One Acts: Scott Free - Gertrude

Question 1

JUDGE: Knock yourself out.

Answer 1

Damn these brittle bones!

Question 2

SCOTT: Gertrude, thank you for your cooperation!

Answer 2

Go to hell!

Question 3

SCOTT: I imagine looking at your face is hell enough, no?

Answer 3

EXCUSE ME!? Aren’t you a little old to be insulting a lady!

Question 4

SCOTT: Aren’t you a little old to be alive?

Answer 4

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth young man!

Question 5

SCOTT: Do you kiss anyone at your age?

Answer 5

HOW VILE! I’ll have you know, this ain’t my first rodeo

Question 6

SCOTT: Judging by your age It’ll probably be your last.

Answer 6

Why you little! Oh my back! Cornelius! Help me up!

Question 7

SCOTT: Go on Cornman. You see, she’s fallen and she can’t get up.

Answer 7

You’re walking on thin ice buddy.

Question 8

JUDGE: No you idiot it’s about- Wait what?

Answer 8

What the- You mean…YOU’RE LETTING THAT BARBARIAN GO?! I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA-

Question 9

JUDGE: Ma’am, this gentleman is not a pressing issue at the moment.

Answer 9

Pressing issue? I’ll press my goddamn fist against his skull.

Question 10

TIMMY: Please don’t.

Answer 10

What’s wrong pipsqueak!? Afraid this old woman’s gonna whoop you!?

Question 11

TIMMY: No, I just don’t want to contract whatever rabid disease you clearly have.

Answer 11

LET ME AT EM! LET ME AT EM!

Question 12

CORNELIUS: Gertrude please! Consider the repercussions!

Answer 12

I’m 98 years old! I ain’t got nothing to lose!

Question 13

TIMMY: Except for maybe this fight.

Answer 13

Try me!

Question 14

SCOTT: Yeah if anything I robbed you!

Answer 14

What is that supposed to mean?

Question 15

SCOTT: Well I have a tendency to shoplift on accident.

Answer 15

Shoplift on accident?

Question 16

TIMMY: Wait so this whole time you were the one to-

Answer 16

But wait! He couldn’t have! The robber was wearing a mask. He doesn’t wear a mask.