Brett/Jason - Miles Flashcards
(Scene 5 begins)
BRETT: Okay, okay! I’m totally on it, I’m on it, trust me. I’m gonna push my five a clock to six, my Tuesday to Friday, and flip another thing with a thing I got next month so don’t worry about it.
INTERVIEWER 2: Excuse me-
BRETT: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on. (To INTERVIEWER 2:) I’ll be done in a few, I’m so grateful for your patience, I can’t express that enough. We’re gonna have a great convo, I can feel it. (Back to the phone:) Okay chief, I gotta wrap this up. I’m psyched, I’m hungry, I’m pumped, we’re gonna blow this out of the water and blow people’s minds. Mañana.
(He hangs up the phone.)
BRETT: Again, appreciate your patience and your general attitude! You’re an ace in the hole. Up! Una momento.
(BRETT takes out his phone.)
BRETT: Ah, it’s my broham, Marty. He’s such a jerk. I just gotta (Starts texting:) “Put your money where your mouth is, Marty Mar. No Doubt!” Ah! Marty. Love ‘em but wouldn’t trust him with a pen-cil, know what I mean? Okay! Let’s do this thing.
INTERVIEWER 2: You’re Brett? You’re thirty minutes late.
BRETT: I know, I know, I got caught up in a conference call, a nightmare lunch meeting and this girl I’m dating…blah blah blah…you know.
INTERVIEWER 2: Well, it’s inconvenient for me. I have another prospective student…
BRETT: I know, I know, I’ve got a meet and greet in a fiver so let’s just bulldoze through this thing, shall we?
INTERVIEWER 2: Well, alright…I guess-
BRETT: You know what? I’m gonna take the reigns here and skip the whole “you ask questions part.” So here’s me: I’m a self-motivator, I’m extremely competitive, and I’m the life of the party. I like your school’s aggressive economic program, its ties to Harvard Business school, and its Greek social scene. Gonna pledge Alpha-Phi-Beta, or Delta-Kai-Delta…depending on the pledge class. My stats are well above your average so let’s make this happen. If you’re in the boat, I’m driving the ship. We good?
INTERVIEWER 2: No. Not at all.
BRETT: Cranberries, baby!
(BRETT sticks his hand out for a fist bump. INTERVIEWER 2 doesn’t respond. Not noticing, BRETT stands up and answers his phone.)
BRETT: Whattup buttercup! Yeah, I just had to do this lame face-to-face, I’m on my way. Kidding me, nailed it! It’s the Brettster you’re talking about here.
(Scene 13 begins)
JASON: So then is THIS your card?
INTERVIEWER 2: No. (1)
JASON: But where there’s a diamond, there must be a… Jack of all trades…in clubs.
INTERVIEWER 2: Still not my card.
JASON: Darn it. I was practicing all week.
INTERVIEWER 2: Look, I’m very glad you have hobbies outside of school, but maybe we can get back to-
JASON: Oh, sure, sure, sure. After…you show me the card UNDERNEATH YOUR SEAT.
INTERVIEWER 2: “Rules on how to Play Texas Hold ‘em?”
JASON: And who makes the rules, but a KING.
INTERVIEWER 2: Hey, that’s actually my card.
JASON: Really?
