FINAL (Motley textbook study questions) Flashcards

1
Q

Surveillance Activities

A

Various attempts at keeping tabs on the object of pursuit.

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2
Q

Harassment & Intimidation

A

Variety of actions that attempt to exert pressure, frustration, or annoyance to influence behavior

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3
Q

Hyperintimacy

A

Excessive/exaggerated expressions of courtship and attempts at closeness.
- Crosses line of social acceptability

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4
Q

What are te “Silver Linings” in unwanted pursuits?

A
  • Greater personal resilience
  • Confidence
  • Trust in friends and family
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5
Q

In the US, what percent of men and women will be stalked in their lifetime?

A
  • 2% Men

- 8% Women

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6
Q

How long does average stalking relationship last?

A

1.8 years

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7
Q

What is the “knock and talk” strategy?

A
  • Formal cautioning by Police

- List of consequences

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8
Q

What is the number one reason that a stalking episode stopped?

A
  • Direct communication

- Victim moves

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9
Q

What are the carious ways in which victims of unwanted pursuit cope with it?

A
  • Moving Inward
  • Moving Outward
  • Moving Toward
  • Moving Against
  • Moving Away
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10
Q

Moving Inward

A
  • Coping with the issue through self-eval
  • Least amt of interpersonal communication
  • Leads to activities such as meditation, drugs, and drinking
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11
Q

Moving Outward

A
  • Seek advice and counsel from others
  • Reaches out
  • 82% of victims discuss their situation with someone else
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12
Q

Moving Toward

A
  • Direct interaction with the pursuer

- Any actions taken to drive the relationship TOWARD acceptance

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13
Q

Moving Against

A
  • Actions and behaviors aimed at incapacitating pursuer
  • Threatens pursuer
  • Legal action
  • Engaging in aggression against pursuer
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14
Q

Moving Away

A
  • Increase of victim’s inaccessibility to the pursuer
  • Change numbers, e-mails, routes, and routines
  • “being where the pursuer is not”
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15
Q

What are the psychological and relational beliefs and complications that lead up to a stalking episode?

A
  • Culture instills “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” (playing hard to get)
  • Media
  • Indirect rejection leads to other still wanting to pursue relationship
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16
Q

Males and females interact more frequently via what?

A

Events like social activities, classes, work, marriages etc.

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17
Q

Romantic or sexual attraction by at least one partner will happen at least __-__% of the time

A

10-40%

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18
Q

What is the most common outcome of “unrequited romantic disclosures?”

A
  • Dissolved friendship

- Largely due to the absences of scripts /socializations for handling these inherently awkward episodes.

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19
Q

What conditions occurred when the post-disclosure friendships lasted rather than when they dissolved?

A
  • Friendship = long established
  • Solid foundation of openness and honesty prior disclosure
  • Crush and liker actively pursued friendship
  • They wanted to remain friends despite asymmetry
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20
Q

What conditions DID NOT occur when the post-disclosure friendships lasted?

A
  • Either partners avoid social contact
  • Romantically inclined partner complained about the absence of mutual feelings
  • Platonically inclined partner suggests that mutual romantic feelings may develop
  • Platonically inclined tell their friends about the episodes
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21
Q

What were the guidelines given for a friendship to be maintained after unrequited feelings of romance have been disclosed?

A
  • Put in effort and show the friendship is still important to you
  • Let your partner know that you accept their rejection and that you can handle being friends
  • do your best to let go of discomfort/embarassment
  • Partner who confessed? Attempt to discourage the idea that you pressuring your partner toward feels
  • Generally inadvisable behavior
  • Outcome of salvaging the friendship is more likely if:
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22
Q

Putting effort into the friendship means:

A
  • Verbally communicating that friendship is important
  • Don’t change relationship you had before
  • refrain from further conversing about confession
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23
Q

Letting your partner know that you accept rejection and can handle staying friends means

A
  • Verbally communicating that you accept

- Drop the matter

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24
Q

Letting go of discomfort means

A
  • Return to earlier patterns of behavior/communication

- DROP THE MATTER

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25
Q

Outcome of salvaging the friendship is more likely if:

A
  • You know ea. other and have been friends for a long time

* You have spent a lot of time together before it happened.

