Love Actually - Love, Sex, and Eroticism (Week 8)

Question 1

The Double Flame on Love & Eroticism

Answer 1

-The erotic is interwined with fantasy and imagination
-Eroticism isn’t merely animal sexuality it is above the physical act of sex
-It includes ceremony, representation (non literal things that are happening), sexuality transfigured
-Imagination turns sex into ceremony and rite, elevating it

Question 2

Language and Poetry as to Sexuality and Eroticism

Answer 2

-Sex/sexuality is to language as poetry is to eroticism
-Language is the basic building blocks of poetry
-Sexuality is the building blocks of eroticism
-When assembled it turns into something new
-With sexuality, pleasure serves procreation
-With eroticism, sex is for the sole purpose of pleasure

Question 3

Esther Perel

Answer 3

-Sex isn’t something we do, it is a place we go
-Sex is not a physical act but a mental state we go in
-Sex is a life force and an antidote to death

Question 4

Imagination in the erotic

Answer 4

-In sex, we may reinvent/reimagine ourselves and our partners in different ways
-Relates to how we see ourselves in relation to the world
-Imagination enhances eroticism; masturbation through imagination
-Imagination fosters novelty, vitality, aliveness, creativity, playfulness, etc

Question 5

Desire

Answer 5

-Owning the wanting
-In order to want something there needs to an individual sense of self who has the freedom to choice
-You need to feel worthy of receiving desire to experience it
-Desire for another and the experience of it is connected to the sense of self-worth

Question 6

Erotic Intelligence

Answer 6

-A couple’s ability to re-invent themselves and relational arrangements through sex
-Needed for novelty and change
-Not about sexual posiitons but the spiritual aspects about reimagining the self and partner(s)
-Involves risk taking and active engagement with the unknown
-The unknown meaning the new arrangements that could come out from this change of dynamics

Question 7

Stephen Mitchell: Strange Loops of Sexuality

Answer 7

-Sexual activity is more than the physical, it is conceptual, emotional, psychological and spiritual
-Body and mind experience is tied together in sex
-Interested in the idea that pleasure for oneself is indecent or selfish
- Sex is not about the suppressed unconscious but it is about the process that consciously happens during sex
-We have a clear concept of ourselves and it helps us form relationships
-But in sexual experiences there is a sense of vulerablity conflicts with our self of sense
-A blur of our concept of self and our relationship with others

Question 8

Strange Loops

Answer 8

-Reciprocal influence of our base urges (brain) and how we process it (mind)
-Reciprocal influence between the physical experience of sex and cultural and social norms surrounding sex, on our mental state during sex
-Reciprocal influence of the experience of self (personal) and experience of others (interpersonal)
-Complex psychological experience where the internal (unshared personal conscious/thoughts) and the external (shared physical act of sex with another) reshape each other over and over again generating a sense of indecency or discomfort in the moment

Question 9

Freudian Approach

Answer 9

-Sexual urges are animalistic drives that come from our unconscious minds (Id)
-Humans are trying to balance our need for connection and the antisocial impulse of lust
-Sex drive is seen in “lower” forms of life so our higher selves, reason; cognition; morality, are not sexual beings
-The feeling of pleasure and acting on it is indecent because it is an animalistic urge that is stored in our unconscious minds so we are uncomfortable with bringing it to our conscious minds and acting on it