One Acts: Superhero? - Ms. Monopoly Flashcards
GORG: No! Stop it! Give me that!
Halt! Can’t say I’m surprised Gorgophone, you’ve always had a tendency to steal from those less fortunate
GORG: She drives a Bentley-
Which she could be borrowing from a friend, now scram! Here you go ma’am, now you be careful out there.
WOMAN: Oh, thank you Ms. Monopoly, you’re a hero!
Oh yeah, I guess I am.
WOMAN: Aren’t you going to say one of your catchphrases?
Oh, um, call me a penny, because I’m only worth one cent.
MA: Oh hi sweetie how was your day!
Same as every other day.
MA: Oh, I’m sorry darling. You know, ever since your father left me. It feels like a part of my soul has been missing. Particularly the part supported by rock solid abs and a mean a jawline RAWR. But you know what has kept me happy all these years?
Drinking?
MA: Shopping- Oh! I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyways shopping! Why don’t you down to the gas station and get yourself a little treat?
I guess I will.
MA: And could you get me another bottle while you’re out?
No.
WORKER: Oh hello Ms. Monopoly! What’re you doing here?
My mommy told me I need to get myself a snack because I have no joy in my and a singular object will seemingly cure all my wares.
WORKER: Well I have been told I pair well with a nice glass of wine.
Reminds me of my mother.
WORKER: Is that a good thing?
I’m just gonna get a pack of gum.
GORG: AHA! Right where I thought you’d be.
What do you want Gorg?
WORKER: Oh my!
Gorg let go of her.
GORG: Why don’t you make me?
UGHHHH
GORG: Ah! Ow! Stop!
Just let gooooo.
WORKER: Wow Ms. Monopoly, you saved my life!
Yeah, yeah. All in a days work or whatever.
START OF SCENE 4
Oh shoot- damn. Leave it to the person who can shoot coins out of their wrists to steal a pack of gum. Huh? Why does it feel kinda good to bad? Maybe… being a hero isn’t so great…maybe… It’s time to be a villain. Nerds! Why don’t you start making CENTS and be cool? YOINK! Aw sweetheart it’s okay. You know, if I only had a QUARTER of your emotions, I’D STILL BE THE BIGGEST CRYBABY AROUND! Hey dweeb! Why don’t you do something de CENT with your life and lose those binoculars.
IC: What did you just say to me?
I said you should lose those binoculars…freak.
IC: But I love these binoculars.
Well, I don’t see any birds around, unless you’re searching for yourself worth. And if you are, you’re going to need a much stronger pair to find it.
GORG: Woah woah woah woah woah. Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars?? COLLECTING YOUR JAR OF HEARTS??
I’m sorry?
GORG: You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. What did IC ever do to you? GOD FORBID WOMEN HAVE HOBBIES.
Haven’t you heard the news? I’m a villian now.
GORG: No you’re not, that’s my thing.
Well then get a new thing because I’m taking your role.
