FINAL (Motley textbook study questions) Flashcards
Surveillance Activities
Various attempts at keeping tabs on the object of pursuit.
Harassment & Intimidation
Variety of actions that attempt to exert pressure, frustration, or annoyance to influence behavior
Hyperintimacy
Excessive/exaggerated expressions of courtship and attempts at closeness.
- Crosses line of social acceptability
What are te “Silver Linings” in unwanted pursuits?
- Greater personal resilience
- Confidence
- Trust in friends and family
In the US, what percent of men and women will be stalked in their lifetime?
- 2% Men
- 8% Women
How long does average stalking relationship last?
1.8 years
What is the “knock and talk” strategy?
- Formal cautioning by Police
- List of consequences
What is the number one reason that a stalking episode stopped?
- Direct communication
- Victim moves
What are the carious ways in which victims of unwanted pursuit cope with it?
- Moving Inward
- Moving Outward
- Moving Toward
- Moving Against
- Moving Away
Moving Inward
- Coping with the issue through self-eval
- Least amt of interpersonal communication
- Leads to activities such as meditation, drugs, and drinking
Moving Outward
- Seek advice and counsel from others
- Reaches out
- 82% of victims discuss their situation with someone else
Moving Toward
- Direct interaction with the pursuer
- Any actions taken to drive the relationship TOWARD acceptance
Moving Against
- Actions and behaviors aimed at incapacitating pursuer
- Threatens pursuer
- Legal action
- Engaging in aggression against pursuer
Moving Away
- Increase of victim’s inaccessibility to the pursuer
- Change numbers, e-mails, routes, and routines
- “being where the pursuer is not”
What are the psychological and relational beliefs and complications that lead up to a stalking episode?
- Culture instills “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” (playing hard to get)
- Media
- Indirect rejection leads to other still wanting to pursue relationship
Males and females interact more frequently via what?
Events like social activities, classes, work, marriages etc.
Romantic or sexual attraction by at least one partner will happen at least __-__% of the time
10-40%
What is the most common outcome of “unrequited romantic disclosures?”
- Dissolved friendship
- Largely due to the absences of scripts /socializations for handling these inherently awkward episodes.
What conditions occurred when the post-disclosure friendships lasted rather than when they dissolved?
- Friendship = long established
- Solid foundation of openness and honesty prior disclosure
- Crush and liker actively pursued friendship
- They wanted to remain friends despite asymmetry
What conditions DID NOT occur when the post-disclosure friendships lasted?
- Either partners avoid social contact
- Romantically inclined partner complained about the absence of mutual feelings
- Platonically inclined partner suggests that mutual romantic feelings may develop
- Platonically inclined tell their friends about the episodes
What were the guidelines given for a friendship to be maintained after unrequited feelings of romance have been disclosed?
- Put in effort and show the friendship is still important to you
- Let your partner know that you accept their rejection and that you can handle being friends
- do your best to let go of discomfort/embarassment
- Partner who confessed? Attempt to discourage the idea that you pressuring your partner toward feels
- Generally inadvisable behavior
- Outcome of salvaging the friendship is more likely if:
Putting effort into the friendship means:
- Verbally communicating that friendship is important
- Don’t change relationship you had before
- refrain from further conversing about confession
Letting your partner know that you accept rejection and can handle staying friends means
- Verbally communicating that you accept
- Drop the matter
Letting go of discomfort means
- Return to earlier patterns of behavior/communication
- DROP THE MATTER
Outcome of salvaging the friendship is more likely if:
- You know ea. other and have been friends for a long time
* You have spent a lot of time together before it happened.
What were the interactive aspects of interpersonal guilt?
- Relational closeness and satisfaction
- Perceived effectiveness/appropriateness of guilt message
What are the three primary functions of guilt messages?
- Enhance patterns of behavior
- Influence a relational partner
- Redistribute emotional distress
Enhance patterns of behavior means..
Enforce social or communal norms
Out of the three primary functions, which is the most common?
Influence a relational partner
What does the author mean by the “Jekyll and Hyde nature of interpersonal guilt?”
Conflict between appropriateness and effectiveness can improve/give relationship negative consequences.
What is likely to occur when guilt messages are used?
- Potential to accomplish multiple goals for sender
- Successful guilt message will motivate partner to behave in ways that’s positive for relationship
- Negative is that the receiver will feel manipulated or devalue themselves
What are the final recommendations given to relational partners regarding the use of guilt messages?
- Openly discuss issues
- Resist temptations to use guilt
- Step back and look at facts
Cross Complaining
One spouse’s relational complaint is met with a counter complaint
Mutual Hostility
- Verbal attacks from both parties
- Positively related to stress and stress-related problems
Four Horsemen
Sequence of behaviors that predict divorce:
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Contempt
- Stonewalling
Validation Loops
- Form of constructive communication
- Complaint is acknowledged
- Willing to discuss before another complaint is brought up
Out of Cross Complaining, Mutual Hostility, Four Horsemen, and Validation loops, Which one is the main leader to divorce?
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Out of Cross Complaining, Mutual Hostility, Four Horsemen, and Validation loops, Which one is said to be the most constructive
Validation Loops
What is said about constructive communication conflict strategies?
Validation loops acknowledge other’s complaints and willing to discuss
- Validate each other
- Practice self control
- Avoid conflict escalation
- Focus on resolving the issue
- Supportive of each other
What are the three skills necessary to PREVENT mutual hostility?
- Avoid negative start-up
- Develop skills to constructively express anger
- Identify escalating sequences and engage in behavior that will avoid escalation
What are the common “female resistance messages” to sexual escalation?
- Direct (I don’t want to do this)
- Less direct (we can do other things just not that)
- Indirect (I’m on my period)
What is the MOST COMMON “female resistance message” to sexual escalation?
Indirect