Lecture 11 - Attraction And Relationships

Question 1

What is the behaviourist perspective on love?

Answer 1

-Argues that all human and animal behaviour can be explained in term of conditioning
- Thoughts and feelings are irrelevant
- Infants cling to their mothers because they have to come to associate mothers with food and other material rewards

Question 2

What were the findings of Harlow’s experiments on love between mother and child?

Answer 2

Study:
- Separated infant macaque monkeys from their mothers shortly after birth
- Building surrogates mother (one steel and one soft cushion)

Findings:
- Monkeys preferred soft mother to steel mother, even if steel mother fed the monkey.
- infants preferred to cling to cloth surrogate mother when faced with fear inducing stimulation
- infants used cloth mother as secure base for exploration
- Monkeys raised with only steel mother or without a mother at all showed high levels of terror and distress in unfamiliar situations —> also exhibited severe social issues later in life

Question 3

What is John Bowlby’s attachment theory?

Answer 3

• Posits the existence of a universal, evolved biobehavioural system (attachment system) that motivates maintenance of proximity to caregivers (attachment figures) in infancy/childhood, thus promoting survival

Question 4

What were the findings of the Ainsworth study with children being left alone in a room and attachment styles ?

Answer 4

• infants generally exhibit distress when mother leaves the room
• observed emergence of three different kinds of behavioural patterns infants display upon the mother’s return, which could be reliably linked to differences in prior maternal care
• Secure pattern of attachment
• Anxious/Ambivalent insecure pattern of attachment
• Avoidant insecure pattern of attachment

Question 5

What is a secure attachment pattern like?

Answer 5

• Distressed by mother’s departure
• Seeks contact with the mother upon her return, readily soother and reassured by her presence
• uses mother as a secure base to explore

Question 6

What is an anxious/ambivalent pattern like?

Answer 6

• The clingy baby in the video
• Highly distressed by mother’s departure
• Continues to cry and exhibit distress even when contact is restored
• Ambivalence towards the mother
• No interest in exploration, not able to use mother as a secure base

Question 7

What is an avoidant pattern like?

Answer 7

• The sullen baby in the video
• Appears indifferent to the mother upon her return
• May play with toys but does not actively involve the mother as securely attached babies do

Question 8

What are the antecedents of secure attachments?

Answer 8

• Thought to derive from a history of positive interactions with a response caregiver
• Bids for proximity and reassurance are sensitively and consistently attended to

Question 9

What are the antecedents of insecure attachment?

Answer 9

• Insecure attachments are thought to stem from deficits in caregiving

-Anxious/ambivalent : caregiver is inconsistent

-Avoidant : caregiver is rejecting, discourages closeness

Question 10

What are internal working models?

Answer 10

• in the course of attachment interactions, individuals develop schemas or internal working models of themselves and their attachment figures
• will guide subsequent interactions with attachment figures as well as other people

Question 11

What could a secure attachment style think?

Answer 11

• I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close.

Question 12

What could an anxious/ambivalent attachment style think?

Answer 12

I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.

Question 13

What could an avoidant attachment style think?

Answer 13

I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being

Question 14

What have securely attached individuals learned?

Answer 14

• Others can be relied on for support
• Believe that distress is manageable
• More effective at providing support to relationship partners
• Have more stable and satisfying than insecurely attached individuals

Question 15

What have anxiously attached individuals learned?

Answer 15

• intense need to feel close and accepted but hold serious doubts about their ability to sustain their partner’s love and loyalty
• Clinging and controlling behaviour
• Excessive reassurance seeking

Question 16

What have avoidantly attached individuals learned in relationships?

Answer 16

• uncomfortable with closeness, self-disclosure, being vulnerable
• Seek independence and self-reliance
• Research suggests that distancing from others and suppression of negative affect is a reaction to rejection fears

Question 17

What is the self-expansion model?

Answer 17

1) people have a fundamental desire to expand — to increase their self-efficacy
2) close relationships provide one way of achieving this —> include other person as part of ourselves, including their knowledge, perspectives and resources

Question 18

How do couples keep the spark alive?

Answer 18

Couples who did exciting, self-expanding activities together reported greater relationship satisfaction after 10 weeks compared to couples who engaged in pleasant activities

Question 19

What is the investment model of commitment?

Answer 19

• Relationship stability is determined by commitment : the intent to persist in the relationship

Question 20

What factors contribute to commitment level?

Answer 20

• Satisfaction level
• Quality of alternatives
• Investment size

Question 21

What is the satisfaction level in the investment model of commitment?

Answer 21

The amount of positive versus negative affect experienced in a relationship
- To what extent are one’s needs met and being fulfilled by a partner?

Question 22

What is the quality of alternatives in the investment model of commitment?

Answer 22

Perceived desirability of the alternatives to the relationship
- How much greener does the grass look on the other side?

Question 23

What is the investment size in the investment model of commitment?

Answer 23

The amount and importance of the resources invested in the relationship that would be lost if the relationship were to end
- time, effort, mutual friends, etc.

Question 24

What is relationship inertia?

Answer 24

• People often decide to start living together to see if their relationship is strong
• But cohabitation tends to increase investments without necessarily increasing satisfaction
• Negative effect of premarital cohabitation does not apply when the decision to marry is made before moving in together

Question 25

What are the 3 relationship maintenance behaviours?

Answer 25

1) willingness to accommodate rather than retaliate when partner behaves badly
2) Willingness to make sacrifices when one’s preferences are at odds with the partner’s preferences
3) Derogation of attractive alternatives
- Particularly when threat to the relationship is high

Question 26

What are som relationship-enhancing cognitions?

Answer 26

• Processing information to support staying in the relationship
• Positive illusions about relationship and partner

Question 27

What are the 4 harmful relationship behaviours?

Answer 27

1) criticism : personal attack on the partner
2) contempt : decay of admiration for the partner, looking down on the partner
3) Defensiveness : denying responsibility and making excuses for one’s actions, cross-complaining
4) Stonewalling : withdrawing and disengaging from meaningful conversation with the partner, removing oneself from the conversation, not responding or offering monosyllabic responses