Material covered in lectures Flashcards
dialectic tensions
the push pull of relationships
symbolic interactionism- who? and the three ideas?
herbet mead- self arises out of social interaction
as we learn language and interact with others we learn who we are
learn how to be an individual by recognizing how people respond to you
knapps relational development model
initiating phase, experimenting phase, intensifying stage, integrating phase, bonding
ducks interpersonal attraction filtering theory
sociological or incidental cues (how likely are you to meet someone)
preinteraction cues- nonverbal, physical attributes, how they react with others
interaction cues- the initial conversation
cognitive cues- you can talk to each other but also have shared views
initiating phase
first meeting
experimenting phase
hanging out with each other- reveal who you are, many relationships stop here
intensifying stage
more self disclosure, start to talk about each other as we and us
integrating phase
couple, social circles merge, intimacy trophys, relational tests
relational test
- indirect suggestions- flirting
- separation- to see if they notice the separation and contact you
- triangle test- hanging out with someone else to test jealousy
bonding
public expression- marriage or commitment ceremony
dysfunctional patterns
rigid role relations, disconfirming messages, paradoxes, spirals
rigid role relations
complementary- one person take control other sits back and
symmetrical- competitive symmetry or submissive( what do you want to do, i dont care what do you want to do)
disconfirming messages
impervious, interupting, irrelevant and tangential, impersonal incoherent responses, sometimes during our conversations we leave one person feeling like less than the other
paradoxes
contradictory messages- I’m not telling you what to do I want you to decide
spirals
when somethign you do intensifys the other behavior- your cold so you turn up the heat and then the other person cranks the AC
what contributes to conflict?
incompatible goals and dysfunctional patterns
what are the two aspects of conflict?
substance( what are we fighting about) and patterns (how we usually have conflict)
substantive causes of conflict
scarce resources diverse backgrounds, various orientations to task accomplishment, interaction patterns can be a source of conflict
Forcing
high task low social (shark)
Withdrawing
Low social and task (turtle)
problem solving
high task and social (owl)
accomodating
low task high social (teddy bear)
Compromising
Medium social and task
strategies for dealing with conflict
identify patterns and fit it to goals/ context, interest v position, avoid gunny sacking, be aware of cultural differences, choose appropriate time and place, define nature of the problem, be aware of nvc and verbal communication
gunnysacking
having one conflict over a million issues at the same time
interest versus position
focus on what you need not how you should get there
giving effective feedback
own your message, avoid apologizing for feelings, make your messages specific and behavioral, verbal and NVC, avoid evaluating and interpreting your partner unless specifically asked
synergy
- when everythign is clicks (we did it and our effort together is exponential)
symtoms of group think
illusion of invulnerability, believe in groups inherent morality (better than everyone else), shared stereotypes, collective rationalization, self censorship
believe in groups inherent morality
what your thinking in your group is better than everyone elses thoughts
shared stereotypes
anyone who opposes the group is wrong or conservative or just doesnt get it
collective rationalization
come up with reasons why ill advised action makes sense despite other info
self censorship
one person doesnt think its a good idea but they dont speak up, emphasizing cohesion over good decision making (mind guards and illusion of unanimity
mind guards
protect yourself from negative feedback by not opening yourself to it
illusion of unanimity
you think your all on the same page but your not
functional theory of group decision making
problem definition, issue analysis, criteria selection, solution generation, solution evaluation, solution selection and implementation.
sociological or incidental cues
(how likely are you to meet someone)
preinteraction cues
- nonverbal, physical attributes, how they react with others
interaction cues
- the initial conversation
cognitive cues-
you can talk to each other but also have shared views