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26
Q

What were the interactive aspects of interpersonal guilt?

A
  • Relational closeness and satisfaction

- Perceived effectiveness/appropriateness of guilt message

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27
Q

What are the three primary functions of guilt messages?

A
  • Enhance patterns of behavior
  • Influence a relational partner
  • Redistribute emotional distress
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28
Q

Enhance patterns of behavior means..

A

Enforce social or communal norms

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29
Q

Out of the three primary functions, which is the most common?

A

Influence a relational partner

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30
Q

What does the author mean by the “Jekyll and Hyde nature of interpersonal guilt?”

A

Conflict between appropriateness and effectiveness can improve/give relationship negative consequences.

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31
Q

What is likely to occur when guilt messages are used?

A
  • Potential to accomplish multiple goals for sender
  • Successful guilt message will motivate partner to behave in ways that’s positive for relationship
  • Negative is that the receiver will feel manipulated or devalue themselves
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32
Q

What are the final recommendations given to relational partners regarding the use of guilt messages?

A
  • Openly discuss issues
  • Resist temptations to use guilt
  • Step back and look at facts
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33
Q

Cross Complaining

A

One spouse’s relational complaint is met with a counter complaint

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34
Q

Mutual Hostility

A
  • Verbal attacks from both parties

- Positively related to stress and stress-related problems

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35
Q

Four Horsemen

A

Sequence of behaviors that predict divorce:

  • Criticism
  • Defensiveness
  • Contempt
  • Stonewalling
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36
Q

Validation Loops

A
  • Form of constructive communication
  • Complaint is acknowledged
  • Willing to discuss before another complaint is brought up
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37
Q

Out of Cross Complaining, Mutual Hostility, Four Horsemen, and Validation loops, Which one is the main leader to divorce?

A

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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38
Q

Out of Cross Complaining, Mutual Hostility, Four Horsemen, and Validation loops, Which one is said to be the most constructive

A

Validation Loops

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39
Q

What is said about constructive communication conflict strategies?

A

Validation loops acknowledge other’s complaints and willing to discuss

  • Validate each other
  • Practice self control
  • Avoid conflict escalation
  • Focus on resolving the issue
  • Supportive of each other
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40
Q

What are the three skills necessary to PREVENT mutual hostility?

A
  1. Avoid negative start-up
  2. Develop skills to constructively express anger
  3. Identify escalating sequences and engage in behavior that will avoid escalation
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41
Q

What are the common “female resistance messages” to sexual escalation?

A
  • Direct (I don’t want to do this)
  • Less direct (we can do other things just not that)
  • Indirect (I’m on my period)
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42
Q

What is the MOST COMMON “female resistance message” to sexual escalation?

A

Indirect

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43
Q

Which of the messages are direct?

A

Those that are clear and straightforward

44
Q

Which of the messages are indirect?

A

Those that are misleading and vague

45
Q

What percent of college women have reported having experienced a male attempting to escalate physical intimacy beyond her comfort zone?

A

75-80% of women

46
Q

Males are more likely to interpret ______ messages and are ____ likely to react negatively to ______ messages

A
  • Direct
  • Less
  • Direct
47
Q

Males interpret ________ messages to mean what they would mean if they said them.

A

Indirect

48
Q

What are the PROS for giving advice?

A
  • May strengthen relationships
  • Recipient obtains useful info
  • Receiver is soothed
49
Q

What are the CONS for giving advice?

A
  • May not be needed/wanted
  • Bad advice may lead to negative output/damage
  • May increase stress
  • May increase negative perception
50
Q

What are the guidelines for giving advice?

A
  • Needs to be appropriate to situation
  • Must choose whether/how to give advice based on them being the source
  • Must be respectful and sensitive
  • Advice is perceived more positively if they adhere to standards
  • Certain characteristics may influence how advice is received
  • Think carefully about action
  • Use best moral judgement
51
Q

What were the various facts provided regarding forgiveness in relationships?

