Interplay Book - Chapter 8 Flashcards
Debilitative Emotions
Emotions that hinder or prevent effective performance
i.e.
emotions such as anger or fear, etc.
Emotional Contation
process in which emotions are spread from one person to another.
i.e.
you can probably recall instances in which being around a calm person left you feeling more at peace, or when your previously sunny mood was spoked by contact with a grouch
Emotional Intelligence
the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions and to be sensitive to others’ feelings
Emotional Labor
term to describe situations in which managing and even suppressing emotions are both appropriate and important component of many f not most occupations
Facilitative Emotions
emotions that contribute to effective functioning
i.e.
positive emotions such as joy and love, etc.
Fallacy of approval
the idea that it is vital - not just desirable - to obtain everyone’s approval, often going incredible lengths to seek acceptance from others, including sacrificing own principles and happiness
i.e. (1)
Fallacious approval seeking
- If speak up about those racist jokes they will probably think I’m hung up on political correctness
Rational
- I hope they won’t think I’m overly P.C., but I’d rather speak up than compromise my beliefs
i.e. (2)
Fallacious approval seeking
-If I say something, they will probably get defensive
Rational
- They may get defensive, but its best I say something
Fallacy of catastrophic expectations
the assumption hat if something bad can happen, it probably will.
i.e.
If I apply for this job, they won’t hire me
If I tell them how I feel, they will just laugh at me
If I invite them to the party, they probably won’t show up
(these thoughts can lead to self fulfilling prophecies, and the positive kind)
Fallacy of causation
belief that one should do nothing that can hurt or in any way inconvenience others because it will cause undesirable feelings
i.e.
you don’t tell a family member something that bothered you, to avoid making them angry
(we do not MAKE others feel, they feel on their own)
Fallacy of helplessness
the belief that forces beyond our control determine satisfaction in life. Victims
i.e.
I was born shy, I can’t do anything about it
I can’t tell my boss my real thoughts, or else I might lose my job
There are too many obstacles, and there is no way to get around them, I’m just gonna have to deal with it
Fallacy of overgeneralization
when a person bases a belief on a limited amount of evidence
i.e.
I tripped over the rug, I’m so clumsy
I forgot your birthday, I’m the worst friend ever
(it happened one time, doesn’t define you)
She never listens
He always yells
(exaggerate shortcomings, they don’t ALWAYS , or they NEVER)
Fallacy of perfection
the belief that a worthwhile communicator should be able to handle any situation with complete confidence and skill
i.e.
perfectionist, cannot admit to not knowing or being wrong.
Fallacy of should
the inability to distinguish between what is and what should be
i.e.
imagine a person who is full of complaints
“there should be no rain on weekends”
“we should only have to work 4 days out of the week”
“He shouldn’t act like that”
“I should be more nicer”
dwelling on criticism of what isn’t, vs what is
Reappraisal
rethinking the meaning of emotionally charged events in ways that alter their emotional impact
*different from suppressing one’s feelings
Rumination
recurrent thoughts not demanded by the immediate environment
i.e.
staying angry at someone for a wrong inflicted long ago can be just as punishing to the grudge holder as to the wrongdoer
Self-talk
form of intrapersonal communication where the non-vocal, internal monologue that is our process of thinking
i.e.
the little voice in our head
non-stop thoughts (aware or not)
