Love Actually - Parent-Infant Love and Love in Childhood (Week 6)

Question 1

Harry Harlow Monkey Experiment

Answer 1

-Two mothers, one clothed without milk and one hard wired with milk
-The child preferred the clothed mother over the wired one
-Went against the original hypothesis

Question 2

Serve and Return Response

Answer 2

-Baby makes a noise expecting parent to respond
-The baby puts something out to the environment and the environment returns something back
-This back-and-forth interaction is critical to brain development in infancy

Question 3

Still face experiment

Answer 3

-Baby cries when mother has a blank face since she’s not giving a response
-When a baby is not being attended to it is biologically stressful for the baby
-The baby’s brain is full of stress hormones

Question 4

Occasional inattention

Answer 4

-It is okay to not pay attention to children all the time
-Can be beneficial as the baby can learn independence and self-smoothing

Question 5

John Bowlby

Answer 5

-Belief in his time was that if kids were given too much attention they would be spoiled
-Was a traumatic experience for him
-Developed the attachment theory
-Concluded that infants and young children should experience a warm, intimate and continuous relationship with a mother or permanent mother substitute in which both find satisfaction and enjoyment

Question 6

Anna Frued

Answer 6

Had a foster center during WW2 to house children and encouraged parents to keep contact

Question 7

Rene Spitz

Answer 7

-Studied children in institutions
-Coined anaclitic depression and hospitalism

Question 8

Anaclitic Depression

Answer 8

-The loss of a loved object
-Depression associated with separation from caregiver
-Child will make recovery if there’s a reunion in 3-5 months

Question 9

Hospitalism

Answer 9

-If a child is deprived for longer than five months they become depressed
-Theoretically irreversible

Question 10

John Bowlby Career

Answer 10

-Focused on intergenerational influences on attachment
-Theorized that attachment was evolutionary to protect infants
-Published Maternal Care and Mental Health to document the mental health of homeless children in post-war Europe

Question 11

Impact of Bowlby’s Works

Answer 11

-Significant changes in foster and hospital institutions
-Controversial because it clashed with psychoanalytic theories which saw an infant’s internal life as fantasy instead of reality
-Used for political agenda to keep women from the workforce

Question 12

Imprinting

Answer 12

-Konrad Lorenz
-Phenomenon where animals become attached to the first thing that they see
-Observed in young geese who imprinted on him

Question 13

Mary Ainsworth

Answer 13

-Student of Bowlby
-Developed a standardized procedure to test infant attachment
-The strange situation procedure
-The procedure puts an infant in a controlled stressful situation
-Not used clinically or for diagnostic purposes only used in research

Question 14

Strange Situation Procedure

Answer 14

-Mother and child enters a room
-A stranger enters
-Mother leaves and child starts crying
-Stranger tries to comfort child, no success
-The mother comes back
-The baby is only comforted when they’re reunited with their mother

Question 15

Secure Attachment

Answer 15

-A parental style that is in tune with the child
-Child grows to be empathetic, have good boundaries and meaningful relationships

Question 16

Avoidant Attachment

Answer 16

-Results from unavailable or rejecting parents
-Child grow up to be more distant, critical, and rigid

Question 17

Ambivalent Attachment

Answer 17

-Results from inconsistent parenting styles
-Child grow up to be controlling or unpredictable in relationships

Question 18

Disorganized or Reactive Attachment

Answer 18

-Traumatic parenting experiences
-Child grows to be abusive, untrusting and unable to build positive relationships

Question 19

Attachment Theory Summary

Answer 19

-Infants need to develop a relationship with at least one primary, consistent caregiver–does not have to be biological–so that they can develop
-In the presence of a responsive caregiver, the baby feels safe to explore and play
-There are no perfect parent
-A sensitive caregiver is one that managed and repaired distractions so that they come back to the infant’s serve and return needs
-Early patterns of attachment can shape an individual’s expectations and behavior later in life

Question 20

Communication

Answer 20

-Kissing, eye contact, checking in
-We see communication in early infancy
-Babies communicate through imitation

Question 21

Attunement

Answer 21

-How reactive a person is to another’s emotional needs and mood
-Well attuned individuals will respond with appropriate language and behavior based on another person’s emotional state
-Parents should be attuned to what the baby is paying attention to

Question 22

Between parent and child

Answer 22

-Haim Ginott
-Never deny a child’s feelings
-Focus on the behavior, not on the child (don’t blame the child they may internalize that they are a bad person)
-Attach rules to things; tell them what to do
-Allow independence for children and give choices within safe limits
-Limit criticism to a specific event avoid “never” or “always”
-Refrain from using words that you don’t want the kid to repeat

Question 23

Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving

Answer 23

-Babies are born into a state of narcissism because they only care about other people if they can provide something for them
-The ability to love others develop as they begin to be more independent
-Love develops from the concept of giving gifts
-Giving becomes more enjoyable than receiving
-“I am loved because I love” & “I need you because I love you” vs. “I love because I am loved” & “I love you because I need you”
-Mature unconditional love vs. immature conditional love

Question 24

Fatherly love

Answer 24

-Is conditional unlike motherly love
-The negative is that it has to be earned; usually though obedience
-Disobedience is seem as punishable; withdrawal of fatherly love
-The positive is that you have control over your father’s love unlike your mother’s

Question 25

Motherly love

Answer 25

-Preservation of child life and growth
-Instilling in the child a love for living
-Two should become separate
-Requires the ability to give everything and expect nothing in return except for the happiness of the loved one

Question 26

Milk and honey

Answer 26

-Milk is the essential need of the child; food, shelter, care, etc
-Honey is the extra nourishment for the child; fun, entertainment, etc
-The amount of honey is affected by the socioeconomic status of parents

Question 27

Donald Winnicott

Answer 27

-The good enough mother
-The foundation of health are made by the ordinary mother in her ordinary loving of her own baby
-Pediatrician and psychoanalyst who grew up with a depressed mother

Question 28

The “good enough” mother

Answer 28

-One who does their best
-Follow your instincts and it will be fine
-Too much or too little love might not be helpful

Question 29

The holding environment

Answer 29

Everything that the mother does for the child creates the kid’s first idea of the mother

Question 30

Functions of friendship in childhood development

Answer 30

-Friends provide information about the world
-Provide emotional support and stress management
-Teaches children how to manage emotions
-Builds communication
-Fosters intellectual growth
-Allows children to practice relationship skills

Question 31

Social life of preschoolers

Answer 31

-First Time that kids start to interact with people outside of their family
-Develop preferences for friendships and friendship itself
-Friendship is focused on playing together
-Play (imagined or real) is very important in childhood development

Question 32

Popular Traits

Answer 32

-Extraversion
-Emotional intelligence

Question 33

Unpopular Traits

Answer 33

-Introversion
-Aggression

Question 34

Damon’s 3 stages of friendships

Answer 34

Stage 1 (elementary school)
Stage 2 (middle school)
Stage 3 (high school)

Question 35

Stage 1

Answer 35

-See friends as themselves
-Friends are people who they play and share toys with
-Don’t see personality as much

Question 36

Stage 2

Answer 36

-Mutual trust
-Begin to consider people’s characteristics
-View friends in terms of the reward they provide

Question 37

Stage 3

Answer 37

-Intimacy and loyalty
-Sharing secrets and exclusivity
-Develop clear ideas and preferences about the behavior they seek in friends

Question 38

Social competence

Answer 38

-Collection of skills that permit individuals to perform successfully in social settings

Question 39

The Little Prince

Answer 39

-Friendships take patience time and effort
-Our relationships are the ones that make the world around us meaningful