A
  • Relational justice –> positive for repair and recovery

- There are “better” and “worse” ways to seek and grant forgiveness.

52
Q

Forgiveness is the _______ ______ of relational morality by learning to _______ couples may find ____ ___ _______ in relationship’s darkest moments

A
  • Central matter
  • Forgive
  • Hope and Justice
53
Q

Which forgiveness strategies are associated with the MOST relationship improvement after a transgression?

A
  • Explicit knowledge

- Take responsibility for acts

54
Q

Which forgiveness strategies are associated with the LEAST relationship improvement after a transgression?

A
  • Humor

- Because it deflects serious pain

55
Q

What were the recommendations offered regarding forgiveness practices of long-term couples?

A
  • Acknowledge wrong doing
  • Apologize sincerely
  • Address emotion explicitly
  • Request outside assistance
  • Forgive and REMEMBER
  • Use time to advantage
  • Revisit communication rules
  • Invoke spiritual values
56
Q

Sexual Intimacy

A
  • Operating on a willingness continuum, w/ simultaneous mutual consent and physical force
  • Can be unwanted –> “given in” against one’s will
57
Q

About __% of college women, and __% of college men have been the partner in unforced but unwanted sexual intercourse

A

33%

50%

58
Q

In a study, out of 54 HS student and 230 College students:

  • __% reported sexual coercion by physical force
  • __% reported verbal coercion
  • __% described unwanted seduction through sexual behavior
  • __% were compelled after being given alcohol/drugs
A
  • 18% reported sexual coercion by physical force
  • 31% reported verbal coercion
  • 26% described unwanted seduction through sexual behavior
  • 7% were compelled after being given alcohol/drugs
59
Q

What is the most common general strategy used for verbally coercing someone into sexual intimacy?

A
  • Persuasion
  • Deception
  • Positive statements
  • Logic
  • Elicit guilt to engage in sexual intimacy
60
Q

What is suggested that we all should become aware of so that we are else likely to succumb to coercion messages?

A

Mistaken impressions by the coercer (the person persuading)

61
Q

What variables are involved in whether or not people are open to comforting messages?

A
  • Demographic characteristics
  • Situational factors
  • Psychological Characteristics
62
Q

Demographic characteristics

A
  • Age
  • Sex
  • Nationality
  • Ethnicity
63
Q

Situational Factors

A
  • Appropriate and effect
  • LPC and HPC vs. Mild/severe distress
  • HIMYM example
64
Q

What does HPC stand for?

A

Highly Person Centered

65
Q

Psychological Characteristics

A
  • Personality Traits
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Values
  • Goal orientations
66
Q

What are the guidelines for providing support via a HPC way?

A
  • Create conversational and comforting environment
  • Emphasize ability and willingness to listen
  • Directly supporting expression of feelings
  • Emphasize the person to tell and extended story
  • Express empathy and less personal experiences
67
Q

How to create a conversational and comforting environment?

A

By expressing genuine care and concern (pleasantness; “I really care for you”)

68
Q

How to emphasize ability and willingness to listen?

A

By expressing feelings that their story is important.

“I want you to know that I’m here for you”

69
Q

How do you directly support expression of feelings?

A

By allowing the discloser to fully express their feelings

70
Q

How do you get the person to emphasize and tell an extended story?

A

By using “tell me more” expressions like “I want to hear the whole story”

71
Q

How do you express empathy and less personal experiences?

A

By encouraging the expression and indicating understanding of feelings
AVOID expressions that bring the story back to you, its all about them right now

72
Q

Demographic characteristics

A
  • Age
  • Sex
  • Nationality
  • Ethnicity
73
Q

Situational Factors

A
  • Appropriate and effect
  • LPC and HPC vs. Mild/severe distress
  • HIMYM example
74
Q

What does HPC stand for?

A

Highly Person Centered

75
Q

Psychological Characteristics

A
  • Personality Traits
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Values
  • Goal orientations
76
Q

What are the guidelines for providing support via a HPC way?

