Kimberly/Kelly - Lizzie Flashcards
(Scene 3 begins)
INTERVIEWER 2: Thank you for coming in on such short notice.
KIMBERLY: I’m glad you could fit me in. My life has just been so busy lately.
INTERVIEWER 2: Oh yeah, with what?
KIMBERLY: Oh, you know, applying to schools, end of the year club wrap-ups. Trying to get into prestigious summer programs. On top of all that, I’m being filmed for a documentary.
INTERVIEWER 2: A documentary? Really?
KIMBERLY: Yeah, I know it’s crazy. My brother knows this guy… and he’s doing this thing about highschoolers, like a gritty, realistic piece about kids all over the country and…you know, they just thought I was interesting I guess.
INTERVIEWER 2: So they follow you around everywhere?
KIMBERLY: Yeah and actually…I probably should have told you this on the phone, but they’re…right outside the door.
INTERVIEWER 2: Oh, well…
KIMBERLY: And I know it’s weird and everything, but they’re completely respectful, very quiet, you’ll hardly know they’re here.
INTERVIEWER 2: I’m sure they are, it’s just, I have a reputation at this school and I don’t-
KIMBERLY: Oh they’ll blur your face, no one will even know it’s you if you want. Plus it’s free publicity for the school.
INTERVIEWER 2: I.. suppose. But you promise you’ll blur my face and disguise my voice.
KIMBERLY: Oh yeah, if you just sign this, and check this box, we’ll make sure your likeness isn’t used in any way.
(INTERVIEWER 2 signs the paper.)
INTERVIEWER 2: It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just you have to be very careful these days-
KIMBERLY: HE SIGNED IT!
INTERVIEWER 2: Okay, Kim.
KIMBERLY: (Acting like a brat:) It’s pronounced KIM-BAAARRR-El. No E. The e is silent.
INTERVIEWER 2: Okay, fine, Kim-Bar-El. Why is it you want to go to this University?
KIMBERLY: First of all, to party. Second of all, to meet some totes hot guys. Like totes n’ totes.
INTERVIEWER 2: Totes you say, well…anything else that you would want to do here? What…major are you interested in?
KIMBERLY: What do you mean? Major?
INTERVIEWER 2: You know, a major. Your degree?
KIMBERLY: What do you mean, degree? Like, how hot it is outside?
INTERVIEWER 2: No. What…you don’t know what a college degree is?
KIMBERLY: No. I’m totally dumb. But at least I’m not old, like you!
PRODUCER: Cut! PERFECT KIM! You were stupid, obnoxious…a completely terrible person. Just the kind of thing we like to see on reality TV.
KIMBERLY: (Acting normal:) Oh, when we do my confessionals, I should say how creepy the interviewer was and that he was, like, hitting on me.
(Scene 8 begins)
INTERVIEWER 1: Hi, you must be Kelly.
KELLY: Yes! Hi…
INTERVIEWER 1: Great, take a seat.
KELLY: Sure!
INTERVIEWER 1: (Opening her file:) So, let’s see here…oh! You know what, we never received your college essay.
KELLY: Is that right?!?
INTERVIEWER 1: Yeah, I’m not, uh, sure what happened. Do you have a copy of it?
KELLY: Oh absolutely. I’ve got it right here in my bag!
INTERVIEWER 1: That’s great, thank you…so, uh…I’m sorry, this is your college essay?
KELLY: That’s right.
INTERVIEWER 1: But…it’s…this is a drawing of a girl…in a pink dress. saying “oh boy!”
KELLY: Oh boy!
INTERVIEWER 1: Okay, well, let’s look at your transcript shall we…
(INTERVIEWER 1 opens Kelly’s file and is speechless.)
INTERVIEWER 1: You have no GPA?
KELLY: That’s right.
INTERVIEWER 1: And you didn’t take the SATs?
KELLY: Well now, how about that!
INTERVIEWER 1: According to this, you have a perfect attendance record, but have refused to do any homework or take any tests.
KELLY: That’s right.
INTERVIEWER 1: But.. Kelly, I’m not even sure how you got to this point. You can’t go to college without a GPA.
KELLY: Perhaps you’d like to see my recommendation.
