How to Cure Perfectionism Flashcards
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the wish for everything to be complete and right in every way; having nothing wrong. It is the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems.
Perfectionism is noticeable. What are some scientifically known features of the perfectionist? (mention five)
- Being threatened by imperfection;
- Ideas about minimising errors;
- Focus on the well-defined outcome;
- High demand for feedback;
- Over-preparing: e.g. cleaning the house all day or spending too much time on the school assignments.
Why perfectionist goals are not wise?
A person focused on avoiding one type of flaw is very limited in growth to discover avoiding other flaws, solving problems, or being creative or more socially likeable. They may become better at avoiding defined flaws, but they are not winning in the long run, because they are too focused on arbitrary goals. For example in volleyball, focusing on building a perfect defence on avoiding the ball from falling on the field is a bad strategy. The winning strategy is leading to grounding the balls on the opposite side with such attention to defence, that the team scores 21 points faster. The best approach is much more complex, with less control, but that’s the journey to the champion’s league.
What is the solution to perfectionism?
Prioritising bonds to outcomes is the key. The best way to cure perfectionism is to set up the goals on the process rather than an outcome. Asking questions: “How can I get better at doing this?” - is absolutely healthy. Thinking about loving and serving others fixes perfectionism and many more problems in life.