A
  • Create conversational and comforting environment
  • Emphasize ability and willingness to listen
  • Directly supporting expression of feelings
  • Emphasize the person to tell and extended story
  • Express empathy and less personal experiences
77
Q

How to create a conversational and comforting environment?

A

By expressing genuine care and concern (pleasantness; “I really care for you”)

78
Q

How to emphasize ability and willingness to listen?

A

By expressing feelings that their story is important.

“I want you to know that I’m here for you”

79
Q

How do you directly support expression of feelings?

A

By allowing the discloser to fully express their feelings

80
Q

How do you get the person to emphasize and tell an extended story?

A

By using “tell me more” expressions like “I want to hear the whole story”

81
Q

How do you express empathy and less personal experiences?

A

By encouraging the expression and indicating understanding of feelings
AVOID expressions that bring the story back to you, its all about them right now

82
Q

Competence Face

A
  • To be recognized for what one has done
  • Desire to be appreciated
  • Desire for recognition
  • Addressed by corresponding messages of approbation (approval)
83
Q

What are communication episodes involving a person experiencing distress and a person attempting to alleviate said distress?

A

Supportive interactions

84
Q

Support Seeker

A

A person EXPERIENCING distress

85
Q

Support Provider

A

A person attempting to alleviate distress

86
Q

What are verbal and nonverbal acts intended to be helpful and usually come from the support provider?

A

Supportive Messages

87
Q

What are the suggestions for SUPPORT PROVIDERS?

A
  • Encourage the support seeker’s discussion of feelings
  • Praise the coping efforts of the support seeker
  • Be pleasant and acknowledge the support seeker’s autonomy face
88
Q

Dilemmas for the provider

A
  • Makes sure what the seeker’s desires are
  • Offers support and is rejected
  • Feeling constrained to provide support in the first place
89
Q

What is facework?

A

A communication designed to create, sport, enhance, or challenge interactional identities

90
Q

What are the 3 types of facework?

A
  • Fellowship Face
  • Competence Face
  • Autonomy Face
91
Q

Fellowship Face

A
  • To be accepted for who one is
  • Desire to be included
  • Feel a sense of belonging
  • Addressed by corresponding messages of solidarity
92
Q

Competence Face

A
  • To be recognized for what one has done
  • Desire to be appreciated
  • Desire for recognition
  • Addressed by corresponding messages of approbation (approval)
93
Q

Autonomy Face

A
  • Desire to not be imposed upon
  • to have control over one’s environment and freedom of choice
  • Addressed by corresponding messages of tact
94
Q

What is “involvement”?

A
  • Feeling and signaling “attentiveness, interest, and participation in interaction.”
95
Q

What are the suggestions provided for SUPPORT SEEKERS?

A
  • Discuss your feelings
  • Respect your partner’s autonomy face
  • Be involved and pleasant
96
Q

Respect your partner’s autonomy face means what?

A

Value insight/comments without implying that they have to provide anything in return

97
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Small Talk

A
  • Comments about the program
  • Share impressions or thoughts
  • Ask for clarifications
98
Q

Television watching is an important context in which __________ ___________ may take place.

A

Relational maintenance

99
Q

Relational Maintenance

A

Strategic and routine behaviors couples perform in order to keep their relationships at a desired level of satisfaction

100
Q

What behaviors are associated with “positivity”?

A
  • Probes for positivity
  • Compliments
  • Favors
  • Courtesy
  • Affectional expressions
101
Q

Joint television watching ________ and _______ communication between couples

A
  • Supports

- Promotes

102
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as…

A
  • Positivity
  • Assurances
  • Sharing and negotiating tasks
  • Discussing social networks
  • Humor
  • Small talk
103
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Positivity

A

Expressions of courtesy

104
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Assurances

A

Planning for future indicating relational affirmation

105
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Sharing and/or Negotiating

A

Assign/discuss how to complete tasks

106
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Discussing Social Netowrks

A

Talk about friends family social media

107
Q

Television viewing provides opportunity to support relational maintenance behaviors such as: Small Talk

A
  • Comments about the program
  • Share impressions or thoughts
  • Ask for clarifications