Chapter 9 Attraction and Close Relationships Flashcards
The Need to Belong
The desire to form social relationships is fundamental
Loneliness
Occurs when there is a discrepancy between the level of contact one has and the level one wants
The 4 main factors of Attraction:
- Proximity
- Similarity
- Reciprocity
- Physical Attractiveness
Proximity
The people with whom you interact with most often are most likely to become your friends/romantic partners
Mere exposure effect
The phenomenon whereby the more often people are exposed to a stimulus, the more positively they evaluate the stimulus
Similarity
Shared interests/backgrounds
Similarity in attitudes, personality, appearance
Why does similarity influence attraction?
- Facilitates smooth interactions (less conflicts of interest)
- Similar others have qualities we like
Reciprocity
We like people who like us
Self-fulfilling prophecy
If we believe another person likes us, we behave in more likeable ways
Four theories of close relationships:
- Triangular Love theory
- Evolutionary theory
- Attachment theory
- Social Exchange theory/ Investment Model
Steinberg’s 3 components of Love:
- Passion
- Intimacy
- Commitment
Passion
Motivational component
- romance, sexual attraction, desire
Intimacy
Emotional component
- bondedness, warmth, sharing
Commitment
Cognitive component
- conscious decision for relationship
Attachment theory
Argues that our behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences with parents and caregivers
Attachment style
The way a person typically interacts with significant others
The three Attachment Styles:
- Secure
- Avoidant
- Anxious/ Ambivalent
Secure Attachment
- Responsive caregivers
- Trusting; high satisfaction and commitment
- View self as worthy
Avoidant Attachment
- Aloof and distant caregivers; reject intimacy
- Desire intimacy but know it will be rejected
- Fear rejection; difficulty developing relationships
Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment
- Inconsistent and overbearing caregivers
- Anxious; cannot predict how a caregiver will respond
-More short-term relationships
Social Exchange Theory
A perspective that views people as motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs in their relationships with others
matching hypothesis
The proposition that people are attracted to others who are similar in physical attractiveness
What-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype
The belief that physically attractive individuals also possess desirable personality characteristics
4 types of behaviour that occur in troubled relationships
- Destructive active
- Destructive passive
- Constructive active
- Constructive passive
Destructive behaviours
Active: harming the relationship
e.g. abusing partner, threatening to break up
Passive: allowing the relationship to deteriorate
e.g. refusing to deal with problems, ignoring
Constructive behaviours
Active: trying to improve relationship
e.g. discussing problems, trying to change
Passive: remaining loyal to the relationship
e.g. wanting/hoping the relationship will improve
Phases of breaking up
- Interpersonal
- Dyadic
- Social
- Intrapersonal
Interpersonal phase
- personally assess quality of relationship and consider breaking up
Dyadic phase
- confront partner
-try to fix relationship
Social phase
- Negotiate post-break-up status with partner
- create blame placing stories
Intrapersonal phase
- Engage in “moving on”
- Publicly distribute break up story
