Gender Communication Differences (U2)

Question 1

What was the childhood study and what did it conclude about boys and girls?

Answer 1

Development of social skills begins at an early age
- Boys: group oriented, teamwork of a strong group of friends
- Girls: individual oriented, one on one talking/one or two best friends

Question 2

What are the different perceptions between girls and boys?

Answer 2

Status lens (Males):
- Looking for differences to achieve status
- Young boys try to “one up” each other
Stronger personalities give orders and leaders (Higher Status)
- Weaker personalities accept orders and are subordinate (Lower Status)

Connections lens (Females)
- Look for similarities to achieve connection
- Try to achieve equality

Question 3

What are the different non-verbal communication (listening ritual) between girls and boys?

Answer 3

Men:
- Avoid direct eye contact
(still listening although not looking)
- Misinterpret direct eye contact as confrontational or flirtatious

Women:
- Direct, face to face (used to focus on connection)
- Misinterpret no eye contact as a sign of not listening

Question 4

What is verbal communication (conversation rituals) between girls and boys?

Answer 4

Ritual Opposition (Men):
- Boys “play fight”
- Playing Devil’s Advocate
- Used NOT to challenge but rather to explore possibilities
- Women misinterpret opposition as: bad ideas/mistakes/personal attacks

Ritual Apology (Women):
“I’m not sorry, Im sorry”
- Means i’m sorry that happened
- Not a personal apology
- Used as a transition in conversation
- Men misinterpret apology as: disorganization/incompetence

Question 5

What are the different general conversation rituals between girls and boys?

Answer 5

Men
- Use playful insults and teasing
- Related to the status dimension

Women:
- Use compliments
- Related to the connection dimension

Question 6

What are the differences in small talk between girls and boys?

Answer 6

Report Talk (Men):
- Focuses on information
- Sports and Hobbies

Rapport Talk (women):
- Talking about personal subjects in order to give sense of connection
- “How’s your family?”

Question 7

What are the differences in giving orders between girls and boys?

Answer 7

Direct (Men):
- Dictate orders
- Not bossy or offensive
- Women misinterpret direct order as: impoliteness/overbearing

Indirect (Women):
- Use strategies not to appear bossy
- “Could we do this”
- Men misinterpret approach as: not being managerial/easier to say no

Question 8

What is the double bind for women?

Answer 8

• If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy
• If a woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent

Question 9

Quick tips for boys and girls?

Answer 9

For Men:
- Give compliments more freely
- Use praise to temper criticism
- Asks for another’s opinion to make them feel included

For Women:
- Give ideas outright without disclaimer
- Be more concrete when giving orders