way to save face, accomplish goals, preserve relationships
  • Enable the violator to frame events by creating context in which to interpret those events
63
Q

By giving account we attempt to control ___ _______ __ ___ _________.

A

The meaning of the situation

64
Q

Accounts, for the RECEIVER

A

Enables them to “move on” because they are given the answer to the “WHY”

65
Q

Interpersonal Conflict

A

An expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive:

  • Incompatible goals
  • scarce resources
  • interference from the other party in achieving their goals
66
Q

The Three “I’s” of Conflict

A
  1. Interdependence
  2. Incompatible Goals
  3. Interation
67
Q

Characteristics of Interpersonal Conflict

A
  1. It’s Natural
  2. It can be direct or indirect
  3. It can be harmful or beneficial.
68
Q

Most common sources of conflict

A 
Personal criticisms (20%)
Finances (13%)
Household chores (10%)
69
Q

Studies have shown that the major topics of conflict are ______ __________ for gal, lesbian, and heterosexual couples.

A

nearly identical

70
Q

The Four Horsemen

A

Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

71
Q

The Four Horsemen: Criticism

A

The expression of complaints about another party

72
Q

The Four Horsemen: Contempt

A

The expression of insults and attacks on another’s self worth
Primary leader to divorce

73
Q

The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness

A

The tendency to deny the validity of criticisms directed at the self

74
Q

The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

A

The behavior of withdrawing from a conversation or and interaction

75
Q

Why are they labeled the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”?

A

The behaviors are predictive of divorce

76
Q

Other signs of relationship troubles:

A

Withdrawal and avoidance
Invalidation
Negative interpretations
Escalation

77
Q

Arguers as Rapists

A 
Aggressors
Done by dominating
Hostility
Name calling
Wants to win
78
Q

Arguers as Seducers

A

Manipulators
Wants to win by twisting things
Guilting a person

79
Q

Arguers as Lovers

A

The “Scientists”

seek to use the discussion to learn and as a means to discover the truth or best solution to the issue

80
Q

Styles of Conflict Management

A 
Competing
Avoidance
Accommodating 
Compromising
Collaborating
81
Q

Low concern for other

High concern for self

A

Competing
Focus on MY side of the issue and winning the argument
Use whatever means i have to win
Use my resources to get what I want

82
Q

Low concern for other

Low concern for self

A 
Avoidance
Stay away from topics of disagreements
When disagreeing, keep to self
Tend to avoid situations that will lead to conflict
Try to avoid conflicts whenever possible
83
Q

High concern for other

Low concern for self

A 
Accommodating 
Make the other person happy
Usually give in to the other person
Important that the other person is satisfied
Usually do whatever the other suggests
84
Q

Moderate concern for other

Moderate Concern for self

A

Compromising
Thinks everyone in the conflict has to give up something to find an acceptable solution
Tries to find a solution that will be close to what everyone wants, but not exactly
believe compromising is essential to managing conflict
Don’t expect to get exactly what we want but something that is close to what I want.

85
Q

High Concern for other

High Concern for self

A

Collaborating
Goal in conflict = find solution everyone likes
Usually try to find a “win-win” solution
Share info and ideas so an acceptable solution can be found
Prefer to come up with a resolution that everyone is pleased with.

CMN 3 (8 decks)

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