Chp 3

Question 1

Attending

Answer 1

Focuses on the counselor’s verbal and nonverbal behavior

Question 2

Observational Skills

Answer 2

Focuses on the client’s verbal and non verbal behavior

Question 3

Attending Behavior

Answer 3

Essential to an empathic relationship, is defined as supporting your client with individually and culturally appropriate verbal following, visuals, vocal quality, and body language/facial expression

Question 4

Listening is the core skill of attending behavior and is central to developing a relationship and making real contact with our clients.

Question 5

3 V’s + B

Answer 5

1) Visual (make eye contact when you speak)
2) Vocal Tone and Qualities (communicate with warmth and interest in your voice)
3) Verbal Tracking (stay with the clients story, track their story, and avoid their topic jumps)
4) Body language/facial expression (be yourself, show interest, face client’s squarely, lean in, smile)

Question 6

Nonetheless, smiling, listening, and a respectful and understanding vocal tone are things that “fit” virtually all cultures and individuals

Question 7

Attending behavior and listening are essential for human communication, but we need to be prepared for and expect individual and multicultural differences.

Question 8

Clients most likely developed their concerns over a longer period. It is critical that you slow down, relax, and attend to client stories and look for themes in their narratives.

Question 9

Emotional Coregulation

Answer 9

When clients became more emotional during the session, psychotherapists became less so. When counselor emotional arousal increased, client emotional arousal during sessions slowed.

Question 10

Verbal Underlining

Answer 10

As you consider the way you tell a story, you may find yourself giving louder volume and increased vocal emphasis to certain words and short phrases. Clients do the same. The key words a person underlines via volume and emphasis are often concepts of particular importance. At the same time, expect some important things to be said softly. When talking about critical issues, especially those that are difficult to talk about, expect a lower speech volume. In these cases, it is wise for you to match your vocal tone to the client’s.

Question 11

When you don’t know what to say next

Answer 11

Relax; you don’t need to introduce a new topic. Ask a question or make a brief comment regarding whatever the client has said in the immediate or near past. Build on the client’s topics, and you will come to know the client very well over time.

Question 12

Should clients match your language and chosen topic for discussion, or should you, the counselor, learn to match your language and style to that of the client? Most likely, both approaches are relevant, but in the beginning, you want to draw out client stories from their own language perspective, not yours.

Answer 12

Observe the selective attention patterns of both you and your clients. What do your clients focus on? What topics do they seem to avoid? Now ask yourself the same question

Question 13

The value of redirecting attention

Answer 13

We need to hear that client’s story, but we also need to selectively attend and not pay attention only to the negative. Clients grow from strengths. Redirect the conversation to focus on positive assets when you observe a strength, a wellness habit (running, spirituality, music), or a resource outside the individual who might be helpful.

Question 14

The usefulness of silence

Answer 14

Sometimes the best support may be simply being with the person and not saying a word. Consider offering a tissue, as even this small gesture shows you care. In general, it’s always good to have a box or two of tissues for clients to take even without asking or being offered. Of course, don’t follow the silence too long, search for a natural break, and attend appropriately.

Question 15

When you feel uncomfortable in silence

Answer 15

Look at your client with a supportive facial expression. If the client appears comfortable, draw from their body language and join in the silence. If the client seems disquieted by the silence, rely on your attending skills. Ask a question or make a comment about something relevant mentioned earlier in the session.

Question 16

Many clients can benefit from training and education in listening skills, particularly those who may be moderately depressed or lacking in social skills.

Question 17

Subtractive Empathy

Answer 17

Counselor responses give back to the client less than what the client stated, and perhaps even distort what has been said. In this case, the listening or influencing skills are used inappropriately

Question 18

Basic Empathy

Answer 18

Counselor responses are roughly interchangeable with those of the client. The counselor can say back accurately what the client has said. Skilled intentional competence with the basic listening sequence demonstrates empathy

Question 19

Additive Empathy

Answer 19

Counselor responses that add something beyond what the client has said often are additive. This may be adding a link to something the client has said earlier, or it may be a congruent idea or frame of reference that helps the client see a new perspective. Effective use of the influencing skills of the second half of this book is typically additive. Feedback and your own self-disclosure, used thoughtfully, can be additive.

Question 20

To do in session: Level 3 Interchangeable Empathic Responding

Answer 20

1) Aim to understand clients’ experience and worldview as they present their story, thoughts, and emotions to you in a nonjudgmental supportive fashion.
2) Seek to communicate that understanding to the client but avoid mixing “your own thing” in with what you say.

Question 21

15 minute video

Answer 21

• encourager (“okay” “sure”, head nods, telling the client to keep going)
• paraphrase (reflection of content without changing it/holding up a mirror)
• summarization (big picture set of reflection)
• questioning (open and closed questions)